Stoic Recollections and Realizations

Lives of the Stoics

I've recently completed a reading of Ryan Holiday's book Lives of the Stoics, which is about the lives of the stoics from Zeno to Marcus Aurelius. I'd heard of some of the lives mentioned in there, like Cicero and Seneca, but others were my first introduction to them and it's a wonderful insight into the various opinions and thoughts of the early stoics as they strove to define what their philosophy stood for and how it underwent such transformations in the first three centuries of its existence.

I'm not going to talk much about the biographies themselves as they're fairly short and cover the main points of a stoic's life and how their philosophy influenced them to be the person they become. Rather, I'm going to focus on a quote I came across as I read up on the life of Cato. As I was reading how Cato's stoicism made him a defiant force against Ceasar in the final days of the Roman Republic, Holiday quotes Musonius Rufus, who argued that

"If one accomplishes some good through toil, the toil passes, but the good remains. If one does something dishonorable with pleasure, the pleasure passes, but the dishonor remains."

That struck a nerve. It grabbed my attention right away because it spoke volumes beyond the context of Cato's life. Yes, it was used to illustrate how Cato's stoicism drove his republican values and led him to condemn Ceasar and be part of the assassination, but, for me, it was a reminder of the ravages PMO have on us. Every time we find ourselves in a chaser effect that leads us to constantly self-pleasure, the pleasure eventually fades away but the guilt remains. We question why we're stuck in this vortex or why we allowed ourselves to do it in the first place. Waves of regret and shame come down over us and it reminds us that such actions have consequences. We can't deceive ourselves into thinking that one time's alright because it opens the door that can't be shut again. We'd get nowhere if such deception was allowed to thrive, slowly eating away at our hearts and mind.

So it's better to toil with our streaks than to give in to one sudden moment of pleasure. As the quote above says, the toil eventually fades, but the good remains. When I was on my almost year-long streak, I felt this first hand. There was a time where I didn't even have to worry about PMO and its effect on me. It felt good to let that fear fall away and see myself in a place where it didn't control me. I felt beautiful, confident, and productive. I felt on top of the world, but like so many others, I made the mistake of letting my guard down, and eventually, the dishonorable pleasure came swooping in. Yes, it seems easy to assume that once when you've reached the good that it'll last forever, but that's our mistake. We assume things. We can't ever assume that anything lasts forever as life throws us curveballs when we least expect it. If it happens when we're assuming something then we'll have a struggle much harder than what it might've been if we'd adopted a more stoic notion of living each day to the best of our ability.

We're all Cato when we stand up to our worse enemy and face them down. If we allow ourselves to kill the PMO parts of us and work hard to clean it up, rebuild everything, and become stronger then our toils will turn into the goodness of being freed from such bondage. Between liberty and tyranny, don't we all want liberty? So then, kill the monster that controls you and set yourself free. You don't have to live under its shadow for another second. You've got the willpower to set yourself free and work toward such goodness that doesn't hold you back from your full potential.

Understanding this made me appreciate the book for connecting it back to my struggles, though I've got some ruffled feathers at the author for I've sent an email inquiring about being a research assistant to him and he didn't respond. Fortunately, my stoic dives remind me that it's not wise to dwell on such anger. I've to focus on the present and rejoice in what opportunities come my way. It's not the author's fault for not considering me as life might have another plan for me. There's no doubt that people will underestimate you or won't take you seriously either through misunderstanding or their general nature. So I'm learning to let go of my ruffled feathers and return my blue wings to their natural state.

Each day's a constant reminder that we take life for granted and that anything can change in a moment. We're not lucky in that we're granted tomorrow for fate might take us at any moment. Are we ready for such unexpected changes?

 

Problem Solving

An undeniable fact about life is the inability to escape from problems. No matter what we'll do, there's always going to be a problem that'll smack us dead center in the face. We think we'll be able to stay a step ahead, but problems sneak up on us and knock us down flat on our asses. Even tiny problems can become great obstacles if we leave them ignored for too long and they've got a chance to brew around. People my age complain about the problems they're having to face, but they don't understand that life's not a straightforward path that you can slide down to get to where you're at with ease. There are obstacles and changes along the way that make you think long and hard about what you want with your life. It's not a simple game that you can take chances on because there's no reverse card you can play. Once when it's gone, it's gone. Such an opportunity won't ever come back again.

