Start of my Journal

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Floweringfarmer, Jun 2, 2020.

  1. Had a fun day with my friend! After it my wife was a bit annoying she has this problem to be stressed about everything, work etc even when it's weekend, we talked for a bit try to get her mind to ease. She promised to work on it. I try to help her but dont know how. I tried to be a bit sensual and set off her mind but she wasn't in for it...

    Watching the stars now while drinking a beer!

    Go to bed soon!

    R
     
    JamesTheSquirrel likes this.
  2. Goodmorning,

    Had a good morning

    Wife and I woke up together she was in the mood and Started kissing, we had oral and sex and Both got orgasms.

    We took time and focus on each other this morning. This afternoon will visit some family. It's a relaxed day today. I'm aware I have to watch out for the chaser effect now.

    R
     
    JamesTheSquirrel likes this.
  3. Short update,

    Was doing good, then The weather got hot over here, I live close to the beach so been there a few times, seeing all this girls in bikinis made my already under pressure wicked mind run wild, I relapsed a couple times after that felt I lost control.

    From this weekend 4th of July I'm abstaining again..

    This first weeks are so hard I keep trying! I still believe in this better days I can quit porn forever.
     
  4. Positive note:
    Learning a lot how my mind works on these things and my twisted view on sexuality.
     
  5. 72jbjekapm

    72jbjekapm Fapstronaut

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    I'm coming up on day 60 in a couple days and I honestly feel the best I've felt emotionally in years. My biggest issue I'm having is that I wish me and the wife were having sex more than once a week. We both work opposite shifts and our lives are crazy busy right now. I'm feeling like I'm going to explode, I need to get my release. I'm glad my wife is aware of my situation, but also wish she wasn't so tired and remembers what I'm going through. I stay busy to keep my mind from thinking these thoughts, times are getting rough here. I haven't missed the porn so much, but miss the dopamine high.
     
  6. 72jbjekapm

    72jbjekapm Fapstronaut

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    Honestly don't think I can do this, struggling with depression and want to feel that dopamine rush. I keep thinking after 90 days I'll celebrate by binge pm, how F'd up is that? I told my wife we need to try to have sex 2 times a week, she agrees, but I don't even know if that will help me. I struggled at the grocery store today, looking at women sexually and also imagining me and wife doing things together. I'm so close to giving up, this is one hell of a roller coaster ride and I'm not enjoying the going down part. This is officially my first time trying no PM, and it has went well, but I'm not sure I can keep going.
     

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