Starting again

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Acky31, Jan 14, 2021.

  1. Acky31

    Acky31 Fapstronaut

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    This weekend we will have a child free day and night. We aren't sure what to do yet though. It always reminds me of the scene in Hotel Transylvania 3 where the werewolves put their kids into the kids club and they don't know what to do with their time...

    Works going okay, we haven't been too busy today, so I've been doing some microscopy and other jobs for a contract on some equipment. Not hugely exciting stuff, but stuff that doesn't always have designated time to do.

    This week has felt long. Probably because last week was a very short week. This weekend will be nice though.

    I do, however have a load of work to do on my portfolio, that I need to crack on with again. I also have a presentation to finish, and another to start, so plenty to keep me busy...
     
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  2. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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  3. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    I would encourage you to go back to your own very first journal. I know you struggle with honesty. What steps are you taking in your recovery? What steps has Tan taken in her recovery? It’s very easy to fall back into “ life as we live it” rather than implement real change. What changes have you made and held that are moving you toward a full recovery and healing in your marriage? I will say, I don’t miss the days of small children and no sleep, but I miss the moments with small children. Children are a blessing, but oh are they stressful.
     
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  4. Acky31

    Acky31 Fapstronaut

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    This is a great question, and one that I do need to answer. I have to admit that I haven't been working on my recovery as much as I should be, regardless of things that "get in the way", including small children and sleep deprivation.
    I know I need to work on it more, prioritise it more, and talk to Tan about it more, as there is a lot of things I need to focus on more. I appreciate the question though, gives me food for thought.
     
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  5. Acky31

    Acky31 Fapstronaut

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    So, the girls go back to school tomorrow. Man, where does the time go? It seems only a second since they finished for the summer. Thinking about it, it feels like only yesterday since they were little babies. Time seems to change with age, the older you get the faster time seems to go, so I dread to think what speed time will be flying by later in life.

    Typically, though, tonight (the night before they go back to school) they decide to act up and not want bed. Naturally enough, Tan is on a late shift so I had the kids to see to myself. And part of the problem I think, was the fact that I said yes to my dad when I picked them up, to have food at his, leading to us being slightly later home than planned, and hence out of routine.

    They are now in bed though, and I've been able to sit down finally. Tan will be finishing work shortly, and then we will go to bed, and hopefully get a good night sleep. But I'm not getting my hopes up...
     
  6. Acky31

    Acky31 Fapstronaut

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    Tonight has been another late shift for Tan, and another night of battling children until they succumb to sleep, when I can finally eat and have some peace and quiet.

    It hasn't really been that bad, though our 4yo daughter has been a touch restless, keeping our eldest awake, but they have actually gone to sleep now. I therefore have found myself with some time. Tan will be home in about 30-40 mins and then it won't be long before bed.

    Today has been busy, lots of work and not enough time, coupled with moving equipment, validating that equipment and also validating reagents sourced to replace reagents that are stuck because of (I can only assume...) lorry driver shortages, has meant I was pretty happy to be heading home. Tomorrow is likely to be much the same.

    It hasn't been too bad though, I enjoy it when it's busy, and you have to think about what your doing. It keeps you focused on the moment, kind of like practicing mindfulness.

    Speaking of which, I didn't get time to meditate before work this morning. It was my own fault though, I was distracted by something this morning and didn't realise the time, so when I parked up I had to just walk in to work. I enjoy meditating, and I practice it most days before work. It helps clear and focus my mind before work, and it gives you tools to use through the day. I will make sure I have time in the morning.
     
  7. Acky31

    Acky31 Fapstronaut

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    This week has been tough. Tan has not been enjoying work, but also not been enjoying staying at home with the girls as they haven't been the best recently. The little man had his vaccinations yesterday, so he was very upset and unhappy, and he also has a bit of nappy rash which doesn't help. Sleep hasn't been great, and tempers have been fraught.

    We are looking forward to a bit of rest this weekend, but chances are we won't get a load of that. Hopefully the little lad will sleep okay, and have a lie in, but I'm not getting my hopes up for anything. I'll settle for a weekend without work at least.
     
