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Starting my journey. Enough is enough! (Journal)

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by RetiredHurt, Aug 10, 2020.

  1. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Day 8: Forgot to write yesterday so this is stale info.

    More energy, more confidence.

    Let's say I am feeling a bit happier without any reason.

    I am having a lot of dreams at night, most of which are sexual and involve females who I find attractive. This did not use to happen when I used to fap daily. I guess the testosterone has finally reached my brain lol.

    Anyway, I don't think these dreams are healthy because they do hypersexualize the women I am going to interact with.

    About urges, they have fallen as far as porn is concerned. However, I could just about fuck anyone right now. So yeah, a bit awkward situation- porn urges down but libido ultra high. I guess this will calm down in a day or two.

    Signing off!
     
  2. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Not the girl, the lady who plays Mrs. Park - the rich woman. Not seen snowpiercer yet, will give it a watch.

    This headache is most likely because of monsoon. Hopefully, next year, by not fapping, I wont have this headache.
     
  3. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Day 9:

    PUMPED UP BROTHERS!!!!!!!!!

    Energy level is very high, extremely worked up on little things. Becoming hot headed though, totally enjoying it. Now I realise what they meant when they said "you will become more motivated". I could fucking lead a 5th crusade right now!!
     
  4. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much. Could you leave some tips on how to reach where you currently are?
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Day 10 guys:

    This is my highest ever streak since I was 13 years old. Honestly, I am not feeling great or celebratory about it. Not like I am sad about it, but rather indifferent.

    The energy rise that I got in the last 3-4 days is starting to shadow away now.

    I am becoming the normal person I was without the porn and fapping. I don't even have that many urges to watch or fap.

    Feeling a bit better though. It's been raining since one week here. My mom, dad as well as my younger brother fell sick but I didn't. I can infer that this is due to nofap because generally, I have the immunity of a pencil.

    Keep Marching Gentlemen!
     
  6. Yes...
    • Be laser focused on what you want from life
    • Take steps to improve your personality, your health and your knowledge
    • Have fun, but be self conscious and don't waste too much time
    • Stay busy, avoid being alone in your room
    • Develop healthier habits to replace bad ones
     
    RetiredHurt likes this.
  7. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Day 11:

    Nothing much of a change per see.

    I'd say that I am back to what I was without the porn and fapping.

    My natural urges have shrunken.

    One notable change though- it is raining a lot here and my family is under the weather but not me. This is groundbreaking because I have the immunity of a peanut. I don;t know whether because of nofap or not, in any case, extremely happy that my immunity has improved.
     
  8. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Day 12: BLUE BALLS!

    Had a long morning erection because of which it pained like shit for 10 minutes or so. Legit balls pain. Wouldn't wish that even on my enemy.

    Urges have disappeared kinda. libido at an all time low.
     
  9. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Day 14- Relapsed.
    Don't wanna talk about it.
    Did it in all consciousness, it didn't just happen.
    Will try once again.
    A bit disappointed.
     
  10. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Continuing the havit of journaling.

    Restarting my nofap journey after 6 months. In September I reached 33 days and was on top of the world. Well, like all stories, mine also had a down turn. I watched porn once thinking it will be harmless and bam again I was into PMO.

    Currently, it has been 4 long long days since I saw porn Or fapped.

    I had very high levels of interest for exercise today and I am proud of myself for doing this.

    Hopefully I will create a streak way larger than last time.
     
  11. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Day 5:

    I have had urges way too many times today. But I was in good company, had some errands to run so the day came to an end. Fear the night though. Nah I am stronger than the night.

    My self control at night is way better at day 5 than on day 1. So I guess, a win. I just feel a bit confused about ....everything.

    Got angry at someone for no mistake of theirs. And angry as in shouting at top of my voice angry. I rarely lose my calm. Weird. Can somebody help a bit? I am feeling very confused
     
  12. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Day 6:

    Okay, this was weird. In the morning I had lots of urges and more so in the form of imagining scenarios with women I could never woo (can anyone relate?) I kinda feel bad about myself for thinking so about the women. But on the brighter side, this thought came only once in the day and not like 1000 times a day it generally used to. My sleep cycle has also been disturbed.

    I know I can continue. I know I will. And when I climb the mountain I will pat the present me and say- You did good. I guess this thought is what keeps me going.
     
  13. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Day 7:

    I got a lot done today. My dad got very high fever because he took vaccine yesterday. I had the willpower to go and buy delicious mangos from 7 kms away (I thought I was too lazy to do that. I don't know, I feel less lethargic. I also worked out today. I guess it was a good day. I kinda feel satisfied with how the day went.

    Looking forward to this being a n average day in life than an exception.
     
  14. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Day 9:

    This is very weird. I am having a lot of urges and sudden energy drop. What is happening to me? I just had a fight with three people. I am having day thoughts of stripping and having intercourse with women I know or had a crush on in the past. And these are not just thoughts, these are full fledged scenarios, like simulations? Is it creepy? Should I be alarmed? I don't know.

    Because of cousins coming come, I am sure I am not going to fall into fapping. But then my head, it's all going messy. I am thinking stuff I am ashamed about. How do I fight such thoughts?
     
  15. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Day 10:

    I woke up in the morning but had to sleep all morning till noon because of some weird fatigue. After that, it was a pretty normal Sunday. I am glad that I worked out even though very late.

    A very very significant thing to notice today is that I had legit no urges, like pure zero. I have a sigh of relief because of no urges. It is my fourth consecutive day of working out and I feel good for that part.

    FOr some reason, I do not feel happy anymore. I feel very down and vulnerable, more so lonely. I feel anxious about the future. I take shelter in the fact that this too shall pass.

    Until then,
    Keep going.
     
  16. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Day 11:

    I did not exercise today because of some work but I guess I can take the weekly off today. I feel normal no change. Got a bit done today. Helped my grandmother do some exercise. There is some form of anxiousness that refuses to let me go. I guess I have no cure for that. I am trying to build a routine where I wake up early and I hope I achieve success in that.

    Lowkey I ma so happy that I reached double digits. I know that the first 2 weeks are much harder than the later part. I am part of an accountability group also so that helps as well.

    So yeah, good going.
     
  17. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Day 12:

    Nothing there to say really. I have noticed thie one fact though. My motivation to work out is always high when I am on NoFap.

    Otherwise normal day.
     
  18. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Day 13:

    Had my girlfriend at my place today. I fingered her but did not have sex. But because of friction and all, I almost came (thank god I didn't it would have been embarrassing).

    After I edged, I had a very bad pain in balls I dont know why and what happened. In any case, I am not counting this as relapse because neither I came nor I watched porn nor did I even touch myslef.

    So yeah.

    Later then folks.
     
  19. RetiredHurt

    RetiredHurt Fapstronaut

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    Day 14:

    Normal Day.

    Worked out in morning.

    But slept 4 hours in the afternoon.

    Did my taxes.

    Nice.
     

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