Some guys on this don't want a healthy sex life, they basically want to be monks.

One thing that I’ve learned is that we have to keep the focus on ourselves and not get caught up with looking at others.

Each person is at a different point on the journey to sobriety. What some think today may change next week.

There are a few subjects I’ve changed my mind on since starting this. I won’t say what those things are since I don’t want to start a heated discussion.

Also remember there are those here who haven’t started the journey at all and are only here to troll, insult, mislead, and spread discord.

Best wishes to you!

 

Then don't

 

That's because many of them are operating in a spirituality that is stuck at Spiral Dynamics Stage Blue. If you want an overview of what Spiral Dynamics, here is a good primer:



He also has videos going into detail for Stage Purple to Stage Turquoise, though he begins at Stage Blue. I would recommend watching them in the order he released, rather than starting from the first stage and moving to the last stage.

Honestly I highly recommend every human being watch those videos. They'll bring you an understanding of reality that is so life changing and paradigm shifting that you won't see the world the same way afterward. I don't agree with everything he says about it, but as an introduction to the model it's absolutely amazing. I can't express to you how important understanding this model is for your own growth and development and for the growth and development of society.

 

Sometimes it seems like half the guys here want to be monks, and the other half are stuck in a p-fantasy of wanting to sleep with a different girl every night. Especially when the multiple 'why don't girls like me' threads descend into the usual nonsense...

But plenty of us are after a happy medium, a normal healthy and moderate sex life!

 

It's whatever you want out of life. There is nothing wrong with being celibate or a virgin if that drives you down a positive path in life. Don't try to kid yourself that quitting porn equates to becoming celibate.

What one shouldn't do is try to replace porn with bedding many women. You're just replacing the digital with reality. Try to focus on building a meaningful relationship with a woman that isn't based around sex.

I do have great respect for people who have become celibate, especially if they were reckless with their sexuality beforehand. It's one heck of a turn around. However, if you're addicted to porn and or sex, trying to force yourself into celibacy isn't going to happen. This will come naturally overtime through spiritual practice.