For a long time growing up, I ignored the lingering problems of my mental health, which extended from the problems caused by childhood abuse. Long story short, it led to a mental/nervous breakdown and I questioned everything. One of the frequent questions was "Why didn't I try to solve this sooner?" "Why didn't I stop this before it all came crashing down?" It all comes down to fear. I was scared of what I'd discover if I tried to tackle it head-on. With everything I went through, I didn't want to find out something about myself that'd make me feel different from what I already felt. I was afraid of being shunned, cast into the shadows, and being abandoned to the winds. It seems silly but such a psychological fear had been implanted into me by my abuser that I was afraid of anything making me feel bad or look different. I thought of myself as a freak, an oddball that didn't have a place in society.

Such thoughts exist no more.

Yes, I'm odd but who isn't odd in their own way? Each one of us has some peculiar oddness that's only entirely known to us. The world might see some aspects of it, but we're the only ones who see the entire picture unfold. I'm no longer afraid of my oddness. It makes me unique. Instead of rejecting such uniqueness, I strive to embrace it and have it as a part of my identity. It's not been easy, though, as there are times where I've doubted myself and question if it's been worth it, only to be reassured that I didn't make a mistake and having a reminder of all that's came my way because of a faithful decision. I'm not perfect, though. I've continued to make mistakes and push some things off to the side, but it's progress for someone who used to do that to everything. Now I try my best to solve everything as soon as it comes up because I've got the tools at my disposal and want to use them.

This difference came about because I finally had enough and faced the problems in front of me. When you finally take that first step to solve a problem, everything slowly begins to come in place. You may not feel motivated to do so, but believe me, taking that first step's worth it. It's been over five years since I stopped running away from my problems and started solving them. There's not a day that goes by where I'm not grateful for such a change happening when it did because it perked my awareness of all that was wrong with me and led me down a path that I continue to be on today. It's one of the things I'm grateful for and haven't taken for granted. In the age we live in, hardly anyone takes the time to look back at all the problems we faced and ask what we could've done differently. People want to forget about these problems as they're solved but it's impossible to as reflecting on them shows how our character developed and the traits we picked up on so that we've become better people. It's like with me: I had a problem a while back with my old Snapchat account. I was unhappy with what I was seeing and didn't know how to handle it. I tried ignoring it but it'd only last a while before flaring back up and trying to present itself as the main thorn in my side. Eventually, I solved it by creating a new Snapchat account, and boom! It's been taken care of and hasn't bothered me since then. Thinking back on it, I could've done this a lot sooner and saved the trouble, but it was because of what I did that I gained a better understanding of social media. It's such a deadly place, which is why I've limited my time there as much as possible. I see more negatives than positives about it and solving the problem of cutting down on my social media presence has allowed me to take up more writing, reading, and have better mental health and strong stability than what I would've had. So now I'm not as anxious or stressed as I was weeks earlier.

The same thing can be said about what college to attend, what career to follow, etc. All of these problems are issues I've had to face at one point in time but taking what I learned from my mistakes, I was able to navigate the best path forward for me. The more I read on stoicism and take the time to ponder these things, the more I come to understand these things. It reminds me of the point Ryan Holiday makes when he points out that problem solving is just part of life being a giant battlefield we'll have to fight through. Such notions can eventually lead us to solve serious life-changing attributes that are guaranteed to help you win, which include:

• Clearheadedness
• Courage
• Discipline
• Fortitude
• Selfishness
• Sacrifice

And we lose those same wars with:

• Cowardice
• Disorganization
• Overconfidence
• Rashness
• Selfishness
• Weakness

Maintaining a difference between these attributes is crucial. These differences arise when we solve our problems early on. We're maintaining our courage by doing this rather than feeling into our cowardice and whatnot. Such problem-solving early on negates our negative aspects for as Seneca wrote in one of his letters,

"There is no vice which lacks a defense, none that at the outset isn't modest and easily intervened- but after this the trouble spreads widely. If you allow it to get started you won't be able to control when it stops. Every emotion is at first weak. Later it rouses itself and gathers strength as it moves along- it's easier to slow it down than to supplant it."

It's easier to slow down than to supplant it. Remember that the next time you've got a big decision to make. It's better to slow down and think of a way out of it than to try and ignore it, pushing it aside for a bigger mess years later. With every aspect, think about what it'll be like when you solve the problem right way versus when you've pushed aside for later. Which one do you want?

