Some NoFap moderators could be occasionally unfair?

Discussion in 'NoFap Technical Support and Feedback' started by Star Lord, Aug 10, 2016.

  1. IGY

    IGY Guest

    I agree @RepentMySins. There is a woeful sense of humour on this site. It seems like the US guys are very sensitive: o_O
    I would just say to you American guys, lighten up a bit. Crack some jokes about the English, why would I care anyway? :rolleyes:
     
    Star Lord and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Why did the Siamese twins move to England? So the other one could drive!
     
    Star Lord likes this.
  3. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Hahaha! :D Oh yeah, because in most places in the world cars are made with the controls on the wrong side, LMFAO! :p
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Well @Son of a Bitch is Pending Deletion (or bugger off) @Deadlihood. :p
     
    Deadlihood likes this.
  5. Monster Carrot

    Monster Carrot Fapstronaut

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    You're the one who never responds when I make Monty Python jokes about you. -_- Oh well
     
  6. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Oh sorry @Monster Carrot. It is probably because I do not understand Monty Python. Can you give me an example? :)
     
  7. Monster Carrot

    Monster Carrot Fapstronaut

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    Can't tell if serious or Englishhumor
     
  8. IGY

    IGY Guest

    That was serious.
     
  9. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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  10. Monty Python are the best!
     
  11. @AndySky180 and @Lone_Wolf left the NoFap community because of the treatment by them of the moderators. It begs the question: are the moderators being unfair?
     
  12. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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  13. Attached Files:

    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 21, 2017
    Mitchell's Way likes this.
  14. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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  15. Make america great again, long live pepe
     
    Runtilmylegsdropoff likes this.
  16. Staff member (@OutsideTime) has stated that, "The moderation team is not here to perform damage control on anyone’s behalf." He qualified this statement to me, as follows: "Damage control: we'll do it for NoFap, we won't do it just because someone calls upon us. With the changes of the User Agreement, we are trying to place more onus on each individual person to act in a responsible manner."

    Btw, the changed User Agreement (the link is at the foot of every page), makes it clear that the moderators are not in the business of supporting people with their mental health challenges. I can personally attest to the fact that their decisions are made with no consideration whatsoever of the exacerbation on mental distress as a result. The moderators are cold, uncaring police, enforcing the Rules and the User Agreement with scant regard to how their actions impact on others.

    It has come to my attention that the staff team is stretched and that getting involved in disputes between members is very time-consuming. In view of this and the comment I quoted above, it is incumbent upon us all to sort out our own issues between ourselves. This is better anyway. Bringing in a third party into a difference in views, merely compounds things. There is plenty of evidence in this thread of mods acting unfairly, so let us circumvent them and move on. Regards, IGY.
     
  17. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    Great point @IGY . There is a place for everything. We are here to quit fapping.
    NoFap general discussions =/= bodybuilding misc section. If someone is offended by something minor then that's really sad for the person being so thin skinned. But we should provide a good environment for every quitter.

    It's annoying to have your comment deleted but you never know how that other person feels about your post.
     
    Mitchell's Way likes this.
  18. letter

    letter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Hey @IGY, sorry I haven't been in touch very much lately. I know these kinds of situations can cause immense amounts of stress, please believe me, they cause immense amounts of stress for me too. I'd go into detail of the kinds of tolls that moderation here has placed upon my life and body, but it would be unproductive to the point at hand.

    Let me confirm that the words you said above here...
    are indeed my words. Thank you for the discreet manner in which you shared them, as the context in which I said those things is sensitive.

    Please, allow me to speak from the heart for the rest of this. Details of policy don't suffice here.
    Is this really the case? If I looked in the mirror of these words, I see a man I do not recognize. I can see how you may perceive me as such, but that is not me. As you've gone beyond mere criticism of moderator actions and have gone on to speak of the character of the moderators themselves, thus speaking of my own character, I am going to speak for myself now.

    I did not become a moderator because I did not care for this community, or its cause. I did not sacrifice my time, energy and health for fulfilling this role because the people don't matter to me. Why would I spend my time trying to resolve disputes here when I live in a room with no walls and no door, no ceiling.. debt hanging over my head like Damocles' sword?? (for those who don't know, I am living in the middle of a renovation.. I am building a music studio) Why would I spend my precious time on moderating the community here when it is coming at the cost of my very dreams being denied to me??? (Perhaps delayed is more accurate, but I may have finished my project already if it were not for the time I put into NoFap. I am denied my dreams today)

    Do I have no consideration for exacerbating mental distress? Of all the people in the world who this is so wrong to say about, it is me. I am more deeply acquainted with mental suffering than a man should ever be. Do the scars that run deep in my soul leave me unfeeling? No. The things I see here on NoFap at time bring me to tears. I am confronted with the immense pain that empathy inflicts during the course of my duties here.

    As such, I spend hours trying to find answers to problems so that things can come to the best resolution we can make. I don't always find the right answers or the best ones, but I do not spare effort in my going to find them. A lot of the times I am left with impossible choices that please no one and will always leave someone hurt. You think I make these choices lightly?

    I could go on. I could go further. I could bring specific examples that prove each point I make above. I could write a novel on the intricacies of moderating NoFap and how I deal with it as a human being. I would hope you can take me at my word though, and spare us an argument about my character.

    In this, IGY, though we may have different reasons for coming to the point.. it is one I wholeheartedly agree on. Finding answers that make everyone happy takes an immense amount of time and care. I also have to do this with imperfect tools and across the medium of text on a screen. It is better if people would solve their own issues.

    By the time I usually have to come in, the situation is horribly complicated and there is no good answer that can result. People may not like the answers I find, I can live with that. I can apologize for whatever mistakes I made in the process. I feel the pain, at least to some degree, that my decisions inflict.

    I don't like making these calls. I don't like it one bit. I take no pleasure in having to hold people accountable to the rules here. It's not a fun task from ANY angle.

    Challenge my decisions. Challenge my actions. That is fair and good, I am open to being accountable. I think transparency is a good thing. I'll still have to make decisions that piss people off. I hope you can leave me free to make them without the essence of my character being called to account?

    We can disagree on the matters of what happens, but can we agree that neither of us wanted anything bad for each other?

    There's no monsters here on NoFap. Almost everyone here is a good person on the inside, struggling with things that we shouldn't have to struggle with as human beings... and making all kinds of mistakes that don't best reflect our true intentions because of such.

    So many of the disputes I come into are based in elementary misunderstanding... but we're all hurting so much that the emotions can blind us from seeing beyond our own pain.

    Monsters don't hurt. I don't see any monsters in our midst.

    So yeah, let's find better ways to move forward. It really comes down to how we see each other and our selves. We have to try to see the best in each other. All of us. A divide between the Moderators and the rest of the Fapstronauts will only harm us all.

    I am truly sorry for however imperfectly I've handled my duties. I've really tried to do my best. I hope you can see that.

    I don't apologize except when I mean it. I don't say words just to make people happy. So the above, is meaningful. I'm not just spouting rhetoric. I say this often, my first relationship is with the truth. However I have transgressed the truth cuts me very deeply.

    I hope this can help bridge the gap that exists between the moderators and those who feel like we don't care or are unfair.

    Let's move onto the fight against PMO, we're wasting our efforts fighting against each other.
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2017
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  19. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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  20. What I said was not about you specifically. Rather, what I have experienced having been 'dealt with' by the moderators.
    Your post confirms that this is the case. None of my conclusions or observations have changed after seeing your post OT.
     

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