Somehow rewired to scratching/itching my skin? At a total loss here

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Betterman92, Sep 28, 2014.

  1. Betterman92

    Betterman92 Fapstronaut

    Alright guys, I need some serious help here. I'm at a total loss at what's going on, I can't even figure out what's triggering me now. This is starting to effect my schoolwork and everything.

    So if you read through my post history you'll see some great/crappy events where I seem to have gotten better or have fallen backwards again. I guess throughout all those crappy times I was still making progress though. This time, I've really been thrown for a loop.

    About a month ago, I started occasionally scratching a patch of skin on the back of one of my legs. I have eczema, and it wasn't particularly bad at the time, but it felt really good to scratch it so I did it anyway. Didn't really feel any different, didn't think anything of it.

    Two weeks later, I wake up, get ready for the day, and scratch my leg again. Damn, it feels good. Too good. Right afterwards, I felt different. Really light and almost thin in a sort of way. I don't think much of it and continue on with my day.

    This is where things get weird. Throughout the day, I felt REALLY different. Seriously different. Lot of weird, awkward anxiety, WAY lower sex drive, it's like that old social anxiety is back again. I'm thinking "Okay, this is weird...but I didn't masturbate, fantasize, or otherwise view anything pornographic, so I suppose it'll pass soon".

    Well, it didn't pass. I felt RIDICULOUSLY depressed the next day, along with a massive, massive drop in motivation, sex drive, and what appeared to be an inability to feel pleasure from anything. I just felt like crying, all day. Physically, I felt itchy. Everywhere. On my face, on my chest, legs, arms, everywhere. If I scratched the itch, it almost felt too good. Almost like an orgasm or something. This was worrying, as I'd made so much progress with Nofap, and I was finally starting to get my life back on track.

    At this point, I'm forming a hypothesis in my head: When I scratched my leg, it triggered a flood of dopamine that is now responsible for the depression and lack of motivation I'm feeling now. The fact that I triggered this flood through scratching my legs has somehow created an increase in sensitivity that is now causing the itching all over my body.

    Concerned, I went to see my family doctor. He had never heard of it before. He suggested that I just wait it out, or that it may just be my anxiety. He also suggested that I increase my medication, but I disagreed as the dose that I am taking now seems to be working well (when everything else is in order).

    So with this knowledge, I tried to wait it out. I felt a little better, then down all the way again. Skin still itchy. I'm struggling everyday to not scratch the itches that I feel. When I do scratch them, I feel almost instantaneous mood changes that usually end up with my feeling depressed, having no motivation or concentration, and a huge drop in my sex drive. It's seriously driving me crazy. I'm getting to the point now where I'm scratching unconsciously and am making myself feel like shit every day. I can't even cut my own fingernails anymore, or pick a piece of dry skin off my face. I feel these same mood changes with all of these activities.

    I guess to continue my hypothesis, I feel like I may have inadvertently rewired my still dopamine-seeking brain to picking at my skin. That doesn't sound too bad, I'd just do what I did with Nofap and not scratch these itches anymore. The problem is, I don't even know what to avoid. It's at the point now where I can trigger these huge mood changes with almost nothing. Putting my hand in the wrong position where it starts to feel "pleasurable". Weird shit like that. I have no doubt my own anxiety is playing into it, but Jesus Christ, I'm at my wit's end here.

    Right now I'm feeling like shit. I woke up and felt decent, decided to get some schoolwork done but during my shower I picked a piece of dry skin off my lip and lost all motivation and concentration to do anything. I can't get myself to read articles or anything. I honestly can't afford to take anymore days off. I've just gotten my shit in order with overcoming my pornography addiction, and now I'm faced with this. It's taking me all the way back down. I'm angry, so I'm half-hoping that by typing this out I'll relieve at least a little bit of the stress that I feel.

    It's an appeal as well, to anybody that might have half of an idea as to what I'm talking about. Please do post and tell me what the hell I have to do, because right now I have no idea where to go in my journey.

  2. xoneofficial

    xoneofficial New Fapstronaut

    Dude! I have the same fucking thing, how do you handle It?
  3. ukbritishbloke

    ukbritishbloke Fapstronaut

    I think this is about anxiety and/or depression. Doctors call some conditions that sound like this "psychogenic itch". Some people can stop this kind of scratching just by willpower and using a lot of creams, but professional help could be really useful for you. Please consider seeing someone for at least some kind of talking therapy, as well as researching how to cope with it yourself.
    Chubby likes this.

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