starting fresh

Hi all! My name's Al, I'm here because I've been stuck in a loop of watching porn every few days, then trying to stop, then watching again for a few days, for several years. My birthday was yesterday, and so I decided to join up here and start doing all that I can to quit the habit. I can't wait to share the journey of getting clean with you all
I'm hoping to use this thread as a journal to keep myself accountable, but if anyone has some advice for a noob to the forum, don't hesitate to let me know please! I'll be checking here a couple times every day and updating as I go.

 

thanks a lot for the information! that is very useful.

 

for the journal part:
today was a success! that makes 3 days total, 1 of which have occurred since i joined. I had a little bit of an urge once when about to shower, but i looked through these boards some and got distracted by it and encouraged. Will update again tomorrow, but now I'm going to bed.

 

journal again:
this was a successful day 4 as well! almost no temptation today. I've been trying to keep myself occupied mentally as much as possible, but a daily summer class with lots of homework I've been taking ends tomorrow, so I'll have a lot more free time on my hands. I guess that means i need to start up some more time-consuming habits. I've had little time to work out, so I'll probably start that up again as quickly as I can, but it won't take up all the time i usually spend on school. If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to share, and thanks in advance

 

july 11 journal:
day 5 complete! I had some trouble today; i took a shower, which is where i usually jack off, but I took a relatively quick shower and read from some of the success stories here beforehand. It worked, but there was quite a bit of temptation. I think i need to take even shorter showers and/or find something productive to do or think about during them.
another user in a different thread (i don't remember who or which) suggested putting a rubber band on one's wrist and snapping it each time one has a dirty thought/urge, and that seems to be helping a little. It may be decreasing their frequency, but it's too soon to assume. But hey, every little thing helps.
Also, my maths class ended today, so I'll have significantly more time on my hands during the day. I'll start working out again probably (which i already said) but I'll need to fill my time with other activities too and not just boredom.
But I'll start to figure that out tomorrow! For now I'll browse these forums some then go to bed.

 

july 12 journal:
another successful day of no PMO! This makes 6! I had a friend over for most of the afternoon today so i didn't even have much time to have any urges. A few minor ones here and there, but today was probably my cleanest day yet in this streak.
I've made it 8-12 days or so of not fapping on my own before, but relapsed after that, so I'm hesitant to say I'm already improving. But I think having a community around me and this journal really help me maintain a quitting mindset. I don't feel exceptionally different, but looking back on it, my energy level seems to have risen some over the past few days. I can only hope it continues in this trend of getting better!
I highly recommend wearing a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it when you have a urge/unwanted thought. It seems to help me hugely in decreasing the frequency of the urges; it's a sort of reverse effect of Pavlov's dog experiment.
Will update again tomorrow after another hopefully successful day!

 

july 13 journal:
a full week (7 days) of no PMO! I can already feel some of the mild effects of recovery - for instance, i woke up with some morning wood today, for the first time in at least a year.
I typically fap just before/when i'm in the shower, and i took one today, but i read some success stories on here before hand, and took a shorter/colder shower to help prevent myself from fapping. It worked, but i had some urges. I hate to give up warm showers, but if that's what it takes to get out of PMO's grip, i'll have to do it.
Heading to bed now, planning on waking up to another successful day of no PMO.

 

day 8 complete!
today was a bit of an unusual day, as urges go. I had very few in the morning, very few in the afternoon, and none tonight. However, when i took a shower in the late afternoon, i had a lot of urges. it was hard to overcome, but i changed the temp to cold after i got in and was snapping my rubber band. That mostly helped. Regardless, once again no fapping today for me! Hopefully the weekend will be easier because some relatives are coming in from out of town so they should help keep my mind off of PMO-related stuff.

 

day 9 complete! I had almost no urges today, just 2 or 3 major ones interspersed through the day. I also got some books today, which I should be able to occupy my mind with at least for the rest of the summer. I'm getting into DnD some too lately; I really love the concept, and the few games I've played have been fantastic, so I'm planning on sinking more time into that and that should help me keep my mind off fapping.
on the other hand, I think i'm losing some of my enthusiasm for this program. I'm not as excited to be doing it as when i first started. Maybe it's just because I'm less focused on not fapping so it's not as prevalent in my mind, but maybe not. My resolve isn't wavering any more than usual, but I'm not sure how much of me not fapping is driven by excitement and how much by resolution. If it's mostly excitement of not fapping that's keeping me from fapping, I'm afraid I could relapse the more the excitement fades. I hope it isn't that.
We will see. Hoping and praying to have another successful day tomorrow.

