This is something I haven't seen discussed before and has been on my mind for the last several days. I'll include the caveat that there may be some trigger warnings for some. There was an incident that happened in my mid to late 20s, strictly by chance, that altered the course of my life. By this time I was already an alcoholic and sex addict but this was the gateway that led to escalation. One weekend I was at a bar when an older couple started chatting me up. At first I didn't think anything of it but after awhile my sixth sense started to act up. Long story short I ended up going to their home and having sex with the wife while the husband was submissive to me. In the realm of sex addiction I don't believe there is anything that gives you the dopamine rush that cucking another guy does. Going into another man's home and treating his wife like a plastic fuckdoll while he is off to the side like a punk hits those parts of the primal reptilian brain like nothing else. On top of that I know why this experience was especially potent for me. I had a horrible relationship with my abusive father so this was me "getting back" at him on some level. After this happened I began looking for couples on craigslist and eventually started having sex with men and shemales. Had this chance encounter never occurred I don't believe I would have ever escalated to that point. Today marks the completion of 18 months of semen retention for me which I started to completely fix my broken brain. Yet for the last couple of days the urge to cuck another guy has reawakened in my brain with a fury. I'm a little dejected that after a year and a half this particular fetish still has some grip over me. Now I'm starting to worry that it will never be completely erased from my brain. Either way it's clear to me that I'm not healed yet and there is nothing I can do but continue to detox.