Starting a group mid20-mid30 yr olds, daily check-ins for motivated/active/studying/working men

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by hrmn51230, Dec 1, 2018.

  1. hrmn51230

    hrmn51230 Fapstronaut

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    I haven't spent much time on this site, but I have on the nofap subreddit. Im in my early 30s, in grad school on the east coast, and have been struggling with pmo since middle school. Since I discovered nofap I've had a handful of long streaks, none lasting more than 7 or 8 months. Most recently I made it to 6 months and then binged throughout November. I know. Now on day 1. I have some experience organizing groups, so thought I'd try to do one here. Only rules I can think of are regular check-ins, no judgment, and an earnest desire to be done with pmo forever and to supplant it with higher goals and pursuits. I'm intending on utilizing this group to help each other reach our nofap goals, but also others such as meditation, fitness, nutrition, relationships, academic success, professional growth, financial independence, etc. I believe though that fundamentally we must do away with this one bad habit first. Help me do that and I'll respond the same. I won't be in charge of anything after the initial bringing everyone together. I'm dead serious about this and will be checking in daily for the next 5 days. At the end of the week I'll shoot everyone a message about next steps and whether we want to do texts, emails, whatsapp, etc. I'm open to any and all suggestions for how we should organize this thing. Lets do this.
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2018
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  2. Betterthanever

    Betterthanever Fapstronaut

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    Dude I like the sound of this. Count me in also.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2018
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  3. tbf

    tbf Fapstronaut

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    I’d be up for it as well.
     
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  4. YoungKing

    YoungKing New Fapstronaut

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    Count me in!!!
     
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  5. Theres a group forming on kik if your guys want to join
     
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  6. alecolson

    alecolson Fapstronaut

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    Need to start this again. Please count me in.
     
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  7. getting better

    getting better Fapstronaut

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    I'm in for this. I am 25, working on East Coast. Have tried and failed stopping this habit many times over the past few years.

    Longest streak to date since I started using PMO regularly was 61 days for me.

    I'd prefer an email or some other app method of communication that can keep it anonymous over texting. Looking forward to hearing other ideas and getting with a group of guys to conquer this together!
     
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  8. sideshow11

    sideshow11 Fapstronaut

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    This sounds fantastic. I live all the way in New Zealand so not really close to anyone living in the states ha, but I love the sound of this. I'm also in grad school in NZ and have been really struggling with motivation, alot of times due to PMO. I'm over it and want to finally get clean, hence I've just joined NoFap. Let me know how this group will work, I'm keen.
     
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  9. ironwill1113

    ironwill1113 New Fapstronaut

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    I'm in. I would love daily check ins. I'm in Pacific time zone, west coast of US.

    How are you planning to coordinate and communicate? Would be open to a Groupme or Whatsapp group or something.
     
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  10. Is kik ok?
     
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  11. hrmn51230

    hrmn51230 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, glad you all responded. Pretty good turn out for the post having been up for two days. Like I said, I'm new to all of this and have never partaken in an accountability group, but like a lot of us here, I'd seriously benefit from one, and am also motivated to keep others motivated. This habit has gone way too far for me and has made staying on the right path in life and pursuing my higher goals and realizing my potential a very difficult struggle.

    I haven't heard of kik, but I have used Whatsapp and from my understanding its solid for anonymity. If kik is better, let's do that. Anyone with experience with either please feel free to weigh in. If for now everyone's on board with Whatsapp, why dont we all download it as soon as possible and then everyone dm me their contact info so I can start a group chat by the week following this one? Anyone else that responds to my original post until we are all added on the group chat I will add separately until we hit about 10 consistent accountabili-buddies. Once we get the group chat going we can talk more about our personal goals within nofap and beyond. If anyone has any further suggestions feel free to post here or dm me. Were in this together.

    Hope you all have a good start to the week.
     
