Here’s an honest SSA moment that is troubling me. I’m watching an NFL game on tv tonight. I’m not necessarily a football fan, but I stopped on it while flipping channels, and it caught my attention. I can’t help but find my eyes wandering towards the obvious bulges that are on display in these grown men’s tight football pants. I don’t mean to be explicit, but I don’t know how else to say it. I don’t find myself arroused or anything, but intrigued, yes. I realize that a popular opinion many will have while reading this is that “I’m gay.”. While I openly admit to strugglingwith same sex attraction, I don’t and never have identified as gay, because it’s not something that I want for my life. Some also might say then that I am living in denial. I disagree, and I’ll save that discussion for another post. So with those things said, can anyone honestly answer these questions... Is it normal for me to look? Do other guys notice the things that I notice, regardless of sexual preferences? Or am I completely encompassed in a group understood only by homosexuals? Where does this stem from? I try hard to live above reproach sothat I am not tempted with these things that could lead to P or P subsor anything like that. I just wonder if I am alone in this and what to do about it. I can turn the tv off, yes, but I am more curious as to the roots of this strange curiosity, if that’s the right thing to call it. I hope this hasn’t been a ramble, and I truly am looking for honestfeedback. If something’s on yourmidnight after this far, say it. Surely I can’t be the only one, but what isgoing on here???