Started 90 Reboot - Seems like it will take longer

L

les_625

Fapstronaut
Hello everyone,
After dealing with PMO for 10 years (since I was 11), I stumbled across this website and YBOP and decided that things needed to change. I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I was around 13 or 14, and have been on numerous medications with little effect. If anything, they have compounded the issue. I was also diagnosed by a psychiatrist with ADHD at age 12, a little after I developed this addiction. Overall I am on day 17 with no PMO and I am feeling okay. I do not notice a drastic difference compared to others that I have seen on here, but I do feel hope. It seems that maybe my recovery will take longer than expected, I am hoping this helps with some of my depression/anxiety/ADHD/low self-esteem. However, I feel that my brain fog and depression is kind of worse now for the past few days. Is this normal? Is this working? I am scared that I will not get better and that this will not have an effect on me. I just want to know that not feeling better at this point is normal. The website makes it seem like people notice tangible differences within the first few days, but I have not noticed that yet. Any advice would be great, thanks!
 
les_625 said:
Hello everyone,
After dealing with PMO for 10 years (since I was 11), I stumbled across this website and YBOP and decided that things needed to change. I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I was around 13 or 14, and have been on numerous medications with little effect. If anything, they have compounded the issue. I was also diagnosed by a psychiatrist with ADHD at age 12, a little after I developed this addiction. Overall I am on day 17 with no PMO and I am feeling okay. I do not notice a drastic difference compared to others that I have seen on here, but I do feel hope. It seems that maybe my recovery will take longer than expected, I am hoping this helps with some of my depression/anxiety/ADHD/low self-esteem. However, I feel that my brain fog and depression is kind of worse now for the past few days. Is this normal? Is this working? I am scared that I will not get better and that this will not have an effect on me. I just want to know that not feeling better at this point is normal. The website makes it seem like people notice tangible differences within the first few days, but I have not noticed that yet. Any advice would be great, thanks!
Click to expand...

I think you will find as you get older that most of what you have suffered from will resolve once you put PMO away. I was once diagnosed Bipolar 1 - I was put in the hospital a couple of months after I began PMO at 20. I don't believe in their system. I am healthy in mind, no drugs, no PMO - I put my trust in God for mental stability. You don't have to have the PMO, you don't have to have their drugs - you can walk away and be free. I did it. So can you.
 
les_625 said:
Hello everyone,
After dealing with PMO for 10 years (since I was 11), I stumbled across this website and YBOP and decided that things needed to change. I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I was around 13 or 14, and have been on numerous medications with little effect. If anything, they have compounded the issue. I was also diagnosed by a psychiatrist with ADHD at age 12, a little after I developed this addiction. Overall I am on day 17 with no PMO and I am feeling okay. I do not notice a drastic difference compared to others that I have seen on here, but I do feel hope. It seems that maybe my recovery will take longer than expected, I am hoping this helps with some of my depression/anxiety/ADHD/low self-esteem. However, I feel that my brain fog and depression is kind of worse now for the past few days. Is this normal? Is this working? I am scared that I will not get better and that this will not have an effect on me. I just want to know that not feeling better at this point is normal. The website makes it seem like people notice tangible differences within the first few days, but I have not noticed that yet. Any advice would be great, thanks!
Click to expand...
It's slow progress that's for sure. I find I get peaks and troughs, but generally I feel better as I continue. One thing I do notice personally is that my brain fog clears and I find my libido goes soaring up and I get a lot more confidence in talking to people especially girls. It might not be the same for everyone but I'd suggest persevering, it can't hurt to try.
 
les_625 said:
Hello everyone,
After dealing with PMO for 10 years (since I was 11), I stumbled across this website and YBOP and decided that things needed to change. I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I was around 13 or 14, and have been on numerous medications with little effect. If anything, they have compounded the issue. I was also diagnosed by a psychiatrist with ADHD at age 12, a little after I developed this addiction. Overall I am on day 17 with no PMO and I am feeling okay. I do not notice a drastic difference compared to others that I have seen on here, but I do feel hope. It seems that maybe my recovery will take longer than expected, I am hoping this helps with some of my depression/anxiety/ADHD/low self-esteem. However, I feel that my brain fog and depression is kind of worse now for the past few days. Is this normal? Is this working? I am scared that I will not get better and that this will not have an effect on me. I just want to know that not feeling better at this point is normal. The website makes it seem like people notice tangible differences within the first few days, but I have not noticed that yet. Any advice would be great, thanks!
Click to expand...
The first week is very tough. Then, it's very up and down for weeks 2-4. After one full month of no PMO, you should start to feel different. Beyond that, I can't really tell you as I'm on day 39 so I'm in that next phase after completing a month. I'll let you know though. Thanks for sharing.
 
Skyfall1125 said:
The first week is very tough. Then, it's very up and down for weeks 2-4. After one full month of no PMO, you should start to feel different. Beyond that, I can't really tell you as I'm on day 39 so I'm in that next phase after completing a month. I'll let you know though. Thanks for sharing.
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That seems reasonable. I will hold on. I am tired of letting PMO have control on my life and I am willing to quit even if it is tough. I hope someday soon I can look on the other side and say I am a better man.
 
Twickers said:
It's slow progress that's for sure. I find I get peaks and troughs, but generally I feel better as I continue. One thing I do notice personally is that my brain fog clears and I find my libido goes soaring up and I get a lot more confidence in talking to people especially girls. It might not be the same for everyone but I'd suggest persevering, it can't hurt to try.
Click to expand...
I will do that. I am glad to hear that about the brain fog. I am trying my best so I will just hold on. Thanks!
 
countitjoy5 said:
I think you will find as you get older that most of what you have suffered from will resolve once you put PMO away. I was once diagnosed Bipolar 1 - I was put in the hospital a couple of months after I began PMO at 20. I don't believe in their system. I am healthy in mind, no drugs, no PMO - I put my trust in God for mental stability. You don't have to have the PMO, you don't have to have their drugs - you can walk away and be free. I did it. So can you.
Click to expand...
That is honestly the most encouraging thing I have heard. I have GAD and MDD and ADHD and I do not want to give up and say I am a product of my biology and will always be this way. Thank you for your encouragement! I have had a hard time putting my trust in God for this because I cannot let go of the shame but I will hold on. Thank you!
 
I am generally just wondering how much my medications are impacting my recovery time. I definitely think my SSRI is numbing me emotionally but idk if right now is the right time to stop; the withdrawals are awful.
 
les_625 said:
That seems reasonable. I will hold on. I am tired of letting PMO have control on my life and I am willing to quit even if it is tough. I hope someday soon I can look on the other side and say I am a better man.
Click to expand...
Good on you buddy. Stay resolute in this. Come to this board for support. Find peace in knowing that the physical urges to PMO will go away even in the present. You just need to let them fade. Over time, you get better at handling that. There is hope buddy. 10+ year addict here and this is by far my longest streak, but it took 2 years of failure to get to a 39 day streak.
 
I think it's fair to say the different experiences people feel throughout the recovery process is most likely proportional to how intense their PMO habit was. Someone who indulged in the dark arts several times a day is more likely to notice some drastic reactions than someone who only viewed/used it once a week. Everyone is at a different place in their lives and self-esteem when they choose to stop the habit, so everyone gets there own advent calendar of growth!

Also at a certain point along the journey abstaining becomes more normal to your body than indulging, at which point there are probably going to be less noticeable changes as there's just less left to change. Then its time for other ventures or goals to take the place and give us the confidence boosts and accomplished feeling that the NoFap counter once provided.
 
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