Something i Want to Tell you All (Motivation)

Sardonic · Oct 23, 2018

I visited this forum just now because I planned on making a thread which I hoped might help me make sense of a difficult situation I find myself in... And I found this thread which helped, so thanks.

Deleted Account · Oct 27, 2018

Theultimatefighter_21 said: ↑

Hello Fapstronauts! i'm really sorry for my horrible English, but i will try anyway.

"My life would be SO much better if i had a Girlfriend..."

You probably already said that. Yeah, me too, and many times, but recently i finally came to a realization, and i think this tought is something to be spread.

Getting a Girl... Why is that idea so deeply caved in our minds? Maybe because we're lonely? Maybe because we're really THAT needy of love and care? No... That's not the answer.

I've always failed... Every single attempt to do NoFap was a failure for me, and i couldn't understand why. I was so motivated, and even like that...

But, after so much time and so many failures, i came to a conclusion... The Girls were "doing that to me".

How? Well, all my attempts had only one main basis: Getting a Girl. I always did it with the tought of getting a girlfriend. Well, i've been lonely since i know myself as human, and it's completely natural to want some companion, but in my case, it was sickening. I wanted that... I wanted someone that would love me so badly... And that's why i always relapsed... Over and over again. As soon as i could notice that the girls weren't looking specially to me or anything, i gave up... I was so broken inside.

I could see this, but i couldn't see in which part i was wrong. I was doing the right thing, but in the wrong way. And then, one day, in the silence and thinking about the failure i was, i finally came to a conclusion.

You don't want a girl. You don't want to love someone. You want something that heals your pain.

Exactly. All this time, i wasn't looking around for a girlfriend. I was looking for the "pills to heal my pain". I didn't wanted to love someone. I just wanted a place to rest my head. And soon i started to think: "Okay, now you got a girlfriend... And then? What are you going to do? Do you really love her? Is your life going to change in any way?" There were many "No s" as answers.

I realized that getting a girl wouldn't change anything. It would only make my situation worse. She wouldn't heal my wound, even because that's impossible, and my life would be even more messed up than before, because now, i would have the weight of her feelings in my back, and i couldn't simply hurt and discart her after discovering she wasn't the key. The only one who can do it is myself.

I'm the only one that can heal my own pain. I'm the medicine to my own sickness. And, after realizing that, i changed my goals.

Before: "I want to become the 'Chick Magnet'".

Now: "I want to become the '2.0' version of myself".

You cannot do it for anyone esle than yourself. You'll just fail if you do that. Invest in yourself: Become Smarter, Communicative, Happier... Make every day a new day. Do the things you always wanted to. Stop being so needy and be yourself! Do something about this pain and see how it happens. You are better than that and you know you are! And soon or later, the right person will appear.

But please... Stop involving other person in the process.
Click to expand...

Excellent post. Thanks!

hurt_ · Oct 27, 2018

Theultimatefighter_21 said: ↑

I realized that getting a girl wouldn't change anything. It would only make my situation worse. She wouldn't heal my wound, even because that's impossible, and my life would be even more messed up than before, because now, i would have the weight of her feelings in my back, and i couldn't simply hurt and discart her after discovering she wasn't the key. The only one who can do it is myself.
Click to expand...

This is so true. When I didn't have a girlfriend I was convinced that if I did I wouldn't have anymore porn problems or at least it would be easy to forget about porn and not use it anymore. Instead like you say the weight of her feelings are on top of me as well as porn and seeing her sad when I struggle makes me sad too and makes it easier for porn to creep in. Like everyone else is saying a girlfriend isn't the answer you have to work on yourself and be happy and not rely on someone else to change you.

? ? ? · Nov 5, 2018

Theultimatefighter_21 said: ↑

Hello Fapstronauts! i'm really sorry for my horrible English, but i will try anyway.

"My life would be SO much better if i had a Girlfriend..."

You probably already said that. Yeah, me too, and many times, but recently i finally came to a realization, and i think this tought is something to be spread.

Getting a Girl... Why is that idea so deeply caved in our minds? Maybe because we're lonely? Maybe because we're really THAT needy of love and care? No... That's not the answer.

I've always failed... Every single attempt to do NoFap was a failure for me, and i couldn't understand why. I was so motivated, and even like that...

But, after so much time and so many failures, i came to a conclusion... The Girls were "doing that to me".

How? Well, all my attempts had only one main basis: Getting a Girl. I always did it with the tought of getting a girlfriend. Well, i've been lonely since i know myself as human, and it's completely natural to want some companion, but in my case, it was sickening. I wanted that... I wanted someone that would love me so badly... And that's why i always relapsed... Over and over again. As soon as i could notice that the girls weren't looking specially to me or anything, i gave up... I was so broken inside.

I could see this, but i couldn't see in which part i was wrong. I was doing the right thing, but in the wrong way. And then, one day, in the silence and thinking about the failure i was, i finally came to a conclusion.

You don't want a girl. You don't want to love someone. You want something that heals your pain.

Exactly. All this time, i wasn't looking around for a girlfriend. I was looking for the "pills to heal my pain". I didn't wanted to love someone. I just wanted a place to rest my head. And soon i started to think: "Okay, now you got a girlfriend... And then? What are you going to do? Do you really love her? Is your life going to change in any way?" There were many "No s" as answers.

I realized that getting a girl wouldn't change anything. It would only make my situation worse. She wouldn't heal my wound, even because that's impossible, and my life would be even more messed up than before, because now, i would have the weight of her feelings in my back, and i couldn't simply hurt and discart her after discovering she wasn't the key. The only one who can do it is myself.

I'm the only one that can heal my own pain. I'm the medicine to my own sickness. And, after realizing that, i changed my goals.

Before: "I want to become the 'Chick Magnet'".

Now: "I want to become the '2.0' version of myself".

You cannot do it for anyone esle than yourself. You'll just fail if you do that. Invest in yourself: Become Smarter, Communicative, Happier... Make every day a new day. Do the things you always wanted to. Stop being so needy and be yourself! Do something about this pain and see how it happens. You are better than that and you know you are! And soon or later, the right person will appear.

But please... Stop involving other person in the process.
Click to expand...

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Something i Want to Tell you All (Motivation)

Sardonic Fapstronaut

Deleted Account Guest

hurt_ Fapstronaut

? ? ? Fapstronaut

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