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Still virgin

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Jc24, May 2, 2017.

  1. Jc24

    Jc24 Fapstronaut

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    Guys what can you advice to me coz im still virgin im 26 ryt now....share some thoughts guys
     
    Marcus Oz likes this.
  2. Well, what is your idea why you are still a virgin? Any special reason?
     
  3. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    What is wrong with being a virgin? It's better to be a virgin than to have engaged in risky, meaningless and uncommitted sex that leads to a pregnancy or disease.

    If you are having problems dating then stop worrying about that. Work on improving your self and your confidence.
     
  4. I agree. I also know how it is to be a virgin with 26. My first sex date was at the age of 27. You know that you are 1 of 100 (maybe 2 o3 of 100) who are still a virgin at this age. And a lot of curiosity has accumulated, also a lot of fears you might fail. Of course dating could be very helpful. My advice: BE PATIENT. EVERYTHING WILL COME TO YOU AT THE RIGHT MOMENT. JUST RELAX. ALL IS WELL.
     
    Jc24 likes this.
  5. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    I didn't have sex until later myself. So I too know the feeling. I also eventually engaged in risky sex due in part to me having placed such an importance on having sex. I regret that now.

    For me the feelings about still being a virgin were self loathing that I wasn't desirable and feeling like I wasn't cool like everyone else. As to the first that was wrong. I just lacked self confidence. The reality was I could have had sex if only I put myself out there. As to being cool why did I care about what other people were doing? A truly self confident man would be proud of whatever he is. He wouldn't let what everyone else is doing affect his self worth. He would chart his own course and if that meant being a virgin he would be fine with that.

    I might say another reason I was a virgin was that I was afraid of uncommitted sex. As I look back at it now this was a proper feeling. There is a lot of downside to uncommitted sex. The thing is I had these conflicted feelings. On the one hand I wanted to have sex and on the other thought it was wrong. Since the sense of wrong never went away when I did have sex it really didn't make me feel better about myself. I felt to some extent I betrayed my beliefs.

    You are absolutely right about patience. It's funny. It is good for your own mental state to be patient. And by being patient you are more confident which ultimately makes you more attractive not just in dating but in all things.
     
  6. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. 'Society' teaches that we must loose it, the younger the better, however that is not true.
     
  7. I am all about realism. Telling him to "not worry" is like telling a suicidal person to just forget about it. It just doesn't work that way. The best advice I can give him is to continue nofap, including no porn and masterbation. It's too bad I have to mention that because some here think nofap doesn't mean not masterbating, which includes edging, or any form of self sexual pleasure. Those people are lying to themselves.

    Anyway, the best advice I can give you, the creator of this post, is to continue nofap. Yes, it will be the most intense spiritual battle you'll ever face in your life, and if you have been addicted for a long time like me, around eight years, things may get crazy when you get much further into the streak. I'm still battling to this day. I cannot stress this enough: it changes you from the inside out. In the meantime, take baby steps to improve your life, financially, socially and such, but don't over exert yourself, nobody is superman.

    I remember when I was a virgin just half a year ago, and I'm not going to sugar coat it. It does suck, and not only can it suck, but it sometimes takes it up the bum too. I'm sorry you are going through this, as I strongly believe nobody should have to. You just have to continue the strong fight, ride the ocean so to speak. Look at your nofap counter as a ratio of PM to non-PM days. This way, if you slip, you will know you are not back to square one. It's all a matter of perserverance. Ultimately though, it's something that needs to be burried forever. Life is much too short for self sexual pleasure and defiling your spirit. You will face life head on like you never knew before.
     
  8. John84

    John84 Fapstronaut

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    Least quit the porn. So if you do get lucky, you don't have erectile dysfunction.
     
    Third_Eye likes this.
  9. howel090

    howel090 New Fapstronaut

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    I think you are innocent and special. Nothing need be worried, just be yourself.
     
  10. You're very right. It is better to stay calm and to go ahead with things that are worthwhile. Also, these kinds of things happen in life at some point.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 22, 2017
    Potato93 likes this.
  11. mcgrim

    mcgrim Fapstronaut

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    Enjoy life because it is far too short. I will very soon be 40 and I have never been with a woman. I can tell you that was never what I wanted, but it is how things have worked out unfortunately. For me it has gotten harder as I got older because there are times I feel like I have wasted my life waiting for nothing, but I can't change the past and nothing worth doing is easy.

    You have a choice in how you move forward everyday and no matter what life will never be easy. Even if you had been with someone intimately it doesn't mean your life would be better. Perhaps when the time is right you will find the right person but don't ever let fear rule your life because fear is a tool to keep you safe. If you let fear control you the more you fear something the more likely you will make that fear come true.
     
    grandstand 1 likes this.
  12. daveplaysguitar90

    daveplaysguitar90 Fapstronaut

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    Didn't actually lose my virginity until 25 and am now a born-again virgin through my faith. Nothing wrong with being a virgin, society misleads men to think they're less of a man and women to think they're a prude if they've never had sex. It's not right. And porn addiction definitely shatters your confidence. Keep fighting the good fight with us!
     
  13. Gotham Outlaw

    Gotham Outlaw Fapstronaut

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    There's nothing wrong with being a virgin. I think you should find someone you see as worthy of having sex with instead of running around trying to hook up.
     
  14. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    actually there's something wrong in being a virgin: you're missing the best and most complete experience you can have in your life.
     
  15. eadgbe

    eadgbe Fapstronaut

    It's easy to praise being a virgin when you only talk about its bad sides. Don't get me wrong, I'm a virgin too, but let's be honest. Sex is (probably) awesome, and every one of us virgins should at least try to do it once and then make judgements.
     
  16. Salmon

    Salmon Fapstronaut

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    First of all, why is it a big deal for you? Is it because you feel pressured into losing it because "everyone's doing it" or you just want to experience sex? It's something that you have to come to terms with. There's people who glorify sex and put it above everything, and there's others who belittle it and deem it useless. I don't agree with those extremes. There's a time and a place for everything. With nofap and a healthy lifestyle you'll be more ready, when the time comes, and confident which can result in a better experience than if you would've just slept with anyone just for the sake of losing it. Continue moving forward on your journey Jc24.
     
  17. Marcus Oz

    Marcus Oz Fapstronaut

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    The best way to get women to focus on you, is to focus on your goals.

    The more you succeed, in education, work, fitness, the more women will be attracted to you.

    I don't want a woman right now, i want success.

    You can get a woman when you win.
     
    phwrancesco likes this.
  18. Third_Eye

    Third_Eye Guest

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin. If you do plan on having sex, wait until it's with the right woman. Having meaningless sex with a random person would make the situation worse.
     
    Salmon likes this.

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