Someone help

I guess we can add "loss of all punctuation" to the symptoms of flatlining.

I'm joking.

I'm sure you're probably expecting this, but I would encourage you to choose positive activities before you feel like doing them. Hang out with friends, exercise, read a good book, whatever. You might not feel like it, but just do it. Your brain needs to learn how to get dopamine from the simpler pleasures of life and not rely on the super-euphoric highs of PMO.

Depending on how long you've been using PMO, and how severely you were using it, it may take you longer to reboot than someone who's been using less. Just give yourself a little more grace and time. You can do it.

 

I can respect and appreciate that.

The problem is that when you get a good streak of sobriety like you've got now, and then you relapse, it can tend to have a powerful effect that ends up making you binge much worse that you did before. It's partially why so many drug addicts end up OD'ing when they use after a long streak of being clean. The hit to the brain is so euphoric and electric after being deprived for so long that it just wants hit after hit after hit.

I can't encourage you enough to stay the course.

Think about your life when you were using porn and masturbating 2x a day. Did you feel good about life? Did you feel good about yourself? All the things you mentioned--studying, being sociable, learning a new language, etc ... were you doing those things at your current level when you were on PMO 2x a day?

Don't let the addiction fool you into thinking those were great times. Life always looks more fun and exciting on the other side. I saw a meme once that showed two lawns, side by side with a fence between them. One lawn was gorgeous, green and lush ... the other was brown and dead. The meme said, "sometimes the grass on the other side looks greener because it's fake." Porn has nothing to offer you. It's an illusion.