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Still thinking of her,causing me to relapse.Please help

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by mihmihero, Feb 25, 2020.

  1. Hey everyone! As the title says, I'm struggling a lot recently. About 7 months I had an intense interaction with a girl. Now we didn't have sex but we did bond. She was my first kiss as well as girl I ever bonded with. Things between us did not go well and I got really hurt by everything that happened. I was angry for a lot of months but at least NoFap was going well until a day when I came upon a video of a porn star that is IDENTICAL to her. She also does the things I fantasized doing with her. Those videos were poison to me, more addicting and shameful than any other but I cant stop even if I know I should. Ever since, I've been constantly relapsing, going no more than 1-2 days. I realized that I never really got over her and I'm obsessed, maybe because of how much she hurt me. I blocked her on social media months ago because i thought it would help me get over her but it didn't. I'm thinking of sending her an email, just to get some closure but i'm not sure :/ I just really want to start rebooting again and cleanse my mind of porn AND thoughts of her(at least the negative ones)
    Did any of you ever get in a similar scenario? Could you please share your experiences? Even if you didnt, any help would be greatly appreciated!
     
    fg4795 likes this.
  2. Not an expert about this particular situation but I know what it means to feel really hurt by a girl and feel like shit for months.
    It is really painful, but you have to learn a difference between what you feel and what you do.
    It is normal to feel bad about her. It is normal to suffer and still thinking at her sometimes.
    Because it is about your feeling, but at the end of your feelings there's nothing.
    But it is not normal to be obsessed by a P-star just because she look like her.
    It is not normal to ruin your life for her.
    Don't misjudge what you're feeling with what you're doing.
    It will be perfectly normal that during this streak you wil have urge to watch again videos of "her".
    The important thing is that you won't do it.
    It is sound stupid I know, but Aristostele once said "we are what we repeatedly do".
    So if you want to be a person that is not obsessed with her, act like one.
    Do not watch that videos, go to the gym instead or to a library.
    And you'll become another person and eventually you'll meet a special girl that will make you forget the previous one.
    The best of luck my friend
     
    mihmihero, Coffee Candy and Metis07 like this.
  3. Metis07

    Metis07 Fapstronaut

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    mihmihero likes this.
  4. FY_33

    FY_33 Fapstronaut

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    well, this is the same for me, but the idiot thing i did, i sometimes go P because i want to forget my ex. While, when we were still dating back then, i completely off P because she fulfilled my lust
     
    mihmihero likes this.
  5. gingeralan

    gingeralan Fapstronaut

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    I think we men get more hung up on exes that most people think.

    Been looking at trying to adopt more alpha traits myself, still struggling in the women dept but I am trying to stop that being the focus of my life.

    I think I did truly love my ex but the separation left a sour taste in my mouth and I’ll be honest it was down to my behaviour that it went sour in the first place.

    You gotta find a way past this or you’ll end up hung up for ever. Go and get some hobbies, the gym is my sanctuary!
     
    mihmihero likes this.
  6. Hi again everyone.Sorry for the late reply. I can't express how grateful I am for everything you posted. I really appreciate the advice and post you have recommended. I've read through everything and I am making a bit of progress. I am working on one last email that I will send to her. I am not expecting a reply and I dont want her back. I just want to get some stuff off my chest. After that, I will (hopefully) feel lighter and I will focus more on myself!

    Again, thank you all for your support!
     
    Metis07 and fg4795 like this.

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