  8. Acky31

    Acky31 Fapstronaut

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    This weekend has been stressful. The kids have been under the weather and the little man hasn't done so well with his vaccinations, and chances are he is coming down with whatever the girls have had, so last night we were essentially awake from about 2.30am. This morning our youngest girl was screaming and shouting of her ear hurting from 4.30am so we ended up all out of bed and getting ready for the day pretty early. Tan now feels like she is coming down with something, and we are all a little worse for wear today. The lack of sleep is really affecting Tan now though, and is really affecting her mood. I want to try my best to help her with that, as she is finding it tough at the moment.
     
  9. Acky31

    Acky31 Fapstronaut

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    This week has continued to be tough. The little one has not got any better on a night, culminating in the disaster that was last night, where he generally slept the whole night in roughly half hour stints. Safe to say both Tan and I were worse for ware this morning. Tan is now on a late shift, but will be finishing soon for the weekend. Hopefully we can get some sleep tonight.

    Tomorrow both of the girls are performing in a dance show with their dance classes, it will be in a local stadium too, but they are pretty nervous about it as most of the practice and rehearsals etc has been done over zoom. Zoom has been great for a lot of things, but it doesn't really replace actually going to a dance lesson, especially when you are learning a routine that involves other people. Hopefully those nerves don't unsettle them too much, and that they manage to enjoy themselves, I'm looking forward to watching them. Proud dad!
     
  10. Acky31

    Acky31 Fapstronaut

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    The weekend was great. The girls did us proud on Saturday performing in their dance show, our eldest performed in 2 shows and didn't finish until 9pm. Safe to say she was knackered. Both were really well behaved, and we couldn't have asked for more from them.

    We went to our neighbours daughters birthday party on Sunday with the kids too, which went really well. The little man refused to nap though, so he ended up particularly grotty by the end of the day, but he slept okay on the night. All in all, a pretty good weekend.

    Last night he did not sleep as well, and it's left us feeling pretty tired today. Both of us struggled to sleep after the first time he woke up at about 2.30am. Not ideal, and it's been pretty busy at work recently, so I don't think I was really on the ball as well as I would have liked. I still felt accomplished by the end of the day though, and I guess that counts for a lot.

    We have the little man's christening this weekend coming, which will be great. It'll be the first time we have had all the family together since before Covid so I'm looking forward to it.
     
  11. Acky31

    Acky31 Fapstronaut

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    The weekend was great. We had a brilliant party for the Christening, which allowed us to see family that we haven't seen for well over a year. The only downside was that everyone loved the cake, meaning there was none for us to take home...

    This week has gone by quite well so far. Work has been okay, despite the recent lab move, there hasn't been too much stress. There have been some teething problems, and a lot of logistical issues, but it's been manageable and work has stayed at work, happily checked out at the door.

    Tan is on a late shift tonight, so I have spent my spare time tidying, though there hasn't been a huge amount of that after getting three kids to bed. I have just finished eating, and Tan theoretically finishes soon, but her late shifts have been leaving her finishing late quite regularly. I'll put the kettle on for her coming in anyway, as she can't check out as easily as me as a community nurse, she will have work to do before we get to bed. Hopefully not too much though!
     
  12. Acky31

    Acky31 Fapstronaut

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    So, today is the 29th of October. Where has this year gone? Its strange, but Covid seems to have created some kind of time warp that has made days feel long, but weeks and months feel short, either that or it's just me getting older...
    The past few weeks have been going pretty good. The girls are away for three nights in a caravan with their grandparents, so Tan and I are both off work tomorrow to make the most of it. Tan will be getting a new car and we will do some other bits and bobs, just enjoying some peace and quiet (although we will still have the little man).
    Christmas is also fast approaching, meaning there are presents to buy, and stress and decorations and tidying... Tan will be working Christmas morning this year, so we will be waiting to start Christmas day until the afternoon. I'm looking forward to it, I think the girls are getting to a great age for all of that stuff.
     
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