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Starting nofap, i have urges to cheat on gf

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by himfan95, Aug 3, 2018.

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  1. Aug 3, 2018 #1
    himfan95

    himfan95 New Fapstronaut

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    So first time here and I feel I should get this out here. Maybe it will help, who knows.

    Anyways. I started the nofap journey about a month and half ago. Went 4 weeks without pmo, but the urges were too strong so I relapsed. Now another week into my urges are coming back. I find myself not craving porn for these urges, but rather wanting to go hook up with other girls other than my girlfriend.

    The first two weeks of my journey were fine, but then I started thinking about other girls that I know that I could hook up with if I tried to. Kept resisting, but eventually I thought if I pmo maybe this will help get those thoughts gone. Well they did for about a week or so, but here I am now. All I can think about is messaging/texting/calling etc, some other girls I know about hooking up.

    I love my girlfriend more than life itself and I would never cheat on her, and to that degree I have never cheated on anyone before. When I was pmo'ing all the time I never had the urge to cheat and we had an amazing relationship. But now that im trying to give up porn and masturbating I suddenly just want to have sex with other girls that I know.

    So all I want to know is other people here having/had the same urges while doing nofap?
     
    himfan95, Aug 3, 2018
    himfan95, Aug 3, 2018
    #1
  2. Aug 3, 2018 #2
    GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    I'm on day 28. You got to be strong. Stick with what is right. Idk nor am asking but if your girlfriend is having sex with you. I'd hope that is helping. But either way if not you still have to be strong and be able to have self control and not be enslaved by an addiction. You got this! Go be with your girl.
     
    GA93JDeereboy, Aug 3, 2018
    GA93JDeereboy, Aug 3, 2018
    #2
  3. Aug 3, 2018 #3
    Ichiro

    Ichiro Fapstronaut

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    It's the Coolidge effect, man. Your brain is attracted to novelty, and managed to use this fantasy as an excuse to return to PMO. You'll get through it though. As long as you wait it out, this urge will weaken.
     
    Ichiro, Aug 3, 2018
    Ichiro, Aug 3, 2018
    #3
    Immature likes this.
  4. Aug 4, 2018 #4
    houndie

    houndie Fapstronaut

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    I think I have the same thing as OP.

    Maybe it's Coolidge and just the brain wqnting release in some novel ways now that pmo is not an option.
    Plus, cheating is a taboo and a fetish - the "illegality" of it makes it novel and exciting.

    I somewhat think it has something to do with a weird sense of self-worth. Maybe it's just the weird ego-boosting idea that having success in NoFap makes you into a "better" person and that should be reflected in hooking-up victories (because they wouldn't look twice at a boring, senseless addict).

    I'm not sure what might help. As I said, I'm also stuck with it. Maybe meeting up with friends you respect - that self-worth would have a new thing to measure itself against. Went to.a birthday party yesterday and had some nice chats, the thought of cheating would have seemed weird there.

    Just finding non-sexual ways to have a good time. Dunno.
     
    houndie, Aug 4, 2018
    houndie, Aug 4, 2018
    #4

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