Something I'm considering would like to hear thoughts

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Mankrik, Mar 26, 2018.

  1. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

    I feel like I'm in a pretty good spot right now. Feeling good working out eating right starting back on nofap and everything is looking up. There is something I keep thinking about and hopefully you guys can talk me out of it.

    I want to buy a Fleshlight or more specifically a onahole and use it in moderation without porn. I have a healthy view of women and am not addicted to porn. I am rewired and completed a successful reboot. I keep trying to justify this as a way to experience pleasure and build up my stamina for when I find a partner. Is this reasonable and something that will help me or is it something that's going to undo my progress? Btw I'm 18 and am still a virgin.

    I am committed to finding a girlfriend and not going back to my old habits. This purchase may seem like a step in the wrong direction but I think it could help me relieve some stress and bring me some pleasure without causing any harm. I'm confident I can stay away from porn and this could be something positive in my life before I find intimacy with a partner. I don't think this will discourage me from finding a girlfriend because I really want someone in my life to love outside of just sex. If this is dellusional and a terrible mistake let me know. I just feel like it might be ok to start enjoying some pleasure in moderation and develop my stamina. Nofap has been great for me but I'm reluctant to keep abstaining like this and am not sure what my goals are any more. I know myself and what I want and am free from my vices; I'm not sure if depriving myself of some healthy masturbation is still benefitting me. Please feel free to weigh in here and tell me what you think about this.
  2. No. Fucking a plastic toy is just that. It will not make you a better lover. To do that you need to have a relationship with a real person.

    Save your money. Stop PMOing. Ask a girl on a proper date. See where it goes.
    HipPete and Mankrik like this.
  3. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

    Yeah thats the truth. Been patient and courageous but still haven't found the right person. Feels discouraging sometimes but that's the right path and fucking a plastic toy has no place in any of this.
  4. Timeon

    Timeon Fapstronaut

    Helen Keller was once asked, "What is worse than being blind?"
    She said, "To have sight without vision."
    If you have no goals, you have no vision. Vision is the mental picture of your future that is absolutely forceful enough to mold your present situation. Life without vision is just an experiment. Sorry to say this but everything from the mention of "Fleshlight" and down is going the wrong direction.
    HipPete, sev94 and Mankrik like this.
  5. ukbritishbloke

    ukbritishbloke Fapstronaut

    Bad idea. That would really not help you develop any skill or stamina that would be helpful with a woman.
  6. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    I'm not going to tell you what you should do, but I have some questions:
    1. Why do you think that using this toy would be any better than using your hand?
    2. It's just a piece of plastic after all, what's so interesting about it anyway? I'm really curious because I've always looked down upon such toys. I think it's just a waste of money and another way to embarrass yourself if someone will find it.
    3. Assuming you're asking this because you think there is some risk, do you think it worts that risk?
    Mankrik and Gmork like this.
  7. Gmork

    Gmork Fapstronaut

    I have to back up what everybody else has already posted.

    However, I will add that there is a hugely fetishised genre in fleshlights, or similar toys.
    You could perhaps just be substituting porn with an equally unhealthy outlet.
    Additionally, it will not build stamina, and potentially contribute to erectile disfunctions.
    Hitto and Vulkan like this.
  8. Think of that hundred bux or whatever it costs as a couple of dates. Think of 15 minute increments that you'll spend with the toy as time lost talking to women. Energy flows where your attention goes, so focus on meeting women. Pleasure will come naturally, go seek that instead of plastic. That's just my 2 cents.
    Hitto and Mankrik like this.
  9. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

    1. I'm not sure but the reviews say it is great and way better than using your hand. Also probably tmi but I could thrust into it and cum inside without making a mess.
    2. It's made to be just like a real vagina that you can use at any time you want. It gets tighter and tighter towards the end and has a special grooved pattern inside. I think it would be interesting and pleasurable to try.
    3. As far as the risk of someone finding it or the risk of me going back to porn and no longer trying to talk to real girls - I don't think either of those things are likely to happen. I'm not ashamed of it or worried it's going to cause me to go back to porn or objectify women. I genuinely see it as a fun way to relieve some stress and feel good.

    All that being said it's just not me. I don't want to be someone that has to rely on a toy to get off even if it's temporary. I want to be in a long term mutual relationship with trust and understanding and be able to love someone outside of sex and lose my virginity when the time is right. I have to be patient and disciplined but it will be worth it. I need to find a real connection. This would be a band aid on a wound that needs stitches. I need to get out there and find my soulmate instead of staying insimy room with a rubber pussy.
    HipPete likes this.
  10. HipPete

    HipPete Fapstronaut

    I fell into that loophole at your age. Let me tell you it's so not worth it. It definitely turned me craving more and more. I started from these Tenga eggs to the Fleshlight to Japanese relistic feel ones to sex doll. Don't do it, you'll never be satisfied. I started out of curiosity and loneliness too.
    There nothing to do now but to built a better self image to attract the things you want in life.
    Mankrik likes this.
  11. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

    Yeah this is how I have been looking at it and why I have been trying so hard to stay away from it. It's only getting in the way of me getting out and finding that natural pleasure.
  12. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    I'm sure it feels better than the real thing, but isn't that a problem? For me, the porn use is problematic exactly because it is more favorable in some respects, namely: availability, low risks, and higher stimulation. This is why I got into that trap of addiction. It's just more pleasurable and easy than going outside, trying to find a real woman to have sex with. This is why I am still a virgin (30+ yo), I simply killed my motivation to do anything to make my sexual life happen. Do you not feel like you're about to do the same with yourself?

    That sounds like a way to kill your sensitivity and develop problems with achieving orgasms normal way. Death grip 2.0!

    I don't want to be a negative Nancy here, but I'm afraid that addictions are incurable, according to modern medicine. That is both a scientific fact and my personal experience. (I'm a member of Narcotics Anonymous for 4+ years now, and it seems like I will be for the rest of my life.) So, what makes you think you're safe?

    That's the spirit! :cool:
    Gmork and Mankrik like this.

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