 

Duty

Although it's not obvious at first, we have a sense of duty in life. That duty may not be obvious to us at first, but as the years go by and we get older, it begins to appear to us and show us what our purpose is. I've never believed in the idea that we're just fortunate to be here and could be idle with ourselves. Each one of us has a duty to the world around us and it's our individual responsibility to nurture that duty and follow it to the best of our capabilities.

Is it easy? No. It's not easy but when we look at the numerous opportunities thrown our way, we're faced with a struggle of trying to decide what's the moral thing to do as what the moral path was, that's where our duty lays too. I remember when I was about to graduate from community college and applied to get into the university I've wanted to attend since I was a junior. I got accepted but an emergency forced me to not go through with it and I was heartbroken. I was hurt and I didn't know what to do. Thankfully my brother recommended the online college program that he attended, though we'd be doing different degrees. I applied for that and got accepted. As much as I hadn't planned for an online route, I went through with that duty as I knew that my options were limited and that was the only one I had available. In the long run, though, I'm glad I did because not only did I save a good amount of money but I also wasn't affected when the pandemic hit as I'd been accustomed to doing online courses from home.

I'm not sure if I've got any more examples like that but I'm sure everyone does. We've all had to make difficult choices but it served our duty better as the other ones would've gotten us nowhere. We've got a duty to ourselves to do what's best, even though we may not like it at first. In the long run, though, it leads us to where we'll ultimately end up at.

As I was reading my monthly devotionals from The Daily Stoic, I wasn't sure what Ryan Holiday meant by duty and how it connected to my life. Up to that point, I'd been on the same page as I'd understood what I'd comprehended, but this month's theme was the first one that I'd had to think outside of the box and look long and hard at what the Stoics meant. I like to imagine that's what the Stoics had in mind as not everything should be easy to understand. If it was then it defeats the purpose of philosophy. Epictetus argued that the task of a philosopher was to bring "our will into harmony with whatever happens, so that nothing happens against our will and nothing that we wish for fails to happen." What I took away from this was that our duty comes from our will. The individual choices and responsibilities that fall into our lap are controlled by our will and what it chooses. This can lead to a whole discussion about free will, but I'm not going to go down that rabbit hole as it's easy to get sidetracked from the focus of this journal, which is my stoic recollections and realizations.

But as I was saying, the will of an individual wants to impose itself onto the world, but it's better to respond to the world's will than your own. We're always so focused on our tasks for the day that the individual self never has a chance to turn what we have to into get to. Our duty can become not a chore but something we choose to do as we can allow our will to impose itself onto others nor divert from the duty assigned to us. It's hard to understand this and even I've had trouble figuring out what it could mean, but I think it can be best said in the words of Marcus Aurelius, who wrote,

"Never shrink the proper dispatch of your duty, no matter if you are freezing or hot, groggy or well-rested, vilified or praised, not even if dying or pressed by other demands. Even dying is one of the important assignments of life and, in this as in all else, make the most of your resources to do well the duty at hand."

I think at the end of the day, it all comes down to the fact that life's a giant assignment, and it's our duty to make the most of it while completing it to the best of our abilities. I didn't understand this at first but writing this and reflecting on it has made me see it better and I'm determined to understand more about the stoic notion of duty as the year goes on.

 

It's up to the individual to discover what their duties are in life and no two people will have the same duty as each similar one's still different in their variations. We should also see it as our duty to give to the generations before and after us as the ones before paved the way and the ones after will look up to us. So we must remember both groups as we grow older.

You're welcome! I appreciate the reply.

 

Pragmatism

First off, I apologize for the delay in writing this, but since I've started working in the past week, I'm tired from getting used to my new schedule and my monthly stoic post slipped my mind until today actually haha. I was going to wait and do this on Monday but decided to do it now. I'll be doing a post on Meditations on Monday or so and should be caught back up.

Regarding this concept, I admit I struggled to understand why it relates to stoicism. It wasn't noticeable until the late nineteenth century and it doesn't seem to connect to the stoics in any sort of way. I realized it's what the Stoics want us to think: expect the unexpected. We know life doesn't always happen as we planned but if we expect the unexpecting factor that changed our lives to be on the horizon, we can be better prepared for an event, should it come.