 

day 10 complete!
today was a relatively easy day, as they've been so far. only 2 big urges that i remember, both of which passed fairly quickly, but other than that the day went pretty smoothly. It seems as though I get the worst urges when i'm showering, so I'll ask people about how to fix that, and also I guess I'll continue cutting back on showering time
this was a short report but today was mostly uneventful so that's a good sign! i'm going to read for a bit and then i'm going to bed.
hoping & praying for a successful day 11 tomorrow!

 

july 17 journal:
day 11 complete! this was one of the harder days thus far; twice when i was scrolling through IG or something similar, i came across one of those "girl looking like she's working out but is really just bending over a lot to show off her butt" pages. I clicked away both times and didn't actually go to jack off, but i definitely got strong urges which could've just led me to the bathroom to fap. I didn't though! Which is bittersweet, because I didn't fap of course but also shows that it's not really getting any easier to resist the urges.
Hoping tomorrow will go better urge-wise, but for now I'm just going to bed.

 

july 18th journal:
day 12 complete, still no fapping. my enthusiasm is all but gone for not fapping, so it's pretty much just my resolution not to fap keeping me going. Hopefully I can stick it out until it gets easier again. Once today i really wanted to go to the bathroom and just jack it, but I held tight to my resolution not to fap again after my recent birthday and made it through. Took a shower today also, it was very short and cold, so very little temptation there.
Hoping and praying for an easier tomorrow.

 

july 19 journal:
day 13 complete. Still no fapping. I didn't see anything majorly triggering today, so no big urges. I also had a lot to do, though, so I didn't have much time to sit around and look at IG or anything where i'd find potentially triggering content. Lots of preparing stuff for D&D games. Still, I'm no more enthused about the concept of not fapping. But I'm trying to stay strong. I know how bad it is for my body, I guess it's still just really hard to break the habits. I looked into my bible a few times over the past few days trying to find some encouraging verse or something, but nothing really stood out. I'll keep looking every once in a while though, and sooner or later I should come across something to revitalize my nofap process.
Anyway, I'm going to bed. 'Night all.

 

july 20 journal:
day 14 effectively complete. I'm about to take a shower before I go to bed, but I know I won't fap in it or anything since I'm on here now & I'm not really in the mood for fapping. For an update on recovery symptoms: today I got a pretty hard one on thinking about someone I kind of like, just as my mind wandered some today. But I didn't feel nearly as much of a need to jack off because of it as I used to feel.
Regardless, a few times I got some significant urges today, so it still wasn't easy. But even so, I've been feeling very resolute. I will not let myself jack off, not anymore.
I'm about to get in the shower once I look at these forums some more, but after that I'll go to bed. Good night all.

 

july 21 journal:
day 15 complete! I'm 1/2 way to 30 days! Today, surprisingly, was relatively easy. Few urges, and the ones I did get passed pretty quickly.
One of my siblings had a friend over today, so I got to help entertain them some, and I also dove pretty heavily into reading more of, and learning more about, D&D. In about a week I get to DM for the first time
Anyway, once again I'll sign off for today because I'm heading to bed. Hoping and praying for an equally successful/easy day tomorrow. Good night.

 

july 22 journal:
day 16 complete! It's really interesting to see the hills i go over through this process: the first week or so I was feeling good about not fapping, then for 3-4 days after that it got significantly harder not to fap for a while, and now I'm not completely at the level of my first "high", but i'm generally feeling good about how it's going and I'm at least semi-optimistic about not fapping.
Almost no urges today. The frequency of me pretty much thinking "i want to fap" isn't going up or down, but I'm definitely getting fewer images in my head causing urges. Overall today was pretty easy, I just hope it continues to get easier as i distance myself further and further from fapping.
hoping and praying for an equally easy/successful tomorrow. Going to bed now. 'Night all.

 

july 23 journal:
day 17 complete! today was an encouraging day. I went to church today, and (among a few other things) the preacher spoke about how important it is to confide in other people when you're going through rough patches in life. That in particular stuck out to me because it made me glad to be able to record my journal here on NoFap and go through this journey of quitting porn with all of you.
That message powered me through the morning and most of the afternoon, but after that I was too busy preparing D&D stuff to think about PMO. I get to GM for my first time this friday
If i've not said it already, to anyone reading this: I highly recommend picking up a hobby which you can fill your time with instead of thinking about fapping. It really seems to be helping me, and it may help any of you as well.
Anyway, signing off for now. I'm going to bed. 'Night all.