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  12. bluezy

    bluezy New Fapstronaut

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    I'd be interested as well. I'd prefer Telegram or Kik to be honest. I think Telegram would suit a group like this really good since you've got bot support and many more features that could be helpful for organising a group like this.
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2018
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  13. islandman

    islandman Fapstronaut

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    Count me in
     
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  14. thinktwice

    thinktwice Fapstronaut

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    I would also like to join! I am good with starting a whatsapp or anything else that people will like. I've never joined a group accountability, and I think it would be really beneficial. my highest streak would be 3 months, but that was a while back. I am looking forward to learning from others!
     
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  15. killa245

    killa245 Fapstronaut

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    Hi! I would like to join the group. I am 22 and I am finishin up undergrad. I just joined 3 days ago, and I would like to get the most out of this NoFap program. I started watching porn when I was 10 years old in 5th grade and it was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made in my life. Since I joined 3 days ago, I never saw porn, but I feel that I will loose that motivation soon, and get back to watching. I will love to give you guys the best motivation I can give you as well as learning from you guys as well! Thank you!
     
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  16. samsamb1989

    samsamb1989 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey!

    I am also interested to join. I am also graduate student and in my late 20th. It would be great if you can share you experience? My best steak was about 2-3 weeks.

    Best,



     
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  17. hrmn51230

    hrmn51230 Fapstronaut

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    My experience::

    Discovered softcore elementary school. Discovered MO early middle school. Discovered hardcore through dial up internet not long after. PMO at least weekly ages 13-23. PMO at least three times per week ages 23-current, with some periods of daily, infrequently more than once daily. PIED experienced with every girlfriend since age 17, so mostly avoided intimacy. Used to be outgoing, confident. Felt these traits diminish over time and I can't think of anything that drained my life force, or whatever you want to call it, more than PMO has. I have been late to countless engagements, classes, meetings, hangouts, dates even, because of PMO. I've missed classes and work because of all-night binges. I have been operating at 50% confidence, 50% drive, 50% emotional capacity, 50% social capacity, and 50% intellectual capacity for roughly a decade now.

    I've told myself I'd quit countless times, always intending on a specific event to be the starting date--every birthday since 16, every new years since 2003, every move to a new city, entering a new school, starting a new job, meeting a new girl, accomplishing a goal, endeavoring on a new goal, and falling to a new low like getting caught with P or faltering on a responsibility or even discovering that I liked a type of P that really turned me off after the episode was over.

    I discovered nofap around the time that my ex-fiance was leaving me, in part because of our nonexistent sex life, despite mutual attraction. Since then I have committed myself to at least a handful of streaks lasting anywhere from a few days to almost 7-8 months at most. Most longer streaks have involved edging, which in my opinion is only marginally better than noPMO altogether. I have been blessed in the realms of a supportive family, close friends, academic opportunities, mostly wonderful romantic connections, stable physical health and athletic abilities, and no real impediments to gratitude and happiness. I have no excuse to fall back on PMO as a coping mechanism for anxiety and depression. PMO causes me to become depressed and being depressed causes me to resort to PMO as an escape. The cycle has to be broken at some point.

    I am now at a very critical place where continuing down this path could cost me the persistence and mental fortitude necessary to have the life I want and the ability to effectuate my professional goals for the betterment of others.

    I'm fully confident that being a part of this team will be the cap to a steady inflow of regret and shame that has been continuously pouring over me, obscuring my vision, dimming my light, and hiding the path towards greater health and happiness.
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2018
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  18. killa245

    killa245 Fapstronaut

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    Here is something that worked for me:

    This is going to sound crazy for all of you guys, and I am open to suggestions, perhaps I will learn something from you guys haha.

    So a year and a half ago, I decided to give my smartphone away for a regular flip phone. I feel like getting a flip phone for you guys would reduce the chances of watching porn, whether you are in a social event away from your house, when you are about to hit the bed, etc. You would not be tempted to pull out the smartphone to watch porn.

    This is what I did, and it has reduced my chances of watching porn. I thought that this could be a start for all of us.

    Again I am open to suggestions/Questions.
     
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