An example that comes to mind for me is when I didn't get to go to my dream university. I had wanted to go for years and got an opportunity to do close to graduation, but life got in the way and that whole plan went up in flames. I didn't know what to do as I'd put all my eggs in that basket and had neither the basket nor eggs at that moment. Fortunately, my brother saw the situation I was in and suggested an online university route he did. I hadn't considered that but it was my best lead for the time being so I went with it and it turned out to be a better decision than I'd expected. Now, I could've ignored that decision and had gone down who knows what rabbit hole, but I seized on an unexpected opportunity and it changed my life. It made me realize how much we depend on taking things for granted. Things change every day, every hour, but we never stop to ponder. We move forward with no regard to our ignorance.

Being pragmatic means addressing theories and the stoics weren't the ones to discuss theorems all day long. No, they were the kind to be practical and make the most of their day, despite whatever ugly truth or situation life threw at them. To be pragmatic is to focus on words and predictions. To be a stoic is to focus on life and its virtues. There's the difference.

But I could be wrong. I may be misunderstanding what angle Ryan Holiday's coming from. Maybe he sees something I don't, a vague truth that's within reach but some part of me holds back out of fear or reluctance. What can it be? I don't know for if I knew then I'd know in my heart. Since I don't, I believe it's because I've still got more to learn. We never stop learning throughout life and I'm sure I'll learn something new until I day I die.

In re-reading the sections for August, I understand better the point that I lost out on the first time around. Regarding life, we can be focused on some aspects of our lives and gloss over the fact that to live a good life, you have to live well. I think that's why Holiday focused on pragmatism as you could be the poorest beggar but if you're living a happy life then you're better off than the wealthiest man, much like the story of Lazarus and the beggar in the Gospel of Luke. Sometimes, though, we are bothered by our lives and feel weighed down. We want to release that weight, but it's better to be silent on some things as it can build your strength. There comes a time where life doesn't go your way and no one can help you figure out how to get out of it. You're on your own and unless you directly know what to do, don't say anything for you could become foolish and make the situation much worse.

It's like what our friend Musonius Rufus asked,

"Indeed, how could exile be an obstacle to a person's own cultivation, or to attaining virtue when no one has ever been cut off from learning or practicing what is needed by exile?"

During his own exile, he was banished from Rome and had no way of working, but did that stop his life? No. Rufus shook the dirt off and continued about his way. He had a student named Epictetus in the midst of all this and would bring forth Stoicism to the world. Rufus not only made the most of a bad situation but gained something out of it: a student whose work ensured the survival of stoicism for centuries to come. He understood the circumstances he found himself in and strove to make the most of such an environment. It's like with my college degree, I made the most of my online program and with the pandemic, realized I got a better deal in the long run.

We may not like the present place we're in, but sometimes, we fail to realize it leads us in a better direction in the long run.

 

Meditations

Before anyone says anything, I know I promised this on Monday, but when you're working two part-time jobs, things happen. I've been busy for three days and doing this entry before preparing for my first online lesson tomorrow. I remembered this as I did some morning stretches and figured to go on ahead and write while it was fresh on my mind.

I loved reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations and see why many others enjoy the book. It's a fountain of stoic wisdom opening your eyes to living a good, virtuous life. It's unique in not being a typical philosophical book of the era, but Marcus' personal thoughts on himself and the stoicism he practiced daily. Although he never intended these notes to be published, the fact they survived Antiquity shows Marcus underestimating their significance. It's simple, straight to the point, but deep enough to get you thinking about your perception and understanding of the world without the need for fictional dialogue or a thesaurus nearby.

Plus, it's short too. All twelve books are about 30 pages apiece so it's a quick read. It took me three days to read it from beginning to end, excluding the notes, as I couldn't stop devouring what Marcus wrote. It personally spoke to me as its wisdom gave me insight regarding aspects of my life I've worked on but reaffirmed my belief in becoming a better person. One of the best examples is from Book XI, where Marcus asked,

"Someone despises me? That is his concern. But I will see to that I am not found guilty of any word or action deserving contempt. Will he hate me? That is his concern. But I will be kind and well-intentioned to all, and ready to show this very person what is is failing to see- not in any criticism or display of tolerance, but with genuine good will... This should be the quality of our inner thoughts, which are open to the gods' eyes: they should see a man not disposed to any complaint and free of self-pity. And what harm can you suffer, if you yourself at this present moment are acting in kind with your own nature and accepting what suits the present purpose of universal nature- a man at full stretch for the achievement, this way or that, of the common good?"

