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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by EndPornLiveLife, Jan 27, 2021.
Checking in Day two, Dark Angles
Day 2 checking in.
Checking in. Getting my head on straight but I am seeing the seeds motivation appearing.
I had a lead set of space marines from 20+ years ago. I never painted them or played the game. I think I threw them out the last time I moved, but if not I'm going to paint them this year.
Day 2 check in for Blood Angels, decided against the early morning run - it's tipping down with rain and it has been super cold here so there'd probably be slick ice everywhere, whereas I kinda want to stay alive
AND WE ARE LIVE! Big thanks to @EndPornLiveLife for continuing to host this challenge! Day 1, checking in for the Black Templars!
@T0mCrus4der bruh...it took me this long to realize your name is a pun on Tom Cruise.
Me looking at all the things we're going to avoid this month:
Check in for the black templars.
Day 2 checking in for Space Wolves
A premise: the battle/war/fight is just one among many ways to mentally and narratively represent the removal of porn from our lives. I don't believe you necessarily have to conceptualize it as a brutal (yet epic) struggle; it was just the frame that suited best the meme template.
Checking in Dark Angels
Its getting tougher. The power of super strongly built habit really sucks, when you want to change that motherfucker.
Just need to battle it out!
Fascinating. I have always been fascinated by Theology and religions at large. Your perspective was inspiring, thank you.
Thank you Mya. I find a lot of truth in your words.
By the way, I do exercise and dedicate a large part of my daily workouts to legs. I will keep an eye on the reaction of my body to the stimulation of the exercise: maybe I will find a connection, who knows.
So much great stuff going on in here. I'm surrounded by the roar of my Space Marine brothers and sisters...
Added to teams:
@Better version of myself
Blood Angels (wanting one more)
@Gtweet Thanks for your offer of team flexibility, I appreciate it. I'm gonna hold off putting you in a team for another day or two if that's okay? I may end up putting you in the Blood Angels which is down a member, but will wait and see if anyone else joins BA first.
Checking in. I had my first day and night of classes for the year today. It's been ~12 years since I last studied maths, so jumping straight into the 4th class of Engineering Maths was a bit taxing on the ol' brain brain, but I enjoyed it.
Apologies if I was preaching to the choir. You sound far better prepared than I am @Gonarth. I'm also keen to hear your rehearsed relapse prevention strategy if you're willing to share (or is it in your old NF journal?). I had never even considered regularly rehearsing my strategy in my head as a daily task, and I feel stupid saying so!
"unable to positively release the anxiety", "My head is quivering with thoughts" Goodness, this is such an accurate description for what goes on in my head...thanks for sharing.
If you're interested in meditation, here's my two cents. Even when it has often felt like "it didn't work" or "I couldn't do it right", overall with regular use I'm convinced that it has had some positive effects for me.
When I first started meditating regularly, I really liked this album, particularly the track titles which begin with "Guided Meditation".
There are lots of guided meditations on Spotify - whatever seems helpful to you.
I've now moved to Sam Harris' "Waking Up" app which was recommended to me on here. He's got a whole program of 10 minute meditations on there where he introduces some of the concepts of meditation as part of each session. Can recommend.
I hope I get to see this...
Day 2 Checking in-Blood Angels
Checking in for Blood Angels.
Studying for a exam that I have on 7th so I am gonna be busy for few days but I will manage time to post here.
I think this chapter I am a Lieutenant.
More power to Space Wolfes!!!
God is in control!
..almost forgot about this firreee song
Below I outline my relapse prevention strategy
When I have the urges to watch porn or fap :
Step 1. Delay
Set a timer for 20 minutes and during this period do not attempt to watch porn or fap. Urges usually disappear in 20 minutes or less. Thus, delay my decision to relapse by just 20 minutes.
Step 2. Deep Breathing
Take deep breaths- 10 deep breaths at a minimum until my heart rate normalizes.
Step 3. Deconstruct
Ask, what has led to me being at this point in time. Is it a physical or emotional trigger? If an emotional trigger ask why I feel this way? Retrace my steps or events that have led to this point.
Step 4. Distract
Read my positive motivational statements and reasons why I avoid PMO. Do other activities that will serve as a distraction such as reading books, watching comedy, exercise. Visualize myself being happy when I am free of PMO. Recite my affirmations of power.
