Some NoFap moderators could be occasionally unfair?

Discussion in 'NoFap Technical Support and Feedback' started by Star Lord, Aug 10, 2016.

  1. Star Lord

    Star Lord Fapstronaut

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    You can't even post a comment on a thread saying that you think it's insensitive to pick flaws in other people without it being deleted. This forum is draconian. There's very few good moderators here, the rest are power tripping oafs, and there's a network of users who get what they want because they are friends with mods. Bullshit rules
     
  2. L Coroneos

    L Coroneos Fapstronaut

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    LOL

    The moderators here are not at all heavy-handed, but now that you mention it, I was a bit disappointed when my thread called "Darkest Thought" was deleted.

    Now is the time to air that grievance! Why was my thread deleted?

    I believe it was on the pretext that it would contain triggers. The premise of the thread was to get everyone to confess their darkest thoughts... but I didn't expect everyone to go into detail about the nature of the desires of their evil hearts. Maybe I should have been more specific about what kinds of dark thoughts I wanted people to post. I have learnt from my mistake and will keep my darkest thoughts to myself from now on.
     
  3. Dendrite

    Dendrite Fapstronaut

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    Of course the "darkest thoughts" of people on an ADDICTION forum would tend to involve ... the ADDICTION ...

    But, if that's not the kind of dark thoughts you were looking for ... I have some other ones ... but they do get pretty dark, so be warned!
    • THOUGHTS
    • THOUGHTS
    • THOUGHTS
     
  4. IGY

    IGY Guest

    It would make no difference how specific you were. You cannot control the posts others submit. Many people in these forums seem oblivious to the impact of what they say. :rolleyes:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 5, 2017
  5. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Yeah, I have been shafted here before. :mad: Moderators should provide an explanation for their actions. Often they delete things in a covert way and the person who's post has been censored altered or deleted is kept in the dark. That is wrong.
     
  6. Star Lord

    Star Lord Fapstronaut

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    I like how one of the mods (unsure who) has silenced my thread so that any replies don't pop up in my alerts. So (potentially) corrupt
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2016
  7. Star Lord

    Star Lord Fapstronaut

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    There are definitely power tripping mods amongst the good mods though, I will take the burden of saying that. They need to be kicked off the forum, because a moderators duty is to remain firstly unbiased and also inquire/investigate fully the post or thread and should discuss this with the user who created said thread. Instead bad mods just delete as they wish and give some bs reason behind it.
    Many users who know me know that I post my opinion clearly, but I'm also very helpful and never set out to offend anyone who is undeserving. I'm instead blunt, to the point and some find it slightly sour, naturally. Which is why I made this thread because I'm tired of bad mods taking sides without knowing what people mean behind what they post and without knowing the users history.
     
  8. Star Lord

    Star Lord Fapstronaut

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    If you guys are wondering why I'm pissed off, it because of this...

    Notice how the mod said that the OP stated his on on autism spectrum. Well in the whole thread the OP didn't state that, instead other users were merely suggesting he could be, and as they are not professionals then anything they say has no influential meaning.

    So as a result, describing the OP's action in relation to his post as insensitive is apparently offensive, because he is supposedly suddenly a known autistic person because NoFap users suspect that. The idiocy of this case is so overwhelming I really think I have become and idiot myself.

    Anyway that's my rant over.
     

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  9. L Coroneos

    L Coroneos Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing.

    I notice how you went from stating your case in a general fashion ("many moderators on NoFap are corrupt") to specific ("my post was deleted"). Why didn't you just complain about this particular incident in the first place? I'm not having a go at you, just highlighting the disadvantages of over-generalising. I think this thread has the potential to be very constructive.

    I was banned from NoFap last year for swearing at a moderator after he sent me a warning, presumably because I was making jokes about Christians and pedophiles. I have taken a more serious approach to NoFap this time around and have only had to put one Fapstronaut on my ignore list so far.

    NoFap is usually a very supportive and tolerant place, so I am surprised that these issues have come up. I hope the moderators are now aware of the kind of criticism we can offer them and would encourage any feedback from moderators and other users on this matter.
     
  10. I wouldn't go so far as to say they are corrupt.

    I like all the mods myself :). Every single one of them I thoroughly respect and absolutely enjoy their presence, I knew every single one of them before they became mods here actually.

    I will join in your unwarranted hate and say that my thread was moved to the incorrect age section (all is well now :D) in the reboot logs, when I purposefully created the thread declaring I did not want it in that section hahahha at least it wasn't moved until it was well under way and I had accomplished what I started it for (sorry if that sounds secretive hehe it is somewhat unforthcoming intentionally).

    Anyways looking back they had every right to. The thread is basically a reboot log lmao. It didn't belong in the general reboot section.

    Anyways opinions aside, I can feel your pain. But calling any of the mods or the forum itself Draconian is a bit Draconian of you if I do say. Your opinion here, well, is just an opinion.

    The mods are not being unfair. They are being cautious and trying to do their jobs how they were trained, according to the forum rules.

