SSA confessions

KC, I’ve fought SSA since I was abused by my male cousin around the age of 8. It wasn’t forced, it felt good and I had attention. Bad combo overall but I accept it changed my path. I always was too chicken shit to play sports because of feeling inadequate, unacceptable and comparing my penis size to others. Once much later in life did I realize how stood all of that was only then did I relax and open up. I still find moments of insecurities though. So to answer your question, yes I look as well. I’m looking to see if they are wearing jock straps and always looking for VPL. I do it in real life and on the screen. I think in some degree it’s normal and in locker rooms before I’ve noticed others looking. Some more than others and once you have it you can spot it very easily. I have to accept that I’m bisexual and have the really hard choice that but choosing to be with a woman I’m putting a chain on that door. It gets open enough to see who is on the other side but no more. I think others are similar but too scared to really open. Think about it as good we rarely ever discuss what we like to JO to or what we are really thinking out of fear of rejection. Very difficult to be honest because my sexual addiction goes to the guy side and porn, fantasy and masturbation. I’m open to talking if you want to DM me. How this helps you a little.

 

The way I understand this is that you're subconsciously scanning the screen for anything "gay" that your brain will identify as a threat. Once you notice it and you get an anxiety spike over the fact that you just noticed something that you don't want to notice, and then you can't un-notice it. And the idea of noticing it might get you some sort of extreme pornographic response because you're looking at something that is wrong for you, and that amplifies the shock that goes into your brain. I dunno if you can relate to this, but the majority of these same sex attraction issues for straight porn addicts are usually based around this.

 

Not at all. I am not interested in the gender I'm not attracted to like that, and I don't notice attractive features on them, nor does my attention linger on a bulge or something similiar.

 

I think what a lot of people dont realise is there are so many different types of overlapping attraction that its easy to cross wires. If you have ever looked at a man and noticed they are attractive in an objective sense, that isnt sexual or romantic attraction, that is "aesthetic" attraction, which is different. For example, you can look at a buff guy in a movie, and acknowledge that they are buff and look good, without wanting to have sex with them or date them, or anything along those lines.

Beyond even that though, what you are doing here probably doesnt mean anything, and you may easily just be overthinking. I cant say what causes this specifically but this sounds like nothing more than an anxious response that, on some subliminal level, you have conditioned yourself to have.

 

Hey Bro, first and foremost, there's nothing wrong with noticing, but what matters is your reaction and how you handle such things: For me it's impossible not to notice, I am an artist (traditional artist) I work with nude models of different sexes, sizes and physiques, and us artists notice everything, we know the anatomy and what's underneath. Take it from me, it doesn't make you gay!
I too had issues with same sex attraction, but I realized that it's just the porn since whenever I nut, my SSA is disappeared and I become repelled to such thoughts and ideas, I still am struggling with this but atleast I am aware of the reason why, currently, I label myself as Bisexual but I believe until I'm fully recovered from this addiction, I identify myself as heterosexual, I hope this helps, English isn't my first language