Starting again

Hey. Its my first time to share something about my nofap situation socially. Literally there is no one i ever talked to about nofap. So here it is. I'm 23 , I've been fapping since 13-14yrs of my age. I never got to know about nofap before , it's benefits & PMO's dark side. So I continued to do it for almost like 9 yrs. & Now after all these yrs of practice & practice of fapping lead me to deep social anxiety , low self esteem , awkwardness around people , being frightened to meet people , especially women. Fapping was part of my daily life. But before few months ago ,when I was scrolling on YouTube I came across a video which was about nofap by ***. So I actually opened it because it included "fap". But it changed my perspective of my sexuality. I was in a serious relationship before but it never worked out , the reason was because I used to ignore her. But I know the real reason. The real reason is that I used to feel guilty about these fapping thing. & I didnt want to show my face to her. & I regret that so bad. I always think that why I never got to know about nofap before , but there's no use of it. All I want is to change my life , my perspective. I failed in nofap like 100 times but that's ohk. I'm trying again. It's a years & years of practiced habit , it will take time. & This time I'm going to complete my week of nofap at any cost & slowly I'll increase the time span. I will post whenever any other though pop into my head.
Idk if anyone is going to read it. But if does then I'm greatful for that man. Never give up. We are responsible for our lives.