Step 5. Dedicate
Recommit (read my commitment) to staying clean. Call Bee (girlfriend)
Commitment: I will maintain my eyes pure. I will not watch porn or engage in PMO willingly under any circumstances no matter my emotional state. Porn/PMO is not an option under any given circumstance.
Positive Motivational Statements (very subjective to me)
1. I will develop beautiful qualities such as love, compassion, peace, self-control, kindness, personal interest in others if I walk away from PMO
2. I will have much more energy if I walk away
3. I will have greater motivation to accomplish things if I walk away
4. I will live an honest and authentic life if I walk away
5. I will be fully comfortable with who I am as a person if I walk away.
6. I will develop herculean self-belief if I walk away.
7. I will end my obsession with women and sex once and for all time and concentrate on things that really matter in my life.
8. I will age gracefully rather than very rapidly
9. I will restore much of my health such as my skin and hair if I walk away
10. I will live an independent lifestyle free from other’s expectations weighing on me.
11. I will attract the right kind of people to my life if I walk away
12. I will increase in muscle power and strength if I walk away
13. I will become an Alpha male who is ready to lead others to their betterment rather than a person who gets the leftovers of everything in life if I walk away.
14. I will break 23-year-old chains of addiction if I walk away. Imagine the freedom I will experience when I am scotch free.
15. I will advance in my career if I walk away
16. I will completely release the toxic shame trapped in my body if I walk away
17. My life will have meaning if I walk away
18. I will actually experience happiness by living in the moment if I walk away.
19. I will be able to pursue a relationship with God
20. I will be able to pursue my goal of becoming a digital nomad...to live and work anywhere in the world
21. I will be able to connect with people on a personal level
22. I will be able to become a mentor to others who are dealing with porn addiction issues
23. I will be able to help others overcome depression
24. I will be able to deal with my depression and anxiety issues much better
25. I will be able to fully forgive my father and mother thus moving on from my childhood issues
26. I will stop being a victim, (victimhood mindset) and be a hero taking responsibility for my life
27. The health of my back will improve immensely
28. I will become more assertive, aggressive and competitive
29. I will stop harboring resentment and bitter anger
30. I will become more forgiving
31. I will save so much time.
32. I will be able to appreciate nature more
33. I will cultivate an insatiable will to live
34. I will be able to engage fully in my relationships, be present
35. I will live more mindfully
36. I will be able to cultivate more useful habits in my life
39. I will be able to connect with God.
40. I will be able to fully accept myself
41. I will cultivate better self-esteem and self-respect
42. I will be able to be more confident. More confidence means accomplishing many of my goals
43. I will stop objectifying myself.
44. I will no longer have to worry about my internet footprint or activities.
45. I will no longer have to feel like a fraud or an impostor in my own body.
46. I will accept and appreciate my flaws and weaknesses
Reasons to avoid porn and PMO
1. Hypofrontality- By watching porn I am disabling my mental capacity. My prefrontal cortex capacity is greatly reduced so much so that I don’t have executive function of my brain and my willpower is greatly subdued. I also don’t have the motivation to do anything worthwhile with my life.
2. Erectile dysfunction- I will not be able to rise to the occasion and have normal sex with my partner as my brain will be rewired only to be aroused to pixelated images.
3. Lack of intimacy- I will not care about my significant other’s feelings.
4. Selfishness- I will care only about my own pleasure and just getting off.
5. Viewing women as sexual objects and worshipping them
6. Operating below mediocrity- I will continue to operate below even mediocrity itself
7. Destroy my health- I will destroy my mental, physical and spiritual health.
8. Dark personality- I will develop a dark personality that scares everyone away.
9. Taking advantage of someone else- I am in effect enjoying entertainment at the expense of other people’s suffering. Many people are suffering in porn from deadly mental issues to sexual abuse. Do I want to be part of this?
10.Giving my value away- I am giving my Alpha value and wild nature to become a docile domestic animal.
I think I understand what you are saying. You are reassociating those deadly fantasies with pain/disgust instead of pleasure. Thanks for the suggestion. I still associate porn-related fantasies to pleasure. I need to be cognizant of this.