Does your wife struggle with change? Mine does, she can't ever make a decision. I've felt similarly as you in this, I do see that I've been unfair expecting her to either fix it all, or split up. She won't say it but if she was fully honest. If I asked her how to fix this. I think she'd say I wish we could just stay together and have had you never be addicted to P. Being a male who likes to fix things, I struggle with that, because I can't change this. It's definitely hard. Yes, and in the end that's really the only option we have. My wife has trauma from before me too, sometimes it does come out and I have felt it isn't necessarily right, it's feels like I get the brunt of all of what I did, plus everyone else too. I've struggled to pull back my feelings there and let her have hers. I'm trying to do a better job of understanding how she feels. Rather than tell her, she's wrong for always taking it out on me. IDK, I guess it's a work in progress.