Starting My 90 Day Hard Mode Reboot!

Hello, I have been addicted for 8 years. I did not notice the effects porn was having on my life until around 4 years ago. Like most people who have suffered from porn addiction, i started of small occasionally watching porn for 10-15 minutes for few days a week. Gradually my tolerance grew and i begin watching for hours everyday for years. I decided that it was having such a negative toll on my life and i had to stop. Ive been actively trying to stop for the past 3/4 years. Ive tried multiple different ways to stop such as; Online therapy videos, paid rehabilitation courses, praying & just pure willpower. Nothing has worked. I can manage to go a week at most and then always end up relapsing. I have found i go longer without porn when i am extremely occupied with work or exams. Even then it is a week at most. Although i am still studying at prestigious UK university with very good graduate prospects, I still feel as if porn as truncated my overall potential in life. I am at a point in my life now where, if i dont stop i can see the results of that will show sooner rather than later. When i was a bit younger i could get away with it. I have come across NoFap before but never decided to use it as i found it a bit confusing not being the most tech savvy. However now it is my last chance and I Need the help of the community to help elevate my motivation and drive me to freedom.
The symptoms of my addiction have exacerbated over time. These include;
- Excessive fatigue
- Anxiety
- Depression
- PIED
- Impotency
- Eye Floaters
- Lack of Motivation
- Chronic Back Pain
- Unhealthy Diet and living style
- Abnormal Sexual Fetishes
- Giving up my hobbies


My plan is to try and reverse these symptoms and recover my full life potential and reboot my sexual desires. My brain need a real good rewiring and i feel as if, my reboot may take a bit longer than most.

I will be updating this thread daily and aim to note my experiences and observations on my reboot throughout the journey.

(In the name of god - I will be free from Pornography)

Thankyou!

 

Relapsed on the first attempt. I really need to sort out a proper recovery routine before i dive into this. I will Restart tomorrow and will aim to get rid of ALL electronics from my bedroom to reduce the risk of relapse.

 

Day 1 completed. I have put in new strategies that confine me to only using my laptop outside the house and my phone out of my bedroom. Also got a strict regime, of Work - Studying - Exercise - Praying. I know its just the beginning. I now have to be consistent.

 

The feeling of failure. Relentless Fatigue, barely being able to get up out of bed and get ready for work. I feel worthless and am extremely depressed. I tried again and failed. I know the problem is not sticking to the rules i made out. Suicidal Thoughts are not foreign. I need Help...

 

Im started my 90 day Hard Mode PMO today. My Targets are 21 days - 30 Days - 60 Days and 90 Days. Taking it a day at a time and will hope to progress.

I have padlocked my Laptop outside of my bedroom, so hoping this will help. I have designed a new daily routine which evolves around several activites which i would like to complete during my day ;

- Studying in the morning
- Working afternoon
- exercise/Work Out Evening
- Praying and Reading at Night

Got alot to do and worry about but i want nothing more than to be free.

 

Hey, Yeah its a terrible feeling. Lets work and motivate each other to keep up the streak! I will be posting updates daily. Do you have thread in which i can follow your recovery?

 

Hey, our feelings are mutual. It is so degrading and demoralising. Its even more difficult when no one around you knows the pain you are going through. I want to help you. Lets get over this horrid addiction together. Start a thread and track your recovery daily, so i can follow and we can motivate each other and become free together!

 

Day 2: I have changed my routine around so that i post up my feelings and changes every morning before work. This gives me a chance to motivate myself for the rest of the day.

 

Welcome steve, It would be so great to have you join our quest to freedom. It is going to be difficult as we all know. Relapses are not foreign to us. But we need our lifes back and we need to be able to show the world out true potential. send me a link to your recovery thread and i will follow your journey

 

RELAPSED. AGAIN. This time it was more of an impulse, i didnt watch any hard porn but found myself scrolling through pictures alone in my bedroom.

I went back on my promise to not use devices alone. I need to stick to my rules and always stay alert. I found relapses are most common when you are relaxed and lose concentration on your goal. Overcoming porn will be the hardest and biggest acheivment i will ever achieve. I need to start taking more serious action.

I will Restart again tomorrow. Target is 21 days to start off with HARD MODE PMO.

 

Day 2 - I have found a new routine which fixates around me not being able to find access to porn anywhere or anytime in which i am isolated. I really want to get back on my fitness routine, but it is difficult as i work long hours during the day then study during the evening. I guess ive just decided that at this current point in time, id rather prioritise my exam than sacrifice that time for working out. Having said that, i will soon cut down my working hours, which will then give me the ability to study earlier and workout during the evenings.

I really want to sort my life out in a whole load of ways and getting over this addiction will be the platform for so many great things.

One step at a time...