Starting this now. Very scared.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by keepgoing88, Apr 14, 2016.

  1. keepgoing88

    keepgoing88 Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone,

    I am a 28 year old male who just realized how bad porn is ruining his life. I do the same thing everyday. I go to work come home during my lunch break and look at porn. Then watch porn for about an hour a night when I get home. Over the past couple of years I have spent money on it. Probably a few thousand. What a waste. I never talk to women. I have social anxiety and no confidence. I feel like I ruined the past ten years of my life. But I must look forward. Anyway the longest I went is two weeks. Also I have a bad junk food addictions which I think goes hand and hand with the tapping because after i do it I must eat junk food. I was diagnosed with pre diabetes a few weeks ago so I really am trying to get a hold on that. I will start my reboot tomorrow and I just hope I can keep it up. I am starting to see how much of a waste porn is. I was spending money on pornstars with calling them and all they want is money. Completely useless but it is fun at the time. Then I feel horrible immediately after. Anyone I hope everyone is doing well and good luck to everyone.
     
  2. keepitreal-88

    keepitreal-88 Fapstronaut

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    Yep, such a waste and it's so obvious but so easy to forget when you have the urge to pmo. Remember that and come here next time before you throw away any progress. It's gonna be tough man but keep going. All the best.
     
    adam1992 likes this.
  3. traveller22

    traveller22 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome keepgoing88. You have joined a tribe here & we are here to work together & help each other, to overcome PMO.

    It won't be easy, but there's a lot you can do to slowly start to recover & regain your life, your confidence, your self-respect & the person you are, deep inside.

    PMO is a cheap thrill with a massive price tag.

    Spend time here & start formulating your plan of action.

    We can fully recover from our PMO habit & we will.

    T22.
     
    lucasrochex, adam1992 and GSarosi like this.
  4. adam1992

    adam1992 Fapstronaut

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    You can do it bro because we are all here for each other!
    Good luck!
     
  5. keepgoing88

    keepgoing88 Fapstronaut

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    Well I only lasted 4 days. I relapsed and It is 4 months later. This sucks. I went back and looked at my bank statement and I spent money on this trash. It is so fake and I cannot quit watching.
     
  6. Chris Kross

    Chris Kross Fapstronaut

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    But you're still there. That's good. Two steps forward, one step back. Move on, mister. And your wallet is not for PMO, remember this.
     
  7. AllanTheCowboy

    AllanTheCowboy Fapstronaut

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    Yes you can. You just have to try again from different angles. Again and again. And again and again and again.
     
  8. PathfinderB

    PathfinderB Fapstronaut

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    Hey, keepgoing88. I'm a new Fapstronaut myself, similar age (30). Porn's been a part of my life for about as long as I can remember. I'm trying to finally, seriously get a handle on it after struggling on and off for along while. Let's do this together.

    Have you tried channeling all the energy and time you used to pour into porn, into something else, like a hobby you've been neglecting? Or maybe something new to keep your thoughts in a different direction? Find something and try focusing on that for a while.

    Hang in there, brother. I'll pop back to check in on you. Remember, as long as you're here and reading our words, you haven't truly lost the battle.
     
  9. traveller22

    traveller22 Fapstronaut

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    This is a battle worth fighting. It's a vital one, in ways that at the moment we can only imagine.

    Don't listen to the vicious little porn monkey that wants to make you feel to depressed & down on yourself, so that you continue to medicate your negativity with porn-related escapism.

    We are warriors. We've just forgotten the power we have & what it feels like to breath the clean air of PMO freedom.

    One moment, one hour, one day at a time.

    You can do it.

    One day we will all die in the body & overcome our addictions.

    Let's not wait until then.

    Strength!

    T22.
     
  10. jfromcr

    jfromcr Fapstronaut

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    Hey @keepgoing88,

    I am sorry that you have fallen back into a negative pattern. Welcome back to the fight. What kind of support do you need?
     
  11. keepgoing88

    keepgoing88 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks fellas for all your kind words and support. I do not know what it is going to take. I just feel like I am so entrenched in this trash now that it is hard getting out. I mean I am not in trouble with escorts or strippers or anything. it just online porn that I am hooked on, but my mind keeps telling me I am too deep in it. I feel like the biggest perv and have a fear that I will never live up to my potential. I mean I have not had a girlfriend in years. I am down on myself because I spent money on this garbage too many times. I am just exhausted, but I keep doing it. I like the idea of quitting without the actual quitting. you guys are great thanks for everything.
     
  12. traveller22

    traveller22 Fapstronaut

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    Have you checked out YourBrainOnPorn yet? If not, knowledge = power & realising that this addiction is primarily a chemical one, puts things into perspective.

    Can you describe what you have done to date in order to break the addiction? For example, have you completed a deep "three circle" exercise? If not, I would HIGHLY recommend that.

    As you can appreciate, we cannot hope to overcome this in a vacuum. I found the three circle exercise, plus finding an accountability partner, massive helps in this one.

    Your future self calls back to you, encouraging you. "You can do it. Rise up. One moment at a time. Make a change, even a small one."

    You're not alone.

    Strength!

    T22.
     
  13. TheFutureMe

    TheFutureMe Fapstronaut

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    @keepgoing88 Welcome (back), and like the fellows have said, you're still here so you didn't quit the fight, you've just come to realize it may not be a single battle.

    Now, everyone has their tips and tricks that work for them (btw someone should really start patching all this data together and providing it to a scientific scrutiny to help trends emerge! so much info!) and a few powerful ones have already been exposed in this thread so I won't add to that. Only a few things that I find were keys to understand and help along the way :

    - Get educated on the how's and why's that come (no pun intended) with porn use, then narrow it down to your personnal experience.
    - Relapsed? It's fine, everybody does (no, really). Don't beat yourself over it (really, don't), pick yourself up when you're ready, and start over.
    - Progress is not going 1 step forward. It's going 999 backwards and 1000 forward.
    - Get educated.
    - Did I mention you really should learn all you can about addiction, what it is, how to get rid of it and why it settles?

    Keep going! :)
     
    alex_sober likes this.
  14. traveller22

    traveller22 Fapstronaut

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    We need to keep reminding ourselves....

    It's not about failing - we all do, on the road to full recovery - but how we respond when we fail, that is the most important thing.

    Get up. Learn. Make some changes. Move on.

    Our addictive behaviour feeds of our negative self-speak.

    We can break this addiction, but we need to WANT to. From here we start putting together our own personal programme to achieve that objective. This should include time on sites such as "yourbrainonporn.com" to learn about our addiction, finding an accountability partner etc.

    We can do it!

    Strength, determination & wisdom.

    T22.
     

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