Hey guys. Sorry for the length but I really need help. I just turned 31. I used to be a musician, have a lot of close friends, and get a lot of girls... but long story short I had a really painful relationship with my father, and when he died 6 years ago I went off the deep end and became a hardcore alcoholic. For the past 6 years I've been numbing myself with porn, food, and booze. I've been fapping at least 4 times a day. I pushed away or lost (deservedly so) all my friends including the best friend I'll ever have had. I went from being a "good looking" 24 year old with a lot going to a near 300 pound loser sleeping on his moms floor. So, today is my dads birthday and I just realized I have to turn my life around instead of wasting the life he gave me... I realized I have love to give and things to share...But I truly fear I've lost everything I once had and it's too late at 31 to build anything meaningful in life. I dont want to die alone and homeless. I'm feeling a weird mix of determined and hopeless. Any advice would be appreciated.