still feel like a loser :(

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by followpenguins, Sep 13, 2020.

  1. followpenguins

    followpenguins Fapstronaut

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    i've been doing no PMO for over 30 days now. when i started this journey i was motivated by success stories of people who went from zero to hero. i started exercising, working on a business, doing an OMAD (one meal a day) diet. but i still feel so empty and unfulfilled, i still get random waves of depression, girls still reject me :( . did i just fall for a survivorship bias and overestimate the power of nofap? are there any other self-improvement methods i can do to make me a normal happy person whose motivated, ambitious and driven?
     
  2. blookes

    blookes Fapstronaut

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    the benefits don't come after 30 days bro each body moves at a different pace. You need to go within an ask. it might take 60 days it may take 100 days it may take 101 days. but u could start by stop counting the days and do some affirmations like girls like me and love talking to me. i'm gay and have no problem talking to any girl in the world and i can tell u that most females are extremely nice and they understand that it's difficult for some guys to communicate.
     
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  3. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    Yea nofap goves you boners so hard that you split concrete. Girls are at your feet due to the excess testosterone and want to suck your dick. The boss fives you a raise since he becomes intimidated by you. Oh and everyone respects you more.

    Bullshit! You are just a loaer who does not masturbate now. Nobody owes you sex or money. If you don't ask foe it you ll nevee get it. Simple as that.
     
  4. That’s a great start with the exercize and the personal goals. the thing I see a lot its people think when they stop, life will magically improve. That’s wrong, when we stop, the blindness we have from pmo is gone. We now have the clarity to work on ourselves and improve. As for motivation, that comes from consistently doing something to the point where it goes from a need to a want. If your vision for a better you is stronger than the doubt your mind gives you, there’s nothing that will stop you. Keep your head up, you’re not a loser.

    you made it thirty days, you give me hope to keep riding through the storm.
     
  5. BruceyE

    BruceyE New Fapstronaut

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    Same. I feel like a loser being addicted to porn but I also feel like a loser by just joining the forum.
     
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  6. theMotivator

    theMotivator Fapstronaut

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    30 days is just the beginning of the beginning.
    You must go on much further. Believe me.
    But you must also work on yourself. Work on your character (get rid of angriness, laziness, stinginess, vengeance etc.). Also, one really important thing is to be really thankful for what you already have (start with small things. Even that you can breathe or go to the toilet with ease is a big thing). And focus more on others, help them, and be someone, who doesn't want to receive, but one who gives.
    If you just want s.x relations with girls for your own pleasure, then, of course, they are going to hate you. You must make a goal to make a family with strong relationships between you and your wife, not only sexual but also emotional and mental.
     
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  7. lwyrup

    lwyrup Fapstronaut

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    3 points
    1. the first thing is prioritisation of goals. the idea of emotional success is mostly, if not entirely, subjective.if you aim for something mostely to entirely unreliable or uncertain, such as pleasing a woman or winning a gamble (both are,in a sense, one in the same)the odds will always be against you. instead try aiming for something in your control, such as being nice to someone who is not likewise or completing a certain activity. this not only increases your chances for success but also boosts your morale. it may sound all the more depressing but,believe me,it works.
    2.try everything from neighbourhoods to dating sites,and when you find someone try not to please them but to put up your best self before them. if you fail tell yourself that you have done your best . you will be amazed to know just how much it works,not in finding a girlfriend though,but in helping you handle yourself.
    3.the third point is... okay. i don't have a third point. 3 just seems to be a nice number. anyway,if you have been abstaining from your vices for more than 30 days you are just incredible. you are winning a war that many have lost. you are a legend.go easy on yourself. bien sea contigo.
     
  8. OBY1999

    OBY1999 Fapstronaut

    Someone who is trying to beat his addiction is a loser to you? I don't get it.
     
  9. Shambler

    Shambler Fapstronaut

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    Dude, you already are motivated. You did NoFap for 30 days off your own desire to be better, that in itself is proof you can make shit happen. All you need is a goal. Set a tangible target e.g. get a girlfriend, learn to knit, something like that and fucking go for it.
     
  10. freemindfreeheart

    freemindfreeheart Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like these are all great changes in your life, but these things don't make you better or worse as a person. What makes you better is finding your identity, and knowing who you are. I believe every person has an opportunity to view themselves as beautiful. I think there's many aspects of your life that may be bogging you down and doesn't have to do with not being in a relationship. Perhaps your relationship with your immediate family members, closeness to friends, hours working etc. For me it was loneliness and not being close to anyone, I don't know what it is for you but whatever it is you need to examine yourself and not act based on what you want, but off what the heart needs and why it needs it. Just my advice, God Bless! Your identity is important and your background is important to who you are today.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  11. Selix

    Selix Fapstronaut

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    30 days are nothing really... in about 40-50 days you will hit flatline and then you are in depression mode... you'll get through this... confidence will come naturally

    if you think you suddenly can talk to women and date them you are completely wrong... you need to learn the girls game or you'll get recjeted... but its easy to learn

    you have to work on yourself and ask the big questions for what you want in life to fill your void... you need to be happy and not needing a woman to be happy

    I hope I could help you
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  12. Max666

    Max666 Fapstronaut

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    I wouldn't romanticize about being in a relationship with a girl if I were you, that's probably what's keeping you down. A relationship wont save you.
     
    Zyra_aryZ and NF SINCE BIRTH like this.
  13. followpenguins

    followpenguins Fapstronaut

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    can i have sex or money?
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2020
    Johnthesavage likes this.
  14. followpenguins

    followpenguins Fapstronaut

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    this made my day, thank you
     
  15. NF SINCE BIRTH

    NF SINCE BIRTH Fapstronaut

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    Dindt read trough the comments yet but as someone who has been at 30+ multiple times I can say that it is completely normal to feel pretty bad even after 30 days. Just doing Nofap without trying to improve on other areas of your life isnt going to take you far.

    Have you noticed increased energy levels, strong urges, moments of bliss/increased motivation etc?

    Maybe you havent experienced it yet but the urges can be put to good use. Instead of white knuckling your way trough, go outside. Find real people to chat with. The thing is that PMO isnt really the cause of all your problems. It is more of a symptom. The first step is to beat the addiction. But it will leave a big hole in your life that needs to be filled.

    You need to find new hobbies that doesn't include getting high on porn.
     
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  16. BruceyE

    BruceyE New Fapstronaut

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    It's complicated.
     
  17. Rador

    Rador Fapstronaut

    Well Only Nofap won't help, you have to pick up other things you have to progress in life and do things which you like. I'll tell about myself I had social anxiety I hated to have any interaction with people but after 12 day streak I started to feel better I started to talk with people I won't call myself a hero but my social anxiety issues got way less I'm feeling better about myself. Don't focus too much about Nofap and NOPMO focus on other good things.
     
  18. dmrrr

    dmrrr Fapstronaut

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    The best self improvement is having God in your life bro. Trust me I was in that same situation a couple months back but then I committed myself to him and it’s just made me feel so happy inside. That feeling you get is comfort, love, and care because he’ll never leave you no matter what and he loves you. Stay strong, and just have faith brotha! You got this!!
     
    Johnthesavage likes this.

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