Starting to slip back

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by zx125, Oct 14, 2016.

  1. zx125

    zx125 Fapstronaut

    244
    279
    63
    I have given up Mo'ing for about 5 months but I am starting to feel like I have the urge to start again. I haven't Mo'ed but I have come close to it, I have been edging and thinking about the pictures I used to look at to Mo over and remembering how good it felt. I feel as though I am finding it more difficult to stop now that I have abstained for a while and I am starting to think that it wouldn't hurt to do it just one more time.
     
    TheSaxMan and I Free I like this.
  2. zx125

    zx125 Fapstronaut

    244
    279
    63
    After five months of abstaining I feel as though I going to start again. I am starting to think just once or twice after five months isn't so bad, and I can always starts again, it is almost like I am thinking I need a reward after giving up for so long. During the last week I have been thinking about when I used to MO before, but then I am thinking about all the guilt and deceit that goes along with MO,ing. Is it so bad if I MO just once after five months to get it out of my system?
     
  3. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    Hey man, I'm letting you know now, please don't do it ! Why throw away all that progress you have made so far ? You and I know this is a challenge and its not going to be easy but if you've came so far, it should already have dawned in your mind that you could make this a lifestyle. When you have the urge again, just step outside and do something... walk, read a book, get some yard work done... do something, anything but contemplating on whether you want to give in or not because i'll tell you, when you have those thoughts to give up and give in, the opponent in your mind has the ball now and they are in scoring position... so play defense and be strong ! " Life begins at the end of your comfort zone "
     
  4. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

    709
    878
    93
    Try to remember why you stopped in the first place. Masturbating is no reward and it's not going to make you feel better or improve your life. You probably stopped because not masturbating makes you feel better and improves your life.

    I think we tend to get desire and impulses confused with pleasure and well-being. Masturbating will lessen the pleasure and well-being in your life.
     
  5. zx125

    zx125 Fapstronaut

    244
    279
    63
    Hi,
    I'm sorry but I gave in, I did it. After five months I returned to all those behaviours that were in the past. You know the story, its not fulfilling, it leaves you feeling empty and full of regret. I did all those things that I used to do, searched the internet, looked at the tv channels, felt guilty, acted secretly, returned to those old patterns. Obviously I now feel impure and unclean, maybe that's the guilt, but hopefully that will fade with time.

    The only solace I can take from this is that I managed five months, and this was my second five month streak. That seems to be my pattern now five months and then back to the start. Maybe I can make it longer next time.
     
  6. Hey, that's too bad that it ended. But congratulations on 5 months...don't beat yourself up too bad! And don't be like me and languish for a month. I had a 53 day streak, lost it on September 9, then have not been able to get any traction until this past week (will have one week of NoPMO as of tomorrow). I'm not sure what it is, but after ending a streak, we just slip back into our old behaviors and somehow justify them by telling ourselves that it's only temporary and we'll get back on track soon. We stew in our slop for a bit, wasting time and setting back our progress. This is an addiction and I think we have to fight it every day. If we've been doing it since we've been teenagers, it's doubtful that we'll ever be completely over it and we'll always have to be mindful at some level. I can't M or look at P like "normal" people can and just turn it off. I go right back to looking at the high speed internet videos (tube sites) and get into stuff that would make most people blush. Every day (and moment) we make the choice to be successful and kick PMO in the ass. I hope you are able to push past this. As you know, it's very difficult and so easy to fall back it, but it's so worth it! It's hard to have normal relationships with people if we're constantly objectifying women, feeling ashamed, and sneaking around. So start up again soon, my friend...don't waste anymore of your life on this garbage!!
     
    TooMuchTooSoon and zx125 like this.
  7. zx125

    zx125 Fapstronaut

    244
    279
    63
    Thanks,
    your right, I have been M'ing since I was a teenager and it is difficult to stop. I am back right where started before no M.O. clandestinely searching the internet, looking at the website I used to go to, feeling guilty. In the last few days I have been indulging myself in M'ing and telling myself that I am going to stop again but at the moment it feels as though
    it is just too hard to do. Its almost as it once you start its difficult to stop again and get back to where you were before.
     
  8. zx125

    zx125 Fapstronaut

    244
    279
    63
    Your right, I have been M'ing since I was a teenager and it is hart to stop. Here I am again looking at the sites I used to look at and feeling guilty. I have been indulging in M'ing in the last few days and telling myself that I am going to stop again soon but at the moment it just feels too difficult. it seems as though as soon as you go back to M'ing it is difficult to stop and get back to where you were.
     
    RockCloud likes this.
  9. zx125

    zx125 Fapstronaut

    244
    279
    63
    Since I started M'ing again I am starting to appreciate how difficult it is to give up. I have started doing things which I said I wouldn't do again like going back to the same old websites to look for pictures to M to and phoning chat lines. It seems hard to stop and at the moment I feel as though I have fallen into the trap again.
     
  10. The human failure

    The human failure Fapstronaut

    338
    352
    63
    If you're going to stop one part of PMO stop the P.
     

Share This Page