Someone who I love love porn~

Hej, je mi ľúto, že nehovorím o tvojom jazyku. Môžem hovoriť poľsky a anglicky. Prešli ste strašnou situáciou. Je mi naozaj ľúto, že sa s tým musíš vyrovnať. A vaše angličtina je dobrá, veľmi pochopiteľná!

Kliknite na týchto používateľov - sú to ženy, ktoré trpia ako vy.

@Numb
@AnonymousAnnaXOXO
@BetrayedMermaid

Dúfam, že môžete získať dobré rady a podporu. Zostaň silný.

Počkajte / Trzymaj się / Take care

 

It's very brave of you to be here. These users have had very similar experiences. I hope you will feel better soon. Take care.

 

I'm sorry you are going through this. Does he admit that he is an addict? Is he trying to recover/reboot? It is a very hard thing to go through. For me, my boyfriend and I are still together and we support each other. It is still hard at times but is getting better with time and understanding. Remember, this is not about you. His porn addiction isn't because of you, your looks or what you do for him. It is his addiction and he likely had it before ever meeting you. I know I still struggle with that and sometimes I still get caught up in the whole 'if only I was better/prettier/fill in the blank'. But I don't let myself dwell on that, it doesn't help anyone to do so.

 

@Citadelle, len buďte úprimní o svojich pocitoch. Povedz všetko. Odídem, aby ste mohli plne hovoriť. Hovorte aj s ostatnými. Počkajte.

Thanks for your help @Numb. Really appreciate it. Hope you are both doing OK.

 

I think the addict opening up to someone is important. Whether their SO, a therapist or someone else. I think it would be much harder to get clean and stay clean without some support. I know many guys are reluctant to open up and want to fight things on their own. It can be so frustrating sometimes. It is not a weakness to have and show emotions. It takes more strength to open up and admit to your struggles. I wish they could see that.
The reason I am still he is that he is being open and has been clean. He says he wants to stay that way and I will do what I can to help. We have been through a lot together, both good and bad and as long as he is willing and honest I will continue to fight for us. But it took nearly destroying us to get to that point. It has been a long painful road to get where we are now. So many lies, broken promises, so much pain. I feel broken sometimes and I know I will never be the same. But it is his support and willingness to listen to me, to hear the despair I've gone through. And still do sometimes. I know that hearing these things causes him pain, but he is facing it and that shows me a lot. If he wasn't doing these things I don't know what I would be doing, but I do know I wouldn't be able to stay.
For you I don't know what to say. You are in a hard place. If you want to try to work out your relationship let him know that, tell him want you need straight out. Don't hint or assume he knows what you mean, trust me he doesn't. Be blunt. If he is unwilling to help you and himself it may be better for you to get out. Have you read up on betrayal trauma? You may benefit from seeing a therapist for yourself. It is hard but keep reminding yourself that his addiction has nothing to do with you, it likely started before he ever knew you. I know my boyfriend was a PA long before we met. He tells me that he can see where it has gotten in the way of his life before we met. The problems it has caused. Things that he would have thought were unrelated to porn. But knowing it has nothing to do with me doesn't always stop those thoughts. I don't let myself dwell on them like I once did. I try to stay busy, keep my mind occupied. Reading, writing, drawing, video games. The weather is getting nicer here so more time outside, taking my dog for walks. I've started yoga and that helps surprisingly well, and I am feeling better physically too from that. If the thoughts intrude despite all of that I will look around where I am and just name items I see. Sounds stupid but it works for me. If all that doesn't work I will talk to my BF about it, or just write it down in a notebook I have. If that thought still bothers me the next day I will bring it up to him.
Other people may have better suggestions for dealing with this, I know I am not the healthiest when it comes to mental health. I have very bad anxiety that I have had as long as I can remember. And very little self esteem, combine those and I am surprised I am doing as well as I am.
Wow, wrote more than I meant to. I hope I answered some of your questions and didn't overwhelm you. Good luck, remember to take care of yourself mentally and physically.

 

Thank you for tagging me about this. We are good, some days are better than others but working together to get through it all. I hope you are doing well too.

 

So glad to know you're both still fighting. Well done. Maybe one day I can get your input on my own situation. Keep going.

 

Feel free to message me any time you'd like.