Started dating a girl. What about NoFap?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Ocean Man, Feb 22, 2017.

  1. Ocean Man

    Ocean Man Fapstronaut

    Hey mates!

    Hope you are all doing fairly well and that everything is fine.
    So I started a small chemistry with this girl (I have liked her since 9th grade) and finally we get together on an evening and she confesses to me that she likes me. I instantly melted. But she said she hated dating and that if I expected things to go faster, that I had to wait. I kind of understand her, she previously dated and things ended quickly. I guess that's something good, as that means she is probably looking for a more stable relationship. (Almost as she is trying to play safe).

    Regardless, she told me that even if we are dating , that we are not a couple, that I am not her boyfriend yet.

    So I turns out that you date a person before, and then you become a coulpe. Did not know that.

    Well I can say, this is pretty nice, I have never dated someone!

    Sadly I relapsed, I was like, taken by the moment.
    I did not see her today, but I see her tomorrow.

    I am extremely worried that tomorrow things are different, (you know, since I relapsed)

    Just wanted to know how you guys handle Nofap while your dating someone, and If your relapse affected your relationship.

    Keep strong mates, never give up!
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2017
    TetsuoAkira, Noelle and Awakening123 like this.
  2. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

    Anxiety will stay. This can serve as a motivation for you to not relapse again. What made you relapse? Block porn by using k9. There are tons of positive things you can do everyday instead of thinking about porn and fapping.
    ClimberF likes this.
  3. Mr. Fox

    Mr. Fox Guest

    First, congratulations.

    Second, stop overthinking your relapse. Get up and dust yourself off.

    Thirdly, what about dating and Nofap? From what it sounds like this girl wants to take things slow, so that should workout just fine with you and rebooting.

    As for dating and disclosure it really depends on how far you are and if you decided to actually be a couple. If you do decide to be an official couple then I think she should know. Right now though I don't see a reason to disclose your issue this early in the game.
  4. TheMeInMe

    TheMeInMe Fapstronaut

    That girl sounds like a gem. Keep hold on her bro! Sounds like you got some boots to fill, even though she has a liking for you, you must not let that fire burn out! Stay on your NoFap path I don't think your lady friend will really affect you [unless you guys become intimate ;)], heck it might shorten the reboot processes! I've never really dated anyone before...I don't know it might be because living in New Zealand and going to a catholic college [both genders don't worry ;)] sex was rather frowned upon. Or it might be because all my crushes were on farmers and they live 45 minutes drive out of town making it difficult on me...heck it might be me making a bunch of excuses...just keep trucking along bro!
  5. TheMeInMe

    TheMeInMe Fapstronaut

    Just Finished watching Zootopia, really enjoyed that movie!...has nothing to do with this thread idk I felt I've got the need to blurt that out. lol
  6. ClimberF

    ClimberF Fapstronaut

    Don´t waste this opportunity.. Maybe this is the chance of your life to be with a person you like.
    Take it seriously! This is a war and we all should win!
    On the other hand, it depends on the status of your reboot to have sex with this girl... In my personal experience sex with my ex girlfriend didn´t help at all with the reboot process.. Because actually I was in the process and I interrupted with sex. Remember PMO free is completely better and that includes sex with real persons.
    So, it´s a sensitive subject to speak with her about this.. But once you win more confidence you can tell her.. for now just DO not masturbate just take it seriously.. This is not a game.. this is your life.
    PMO screw up my last relationship.

    Awakening123 likes this.
  7. Ocean Man

    Ocean Man Fapstronaut

    Thanks everyone! I will totally keep going forward.
    Maybe there is the posiblity of a longer relationship, but I don't know. I'll just keep being myself, since that's the person she likes. I will not let my relapse discourage me!
    Thanks again, stay strong guys, we can beat this adiction!
    isiah0507, Awakening123 and TheMeInMe like this.
  8. TetsuoAkira

    TetsuoAkira Fapstronaut

    Don't focus on the outcome, you are not the only person who can contribute to the internal decisions she makes about the relationship.

    If you think about what might happen/how you might feel if this or that happened and why did she do this, does it mean have already lost, your mind gets lost within all the endless thoughts.

    Stay focused on your goal of beating PMO, but she should have little to do with it, because you would have achieved it regardless of her presence in your life.

    She is a new, exciting element to your life, but should not be a distraction or temptation to Relapse again. Don't get caught up in emotions, as they are secondary to restraint and control over your physical actions.
    Awakening123 likes this.

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