SSA confessions

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Deleted Account, Oct 20, 2020.

  1. Here’s an honest SSA moment that is troubling me.
    I’m watching an NFL game on tv tonight. I’m not necessarily a football fan, but I stopped on it while flipping channels, and it caught my attention. I can’t help but find my eyes wandering towards the obvious bulges that are on display in these grown men’s tight football pants. I don’t mean to be explicit, but I don’t know how else to say it.
    I don’t find myself arroused or anything, but intrigued, yes.
    I realize that a popular opinion many will have while reading this is that “I’m gay.”.
    While I openly admit to strugglingwith same sex attraction, I don’t and never have identified as gay, because it’s not something that I want for my life. Some also might say then that I am living in denial. I disagree, and I’ll save that discussion for another post.
    So with those things said, can anyone honestly answer these questions...

    Is it normal for me to look?
    Do other guys notice the things that I notice, regardless of sexual preferences?
    Or am I completely encompassed in a group understood only by homosexuals?
    Where does this stem from?

    I try hard to live above reproach sothat I am not tempted with these things that could lead to P or P subsor anything like that. I just wonder if I am alone in this and what to do about it. I can turn the tv off, yes, but I am more curious as to the roots of this strange curiosity, if that’s the right thing to call it.

    I hope this hasn’t been a ramble, and I truly am looking for honestfeedback. If something’s on yourmidnight after this far, say it. Surely I can’t be the only one, but what isgoing on here???
  2. Saythatagain

    Saythatagain Fapstronaut

    KC, I’ve fought SSA since I was abused by my male cousin around the age of 8. It wasn’t forced, it felt good and I had attention. Bad combo overall but I accept it changed my path. I always was too chicken shit to play sports because of feeling inadequate, unacceptable and comparing my penis size to others. Once much later in life did I realize how stood all of that was only then did I relax and open up. I still find moments of insecurities though. So to answer your question, yes I look as well. I’m looking to see if they are wearing jock straps and always looking for VPL. I do it in real life and on the screen. I think in some degree it’s normal and in locker rooms before I’ve noticed others looking. Some more than others and once you have it you can spot it very easily. I have to accept that I’m bisexual and have the really hard choice that but choosing to be with a woman I’m putting a chain on that door. It gets open enough to see who is on the other side but no more. I think others are similar but too scared to really open. Think about it as good we rarely ever discuss what we like to JO to or what we are really thinking out of fear of rejection. Very difficult to be honest because my sexual addiction goes to the guy side and porn, fantasy and masturbation. I’m open to talking if you want to DM me. How this helps you a little.
  3. wow man. Thanks for being so honest and open. I completely relate, although I don’t believe I’ve had any definitive moment that I was victim of such as abuse or anything like that. So understanding the root, is confusing. Yes, I completely agree that all guys have “peeked” at some point in their life in the locker room or at the lou and some more than others. And also about “once you have it, you can spot it easily.
    My addiction also goes to the guy side so I’m thankful to know I am not alone in choosing women, but struggling.
    thank you again.
  4. iwontfail67

    iwontfail67 Fapstronaut

    The way I understand this is that you're subconsciously scanning the screen for anything "gay" that your brain will identify as a threat. Once you notice it and you get an anxiety spike over the fact that you just noticed something that you don't want to notice, and then you can't un-notice it. And the idea of noticing it might get you some sort of extreme pornographic response because you're looking at something that is wrong for you, and that amplifies the shock that goes into your brain. I dunno if you can relate to this, but the majority of these same sex attraction issues for straight porn addicts are usually based around this.
  5. Nutella

    Nutella Fapstronaut

    Not at all. I am not interested in the gender I'm not attracted to like that, and I don't notice attractive features on them, nor does my attention linger on a bulge or something similiar.
  6. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I think what a lot of people dont realise is there are so many different types of overlapping attraction that its easy to cross wires. If you have ever looked at a man and noticed they are attractive in an objective sense, that isnt sexual or romantic attraction, that is "aesthetic" attraction, which is different. For example, you can look at a buff guy in a movie, and acknowledge that they are buff and look good, without wanting to have sex with them or date them, or anything along those lines.

    Beyond even that though, what you are doing here probably doesnt mean anything, and you may easily just be overthinking. I cant say what causes this specifically but this sounds like nothing more than an anxious response that, on some subliminal level, you have conditioned yourself to have.
  7. Pot3bic

    Pot3bic Fapstronaut

    Hey Bro, first and foremost, there's nothing wrong with noticing, but what matters is your reaction and how you handle such things: For me it's impossible not to notice, I am an artist (traditional artist) I work with nude models of different sexes, sizes and physiques, and us artists notice everything, we know the anatomy and what's underneath. Take it from me, it doesn't make you gay!
    I too had issues with same sex attraction, but I realized that it's just the porn since whenever I nut, my SSA is disappeared and I become repelled to such thoughts and ideas, I still am struggling with this but atleast I am aware of the reason why, currently, I label myself as Bisexual but I believe until I'm fully recovered from this addiction, I identify myself as heterosexual, I hope this helps, English isn't my first language

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