Someone read this

Hi Mick5643,
we all crave affection and want to decrease the loneliness we feel. That's normal even if hard to talk about.

You can practice stuff that would make you more confident around girls and people in general. I'm not really attractive, more like normal-looking yet I managed to get desired attention from girls and then some.

I bet the game differs for everyone but I would advise starting talking with people that you find attractive or awesome, men or women, but not to hook up or to create a romantic scenario, just to connect. The friendly dude approach was always easier for me than normal dating, which is too awkward for me to enjoy.

As for online dating, there shouldn't be any stigma around it, but I know there is. Try not to let anyone know, and you should be fine.

Take care

 

Hey man,

I haven't had lots of success with women and sometimes feel kind of like you do. If you want to share anything more specific about your emotional issues maybe we can help.

If not, I'm assuming that you have boiled it down to a lack of confidence. Sounds as if you are expecting something from yourself and you're not living up to it, hence the insecurity. How do you talk to yourself?

 

I've been there. I think the issue with self talk is not so much about staying positive, but rather remaining respectful and honest to yourself. If something bad happens to you, or you mess up, or you have wishes and wants that you can't fulfill right now, you need to accept that, and also the fact that negative emotions will come up during these moments.

If you are present and accepting of these things instead of "internally pushing yourself to act/feel a certain way" you may start to find your negative emotions less troublesome.

 

Get used to positive self-talk then.
Also, delete all social media if you have it. Look at things the way they are. And understand - everyone can be loved/will be loved. All that matters is time. It will pass by and heal wounds, help you a lot.
And yes - good self talk does not happen within one day. It's been like 4 months since I really started talking positively to myself - yet - I struggle with it once in a while.

 

Becareful , im also good looming strong and fit and i got addicted to sexting because of dating apps

 

You gotta get out of your head with thinking that you don’t deserve love.

Also, you’ll need to put yourself out there and start talking to women. It doesn’t matter if at first it’s awkward and you fall on your face a few times.

 

Apps are a trap. Talk to real people. Apps activate the same tech-space in your head that all other screen shit does. Only real people will bring you out of yourself.

 

Read Feeling Good by David Burns. It's all about managing your internal dialogue and negative thought patterns. It's been a lifesaver for me. The techniques are simple, rational and once you start practicing them you will get fast results and have the skills at your fingertips for the rest of your life. Also A Guide to Rational Living by Albert Ellis is very very good. Look up some of his other titles too. The man was brilliant and his work is powerful. Everyone should read them IMHO. Sounds like you're already having success at self improvement so mega congratulations. Nofap and self improvement in general are not for the faint of heart. I hope you find these books as useful as I did.

 

Do what I did last night - go to a real bar, preferably where there is live music, and start making the rounds. I met eyes with a masked cutie and wiggled my pinkie finger at her, and she wiggled hers back. Met up in the parking lot later on, talked a bit, knew I could ask her to cuddle with me or at least exchange information, but decided I am less than 2 weeks into NoFap and passed. If I continue to go out, I know I will see this person around, it's a small town. Maybe next time.

It beat the ever-lovin' fuck out of being on a dating website and sending 30 PMs to 30 women in three months, and not one reply. I simply don't do well on those sites. My magic must be experienced in person. Last night I went out not only to see my friend play a set of music, but to talk to women and possibly arrange a cuddle. Not sex - a cuddle, no pressure, just two people lying down and being quiet and still with each other. One can always get laid. But I want something deeper. And I'm a slow mover. How many more broken hearts do I have left in me?

Anyway, yea, do it live. Just fucking do it. Apps are for the birds.

PS Women, after this year, are lonely and horny and want touch, too. So they are looking for you as well.

 

Well the method I use is negative talk to the negative talker when my mind makes some negative self talk I argue against it and say "You a fucking idiot" and tell him to go fuck himself
That's my method at least IDK if it'll be good for you or even for me in the long run