Some outside perspective would be appreciated.

I'd wait until the subject comes up or bring it up once you guys start dating. I wouldn't talk about it right off the rip.

That's very thoughtful of you tho to wanna bring it up so early. No shade towards anyone but I've read plenty of journals where guys question if they should even talk about it with their wives.

 

Wow... I think you need to relax a bit dude. First thing first... you owe her nothing at the start. I have no idea why the issue of porn would come up so early on but even if it did, so what!

Also a lot of women watch porn too. My gf does. I know many women who do. I don't find it shameful at all... only reason I try to abstain ia because I find the experience draining.

Back to this girl. Just chill over this and if she asks then just tell her but been bold about it and not ashamed. As I say I expect she watches too. It's common in this day and age. Good luck and don't care too much what someone thinks before they have earned it.

 

Honestly, I think you should just focus on taking the leap and getting to know this person. We all have secrets, and we all have quirks.

 

Ask her out.
Don't talk about porn, especially porn addiction.
It will more than likely cause some awkward feelings especially from her.
Some things should remain secret until it's unavoidable to disclose, when you only just get to know someone that is.
As long as you are still true to yourself nobody has to know.
If she asks, just say "yeah I've watched porn in the past" and leave it at that.
But seriously she won't ask.

I would also be worried if it was a first date conversation topic, it would raise flags...

 

Good luck!

 

Yes, ask her out! Just do it.

But... don't bring up your addiction. Unless she brings it up. Your (now soon to be previous) addiction is nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, there's not much point bringing it up early on in a relationship as (imo) it brings emotional baggage into the relationship too early, and would likely scare her off...

Nice work by the way bro. Just keep doing what you're doing!

 

Give yourself a break. As someone else said, we all have our 'secrets and quirks' and so does she. We all have things we aren't proud of, and that's that. But there is no reason to feel ashamed of your past. Also, wouldn't you want to be with people who accept you for your entire being and history, and whom you can be honest with? I know I don't care for people who cannot accept my past shortcomings.

Also, just some sound advice: you can't really plan how your relation will turn out. You can hope for certain things, but don't fall into the trap of rigid planning when it comes to interaction with other people. It kills the spontaneity of the moment, creates a lot of fixed expectations which will feel like failures if they're not met, and what not. Just relax and focus on talking to her in the moment and see where it goes. Be present. Don't stress a future that has yet to come.

Also, rejection is part of life. It shouldn't be feared though. Don't take it personal. If someone rejects you for whatever reason, just know it wouldn't be a match anyway and move on with your head held high. You haven't lost anything by being rejected, life is still the same, the Earth keeps spinning and the sun keeps shining. Nothing in the world actually changes. But rather, you're faced with an opportunity to reflect on the situation and learn something. There's a lesson in EVERYTHING. : 3

 

Tell her that you dont masturbate anymore because it was not doing you any good: you felt depressed, angry, unsocial. But after you stopped now you are feeling great, full of energy, much more productive and happier. And on top of that you want to experience the whole sexual intimacy just with her.

That what I am going to say, that's what I believe; nothing to be a ashamed for but on contrary it sounds actually pretty cool.

 

Others have answered well on the dating... so I don't feel the need to contribute on that.

I would offer this about your shame, guilt, and 'filth'. I would encourage you to find your way to lose that. It is natural to be curious. It's natural to be excited by the site of a possible sexual partner. You are in the company of millions in that you have watched and participated in it.

When you watched porn, you still saw human beings. What they did together may have been false in that it didn't feel good to those that were doing it (but it looked exciting). How those people look is false, in that often body makeup (or even digital image manipulation) are used, and even if not, women usually only look that way for the briefest of moments in their life, often having to hurt themselves to accomplish it. (Some women don't last 3 months in the industry because of it). The length of time they were doing what they were doing may be false for most partners. And the circumstances in which 'the plot' was based on is most definitely false, in that it wouldn't ever happen in real life.

That being said, you saw human people naked. When a doctor sees you naked, he/she doesn't see disgust or shame. They see humans. (Sex is healthy, Sex is beautiful, Sex is fun, Sex can connect you). Just because you saw two people having sex in a false way doesn't mean that you are less worthy or valuable human and partner.

In encourage you to reach a more comfortable place with that. Because if you are successful with your lady friend, then one day you will want to see her 'naked', and she will want to see you. Porn will win at damaging you, if on that day, you feel disgust, or filthy at what you see in her, or you feel shame and disgust holding you back from allow her to see you.