still M, but avoiding P

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by BobDobbs, Apr 26, 2016.

  1. BobDobbs

    BobDobbs Fapstronaut

    I binged hard on Thursday, after a few days of no PMO before that. Then I stayed really busy for a few days, around people constantly. Fapped to get to sleep when I was finally alone, and a couple times the day after that, and once this afternoon.

    But I am almost 5 days without porn now. I can definitely feel a difference in my general mood level, and less of an urge to look at porn. I think allowing myself a little release by masturbating has taken some of the pressure and craving off.

    I definitely plan on going for much longer stretches without masturbating, maybe even a full 90 days, but for now, avoiding porn feels like a degree of success to me. I know everyone's issues and goals are slightly different.

    My longest streak of no MO was 19 days, but I was still checking out some P-subs during that time. This feels much better, like I've got good momentum, not feeding the dopamine cycle nearly as much. The most important thing is not punishing myself and sinking into depression when I don't live up the goals.

    That's one thing from my experience that I think a lot of people here need to keep in mind. When you're trying to break a cycle, especially if it involves depression, getting into that hole of a black mood following a relapse is even more damaging to recovery than the odd wank here or there.
    traveller22 and Awakening123 like this.
  2. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

    This is good. I always tried to do that: MO without porn and this is the reason why I used a blocker so I don't binge on porn. This is when a blocker comes handy.
  3. Golgo 13

    Golgo 13 Fapstronaut

    Yea, I agree. Masturbation is less harmful the porn. Yourbrainonporn supports this.
    However, let me warn u that excessive M can lead to desensitization. For example: I started Ming around Day 91. I would still be horny the same day after Ming. But now at day 132 with no P but M, I noticed that it takes a week or two for me to have a full sex drive again with full sensitization. So for me M is becoming a problem.

    It's hard to quit, when u have the attitude of "oh it's only masturbation, it's not porn or anything" eventually you will simply go into a habit of near constant M.
    So my recommendation is that u only M when need to and not just for the hell of it or because u got a little horny.
  4. kk76

    kk76 Fapstronaut

    I stopped the MO as eventually it will lead to PMO.

    It's like an alcoholic saying well I'm only drinking beer, not whisky
    Awakening123 likes this.
  5. BobDobbs

    BobDobbs Fapstronaut

    Cutting out the porn leads to drastically reduced frequency of masturbation. Obviously, if I notice that frequency of masturbation starts to creep up, then I can adjust my tactic and deal with that.

    I'm not advocating that anyone just masturbate all the time. And it's better to attempt a total reboot, no masturbation at all.

    But there's not ONE single approach that works for everyone. I see way too many people here get despondent when they don't live up to their really high goals. Despair and shame are the biggest stumbling blocks that lead to repeated relapse and binging. Make peace with the occasional wank, and you're less likely to keep on masturbating after a little slip.

    Also, since I have only ever experienced anything close to PIED when condoms and/or alcohol were also involved, I'm not worried about my sex drive. Everyone's situation is different though.
    traveller22 likes this.
  6. traveller22

    traveller22 Fapstronaut

    BobbDobbs, there's a lot of practical wisdom in what you've said here. I've experience for myself, how a PMO binge can cause the onset of a dark depression - as you say, if the odd M helps one to avoid really falling out of the tree with PMO, that is surely better.

    It's risky & if we don't watch out, we can M more & more & end up slipping back into PMO, due to the association between M & P, sexual fantasy creeping in etc. You pointed that out as well.

    More power to you!

    BobDobbs likes this.

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