    End of story.
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2016
  11. Star Lord

    Star Lord Fapstronaut

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    You make a fair point. But I'm still unamused by my experiences. I feel like some of the mods just delete stuff, no questions asked simply because it's easier than performing a correct, fair assessment of content.
     
  12. Star Lord

    Star Lord Fapstronaut

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    I'm playing No Man's Sky now so my irritation over this issue is less so, marginally. 0.5% less lol
     
  13. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Well, as a moderator I think I should put in my two cents to this thread. The thread in question, where RepentMySins' comment was deleted was this one, in which the OP asked for advice on what people think of him "pointing out other people's flaws".

    I deleted RepentMySins' comment based on the fact that I thought it was unhelpful and a little disrespectful to the OP, considering his intentions as he outlined in his initial post (which I'll link below). Admittedly, I did not give my reason for deleting his post in this form. Rather I said "The guy you've written about has already stated he's on the autism spectrum. Do not undermine his illness by saying he's merely insensitive". I admit that this comment was a little short-sighted on my behalf, as it had only been suggested that the OP could be autistic and although he had done a sort of 'self analysis' of autism behaviors on the thread, he had not specifically said that he was autistic. Therefore although I do not apologise for deleting the comment @RepentMySins, I do apologise that my comment to you did not accurately reflect the reason for moderation.

    The OP's post on the thread was this (below), to which RepentMySins responded by saying:
    It's up to you to make your own conclusions on what RepentMySins said. However I do not believe his comment made any effort to provide helpful input to the OP's question. I picked up a certain sense of naivety in the OP's post. For example, the quote "How can I actually explain this to her in a way to make her understand that I don't actually mean it and that I don't really take it as negative?" suggests that he does not want to do wrong to his mother by pointing out a flaw in her, and that he therefore wants to know what he can do to express what he really means by pointing it out (I don't know the explicit reason however he has stated that he did not mean to offend her), without upsetting her. RepentMySins' response 'Oh, you're an asshole. Ask yourself what you hate about yourself' does not in any way seek to understand the OP's question.

    Obviously, I'm only doing this full blown analysis to clarify the context of this thread. Hopefully you can see RepentMySins that it is difficult to express this in a single line text box. I do apologise however for my mistake in saying that it had been established that the OP was definitively autistic.

    Additionally, the context of my moderation action in this case was that I saw the offence as relatively minor and therefore did not choose to create any warnings (in which a conversation is started with the offender and they are given the reason for moderation and the relevant consequences). Therefore I chose to simply delete the post and notify RepentMySins, with the reason as stated above.

    As for corruption within the moderation team, it's difficult to speculate on how accurate such an accusation could be. About the 'friends in high places thing', I can only speak for myself. There is only one user on this site who I consider to be a friend of mine. As such I find it difficult to provide moderation input on things they have reported (unless it's spam), or things they have posted which may require moderation. As such I leave that to other moderators to decide upon. I do not believe the other moderators (or myself) are biased towards specific people on the site. Rather they use their best judgement to decide on what needs moderation.

    As a final note, I think I should mention that the moderation on this site isn't perfect. Like you have said RepentMySins, we are just regular people and we have our own lives outside of nofap. Therefore, the way the moderation scheme is run is that it's up to whoever's online to moderate, and that they should use their best judgement to decide on what's appropriate. We do sometimes collaborate on things, but not all the time. Due to this nature of setup, it is unavoidable that different moderators will have different preferences on how they act. For example, I am more lenient on people posting content of religious nature (unless it turns into a rant), but less lenient of users with repeat offences (eg I enforce a three strikes warning policy). I do know that other moderators are less lenient on religious content. Additionally, I always try to notify people if they have stepped out of line, however I cannot completely say out of the other moderators.

    What is your other guys' feedback on this: @matthewmammothrept , @alexander ,@Handzfree , @TheWife and @Yesodi ?
     
  14. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    We (moderators) can't even do that bro... You know you have to watch a thread to receive notifications on it, right?
     
    Fallior and (deleted member) like this.
  15. Fallior

    Fallior Fapstronaut

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    I actually did not see his comment before it was deleted. I agree, if I would have read that, I would have thought that was completely uncalled for, and an indirect attack on me to be honest. Obviously I was posting, trying to see if anyone knows why I do it without knowing it, and how I can stop it or what type of personality it is, etc. An asshole is someone that does things purposefully, or at least does not want to get help for the assholeish way they are acting, which is the exact opposite of what I was doing.
     
    MsPants likes this.
  16. Disgruntled Worker

    Disgruntled Worker Fapstronaut

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    I'm a member of another forum completely unrelated to NoFap. And I can say the mods here are VERY generous. Half the shit that's said here - for example, the word "shit" - would be off limits and could potentially lead to a ban on that other site. Granted, that other site is a sporting goods company and its forum has to protect the company's image, especially against racist, sexist, and/or homophobic comments. But they're still ten times as strict as the guys here. And unlike the mods over there, NoFap mods don't get paid as far as I know.

