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someone give me some post relapse encouragement

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Nate007, Jun 3, 2014.

  1. Nate007

    Nate007 Fapstronaut

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    just as the title says thanks!
     
  2. nomas

    nomas Fapstronaut

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  3. klahhh

    klahhh Fapstronaut

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    Hi Nate, I think relapses are opportunities to learn and grow. We all share the same nature, yes? I mean we're all human beings so it possible to quit for you since others of the same nature have quit.

    When I use to relapse I use to go through a depression stage and all that did was make the binging stage more justifiable and made me look forward to it. The worse I felt the more I secretly appreciated porn, which brings me to my point.

    What's your life like? Divorced parents, no true friends, no interest in education. No true love for faimly or friends. Physically unhealthy, emotionally undeveloped, no luster for life, no clear purpose of being. No knowledge of God. No Love of God.

    This was my life. It's no wonder porn was so prominent, my defeated life was constantly generating a great demand for escape.


    Here's where to start, start with a small list of good things you want for life, no limits. At this stage don't even consider taking out porn and other harmful habits, it will happen naturally as your life becomes filled with great things. You can start fighting then when you've gathered ammunition.



    If you're already there and your life isn't as bad as mine was then I'd say create a schedule of things to do like, Monday Chess night with friends, Thursdays Basketball night, Wednesdays Bible Study, Saturdays Hiking with friends. For me it's all about preemptive strikes.



    If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.



    Right now, plan how it is you'll overcome!
     
  4. IGY

    IGY Guest

    What I appreciate about you most is how you reach out to help other people. Even your personal journey is written in such a way that it is enjoyable, enriching and uplifting to read. I am convinced that you have a good, warm heart. What you did when you relapsed earlier is not the real YOU. Those desires, actions and outcomes are symptomatic of the addictions you have. For the most part, you are awesome at controlling your sexual desires. Today was a blip. Today wasn't, YOU because YOU ARE AWESOME! Big hug matey! :)
     
  5. Nate007

    Nate007 Fapstronaut

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    thank you so much for the encouragement guys! its just what i needed! my biggest problem after a relapse is guilt, i feel guilty and i feel like i disrespected people i see in my daily life, especially women in my life. so now my days pretty normal except that i have a gnawing guilty feeling in my head that i find myself trying to run away from.

    and i wish i could just be my PMO free self all the time IGY
     
  6. Ronin

    Ronin Fapstronaut

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    Just as Klahhh said - you must learn from your relapses, but whatever you do, the most important thing is to not focus on the post-relapse dissappointment...build a total hate towards the addiction...think of it as something that is messing with your mind, as if it were a drug. The only way to better yourself is quitting right? Don't ever search porn - EVER! You will tell yourself just a little image won't hurt, but that never works, because the end result is always the same...and you know that deep down.
    Even while on the street, you might want to stare at some ladies ass...again...try to turn away especially in the first 30 days of quitting PMO.
    Like all addictions, when you stop doing it, you'll have withdrawal symptoms, they will keep growing till they will reach a hiatus, and then mellow out. In time, you won't even feel the need to do it anymore - just read the experiences from succesfull 90-day Fapstronauts and you'll see.
    Fallen 7 times? Get up 7 times...fallen 99999 times, then get up 99999 times damnit!
    Tho the number of falls must be reduced to nothing...

    We can beat this...
     
  7. Nate007

    Nate007 Fapstronaut

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  8. Ronin

    Ronin Fapstronaut

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    You are welcome! In case you'd like even more advice, talk to Dawkin too. He is almost 2 weeks clear and personally told me to make it 30 days with him. (we give advice and share our daily progress to each other)

    I'm curious, how long did you manage to hold out? Was it since you made your account on nofap.org or a longer time ago?
    The most I ever held out was 12-13 days and that was almost 4 years ago.
     
  9. Nate007

    Nate007 Fapstronaut

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    well, i joined in march, went about two weeks, then relapsed and continued to masturbate once a week until, early may (late april), n early may i went 12 days then relapsed completely (porn and masturbation) then i started seriously keeping a journal on here and managed 23 days, until yesterday when i relapsed again.
     
  10. adriatik28

    adriatik28 Fapstronaut

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    hey there. let me give you a big hug first. its not your fault what happened, and the guilt is there. take it one day at a time and when the urge comes, think of how far you've come. every minute and hour counts. don't compare yourself with others is also something i tell to myself. we've got our own stories to write and accomplishments to share.

    more power to you. you're not alone in this one.
     
  11. Nate007

    Nate007 Fapstronaut

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    Thankyou for the hug, we all need them sometimes :) and it is extremely important for me not to compare myself to others, hard but important.
     
  12. Ronin

    Ronin Fapstronaut

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    Wow man, that's one heck of a journey...23 days? you were only one week shy from a month.

    Still, don't worry, just think about your progress, fill your time, even if you are lazy to "improve yourself" just do something that is seemingly "useless" like taking a walk, napping, chatting with someone on the phone, etc. it is better than relapsing either way.

    Good luck, and keep up the fight.
     
  13. Scooter B

    Scooter B Fapstronaut

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    The fact you are reaching out shows you are improving and determined to reach your goals. None of us here are perfect, but as long as you try your best in whatever you do, and learn along the way or from any mistakes you make, that is all anyone can ask from you. Just put your best foot forward and you will do just fine.

    When I start getting the urges to relapse, I try first to get away from the computer and then try to find something else to do. I find that if I can get out of the house when those urges are the worst, that is even better. Walks help a lot or even going out for a ride. If late at night and can't go anywhere, I will do some cleaning, and I hate cleaning! but it keeps me occupied.

    So stay strong and just do your best. We are all here for you! :)
     
  14. Dawkin

    Dawkin Fapstronaut

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    Hey buddy, pick yourself up. Life has so much to offer. Use your days and make the most out of them. Yes, falling sucks, but we MUST get back up or else we will stay down. You will rise above this. You will eventually stay away from PMO not because you have to, but because you want to. You will hate it and reject it like something you can't eat because you are allergic to it. Train your mind to control your thoughts by filling it with other thoughts. Push that crap to the back of your mind and eventually out of your brain altogether. It is not easy, the urge will always be lurking to come back up but don't give ANY air to the fire let it die out.

    We're all struggling, but we're all fighting so let's fight for one another and with one another!!!
     
  15. Nate007

    Nate007 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks so much for the words of encouragement and advice @Dawkin and @Scooter B. It sure helps a lot. My journey is so much better with people like you helping me out!
     

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