Staying active on NoFap and talking to people in real life.

I love your question—- this thread innocently stated so many of my own struggles and misbeliefs. Please allow me to ask:

Does using nofap go against your beliefs ?

Does using porn go against your beliefs ?

If the opinion of your “friend or colleague” changes with you, will you be able to forgive yourself ?

Is it better to keep up appearances to maintain their “good impression of you”?

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I think I understand the dilemma of having to explain why you are focused on overcoming a habit you shouldn’t have to admit you have ... but is that realistic ?

Aré you protecting your friends from seeing the truth ?

Or maybe protecting your ego? (Reputation)?

Its tough to be “the religious kid” on the outside while feeling you are broken on the inside ...but the need to hide occurs because sin is slimy, shameful. Should recovering from it need to be a secret ?

Lots of grown ups at work are equally embarrassed to be seen on nofap.

Or thousands of users here want to “recover in secret” from their husbands , or wives, or family , or church etc. Unfortunately the power to vanquishing this lies in honesty, transparency, and accountability with others.

Double-life lifestyles suck.

I would only say from my point of view , I tell everyone in real life the success I have seen from confronting my addictions. In fact I share that with even my customers. Last night it led to an intense conversation and bible study. I was shocked. I still have plenty that is wrong but being honest will set you free.

The truth sets you free.

 

Addiction thrives in secrecy. You don't necessarily need to be telling your colleagues and church members. But you should be able to share with someone and get help/feedback from them. I would suggest you go to Sexaholics Anonymous. It's anonymous (obviously haha) and there will be people there who are addicted to porn (most likely everyone there haha). They will share their story and struggles first which creates a safe environment for you to share. It feels great and will start to help you get rid of your shame. Also the 12 steps provide a solid path forward for achieving sexual sobriety.

 

He random, glad you reached out! When it’s time to get free (stop PMO) for what ever reason, it’s tough to know who to turn to. We all have friends but this isn’t like anything else one would normally talk about! (Although I bet at least one of those people also had a problem with porn) Often we are taught to turn to minister or clergy. But if we are involved in a church we may be hesitant to talk to our ministers. I understand your concern for sure!
I have been a member of both SA and SAA and find benefit with both. The gift of talking with people who are just like me is an immense However, they are not for everyone. Nofap is kinda like that. We talk and we understand (believe me we do!)
I have gotten great benefits from therapy as well. To be able to see/heal some of the things that got me here was pivotal as well.
I encourage you to give yourself a break and not try to be Perfect. If you decide that you have a problem and you need to do something about it I encourage you to try many different things in combination for the best result. We need people to talk to. We need structure. We need to get more belief in our self. I have found I can’t get everything I need from one source. This website and format is great at what it does. Connect people with the same problems who are trying to do something about it and encourage each other along the way! Nice.
Whatever you decide I encourage you to not make a rushed decision when it’s time to confide in someone better to start with a stranger and make a friend, then start with a friend, and become a stranger