    I think we should just appreciate what the guys here are doing. Remember where you were before you found this site. Think about how lost and sad and depressed you were. And, really, how much money did you pay to be a member here? NOTHING. Nada. Zero. Zilch.

    This site changed my life and continues to promote positive behavior. I no longer think of what could have been, only what is and will be. If matthewmammothrept or alexander or gigglesmack decide to delete one of my posts, I wouldn't take it personally because it's a drop of water in an ocean of awesome benevolence and coolness.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2016
  17. Yesodi

    Yesodi Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    In full agreement with @NoBrainer's analysis of the general moderation-related situation (and I prefer to avoid "babysitting" the unfortunate situation into which the specific autism-related thread has degenerated), I'd like to humbly suggest that we all collectively do our best to "chill out" with the accusations and non-constructIve criticism, while proactively doing our best to make this blessed Forum as helpful, supportive, tolerant, pleasant, and friendly as possible. :D

    I am not aware of any "corruption" or cronyistic partiality amongst any of the moderators. But as @NoBrainer correctly pointed out, we are not perfect as moderators -- and not just because we too often have a lot of personal shit to deal with in our own lives, and thus have limited time and emotional energy left for our voluntary public-service. Indeed, we too are ordinary humans, with our own faults and flaws.:oops: But nevertheless, without a doubt: each of us moderators genuinely strives to do his/her personal best for the collective good of this Forum. :cool:

    Of course the "easiest" (though least fun) parts of our moderation duties include those non-controversial, obviously-correct, and often mechanically semi-automatic tasks such as: searching for and eliminating SPAM, moving/recategorizing threads, and answering basic questions and reasonable requests for help.

    What is less easy is trying to enforce the more "sensitive" aspects of the NoFap.com Rules. And as @NoBrainer pointed out, although we moderators often do collaborate on the more "serious" challenges, each of us has his/her own personal "enforcement-style" on the myriad day-to-day cases that we handle on our own, depending on who happened to have been online at the time.

    I personally prefer to be as maximally laissez faire and as minimally "trigger happy" as possible when pointing out borderline or first-time violations related to religious postings or uncouth language or behavior. And while it personally troubles me that so many posts here are written in such an insensitive manner, or that so many posts display a "trigger-happiness" in pointing out others' borderline or first-time violations, I unfortunately do not have the time and mental/emotional bandwidth to play "babysitter" on most of the childish "He started! NO, she started!!" arguments that often ensue. :rolleyes:

    But when I do identify a need to intervene, I usually start by first issuing warnings -- often without any formal "Warning Points" in the case of borderline or first-time violations. For very serious or repeat offenses, I do act with much greater force, to the necessary degree. :cool:

    I truly believe that @alexander deserves a tremendous mountain of kudos (and paying-supporters!) for his creation of this blessed Forum. And it is up to each and every one of us (and within our reach) to do his/her part in lovingly nurturing this Forum and taking it to increasingly higher levels of Goodness! :D
     
  18. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Hey buddy! You are among friends and you have a lot of support and empathy, so please do not feel undermined as a person for one insensitive comment - which was identified and dealt with accordingly (further evidence of support). :)

    My sincere hope is that when you PMOd 2 hours or so ago, that it wasn't exacerbated by the stress of this discussion. If so, please start a private conversation with me or any number of people that wish you well for some extra support. Peace :)
     
  19. Star Lord

    Star Lord Fapstronaut

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    I was watching it though, that's the thing.
    Also why has this thread been moved to a different forum? Off topic seemed like a perfectly fine place to me.

    And im glad i received a full enquiry over this issue, I wont say im fully happy with the outcome though because it's seemed to have sparked mob mentality within other users who only focused on select words instead of actually seeing my comment was meant as construction criticism and as a result people now think I'm a heartless user. I respond to posts differently to others. My comment was a reflective post. Yet nobody can see that it seems. I believe in sparking a chain reaction of thoughts and reflection to whoever the OP is when I post comments.
    I believe telling people what they want to hear is not always the right approach.
    If people can't see past my words and into the true meaning behind them then that their problem.

    Finally with regards to my final thoughts on the original post and my response. I unlike pretty much everyone here decided not to label OP as potentially this or potentially that. I believed it to be just a behavioural problem, not some intricate mental illness.
    It's called having respect. If I ever picked flaws in people to their face especially family, if I was younger or even now, I would be told off by that person or said family.
    But I forget we live in the age of a nanny state and a zero discipline world where people can do whatever and just be labeled as having some "problem". Everyone wants to have a "problem" in this day and age, and everyone is way over sensitive to any kind of shock tactic criticism. Well sorry, if you can't handle the truth. I get so tired of putting my time into looking through the forums and reading peoples posts, writing a what I believe to be a helpful response even of its slightly dry or blunt etc just to have it thrown back in my face. The world isn't all sunshine and buttercups, there's diversity, different kinds of help. I don't pussyfoot around the place, I say stuff with no strings attached.
    I'm done over this event.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2016

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