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Starting for real

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by frosty1980, Sep 23, 2019.

  1. frosty1980

    frosty1980 Fapstronaut

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    Hello,

    This is my first thread here on nofap. I'm 39 years old, have been of porn since may 1st but continued to engage in problematic behaviour, such as having sex with someone waay younger (20) I shouldn't be having sex with and snapchatting with also with a younger woman (25) showing her everything. I always ask permission first, but still, this doesn't seem like legit behaviour. It's definetely an addiction or compulsion, as I feel really shameful afterwards, also it could hurt me socially if word gets out, as I live in a small community.

    I had one streak of about 35 days, was feeling pretty good, but then came home one night, was feeling lonely and decided to do some more "snapchatting" (it was really fb messenger) with another woman abroad. That was about 3 weeks ago and I just now relapsed with another snachat.

    I want this to stop but it's harder than I thought. I seem triggered by boredom and loneliness, feeling like a failure, not being able to connect, etc.

    So I decided to write up on here, see if it makes a difference. These forums have already helped me immensely but I need a firmer resolve or something. I need to push through the more difficult moments, when I "really want to...!!".

    Thanks for reading. Might do some more writing in different threads.
     
  2. I can relate to your feeling of loneliness and feeling like a failure. I think for me it is a deeper lack of self esteem that is behind this addiction. Let me know if you ever want to talk or need support.
     
    frosty1980, Coffee Candy and rafael33 like this.
  3. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the Nofap community.
    The NO PMO journey is not easy but worth the effort.
    The community will support you.

    Maybe you want to make some commitment- not to the community but to yourself. How about a 14-days, 30-days or 90-days NO PMO streak?
    I recommend a counter and a personal journal.
     
  4. Heyyy welcome to the NoFap forum : ) It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!

    Here is just some advice:

    First and foremost please take a look at each section in the forum,there might be something(s) you may find of big help to you. Feel free to post there :+)

    Then secondly I just strongly advise you to be active on your profile(as there quite a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then make daily status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. They've also got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you encouragement/support.

    People (are beginning to) love communicating in the profilesection..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive talk. It would be great to have you join in and support others in the threads, profiles, and journal. Make sure and be grateful for the help you received and help after receiving some. Invest in some people's journeys. We could always use your help and in return you shall receive some as well!

    Thirdly, You should also highly consider creating a public journal and write about your days in more depth for us members to follow along your journey and offer support to you by way of posting in your journal.

    Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
     
    control your life and frosty1980 like this.
  5. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use theNoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | ForumRules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the manychallenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
    control your life likes this.
  6. control your life

    control your life Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Hi friend . Yah ...its a toughy to be boored and lonely . Nice hobbies can help , or socialising in real . Im often reading or watching good movie , but im struggling too. Good luck to you!
     
    Coffee Candy likes this.

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