What speaks to me about this is the belief in not being self-pity or concerned by the thoughts of others. For too long, I was pity about when I failed and tried to blame certain aspects, but 2020 was a year of growth and beginning to take responsibility for my mistakes. I'm human and not perfect. There'll be moments where I want to avoid the responsibility, but how can I become a better man if I do that? The gauntlet stops with me. It lays at my feet and I must stomp out the bad to improve the good. I'm the dominant force with my emotions and won't hesitate to hold us accountable to see improvement. I can't complain and seek pity when I need to be stronger. The same can be said about my view on others. I've had several friendships end yesterday, with two of them being very close and personal. Yet, neither one saw me cry and become upset as it did in the past. It's because I don't know what their circumstances are when they end it and shouldn't worry because it's their concern. If they despise/hate me for an unknown reason, it's their concern for not talking to me and trying to hash it out. They choose to ignore a problem by ending it, not realizing they're losing out on something wonderful with me, but I don't care anymore. Let them end it. It shows they never cared for me to begin with and I'd rather have a small group of meaningful friends rather than a large group that only cares about me for my looks, body, or whatever.

I'm the exiled poet from a homeland ungreatful to me. These friends were the homeland and I see no purpose in continuing letting myself be with such people. I've done several purges this year and it's time for another. I'll continue weeding out people until I'm left only with those who encourage me. Even the mutuals won't be safe when their time comes, but I'm getting ahead here.

A few chapters later, Marcus wrote:

"Live through life in the best way you can. The power to do so is in a man's soul, if he is indifferent to things indifferent. And he will be indifferent if he looks at these things both as a whole and analyzed into their parts, and remembers that none of them imposes a judgement of itself and forces itself on us. The things themselves are inert: it is we who procreate judgements about them and, as it were, imprint them on our minds- but there is no need for imprinting at all, and any accidental imprint can immadetely be erased. Remember too that our attention to these things can only last a little while, and then life will be at an end. And what, anyway, is the difficulty in them? If they are in accord with nature, welcome them and you will find them easy. If they are contrary to nature, look for what accords with your own nature and go straight for that, even if it brings you no glory. Anyone can be forgiven for seeking his own proper good."

This can extend to the same argument I made above, but I'm taking a different route. A friend of mine and his wife had a nasty fight recently and while I don't know why they fought, it's unavoidable. Couples bicker and fight, then kiss and make love. It's part of life. We experience the bad to get the good, but it's important for both persons to realize they could be in the wrong. Yes, I'm guilty for refusing to believe I'm in the wrong at times, but it's true. Marcus' thought comes down to if we're feeling indifferent, we should look at it and not linger about it. We analyze it for a while, see the judgment, and move on. We don't need it imposed on us to understand our wrongdoings. No one's bad for trying to improve themselves and if that causes fights and uncertainty, it's okay. You're not wicked for tackling such an endavor. All seek goodness and should be forgiven for causing misery. It's not perfect but you shouldn't spend your life in a rut because you were afraid of change.

Meditations delights the soul. It opens us to the veil of truth stoicism lifts from our eyes. Marcus' work can be applied in all areas of life in any situation. It's helped me regarding my self-awareness and need to change/mature. I'm 24 and have spent the past two years working my ass off to get better. Lots of good things have occurred but I'm not done. There's more to be done and I may never stop working on it. That's okay. We shouldn't stop improving ourselves under any circumstances because if we do, we'd never see our true nature.

I'm not sure what else to say as the book's one of those things you can only comprehend fully by reading it yourself. I implorde you to do so if you haven't already. If so, re-read it again. Maybe you'll pick up on something new this time around. Take time pondering Marcus' words and let them meditate your thoughts on a fulfilling life.

 

Fortitude and Resilience

A person's heart is their soul. From an early age, we strive to have a good heart so our souls are fruitful and abundant with the characteristics needed to make us good citizens of society. But it's easier said than done. Curveballs are our enemy and like to derail us from where we want to go, trying to make us give up and live a less meaningful life. It's happened to all of us countless times and, unless we're aware, it continues to thrive in the shadows.

But it doesn't have to.

One of the problems we face on this front is a lack of focus on what's ours. We live in an age where everyone's obsessed with what others have. It's not a new problem because, as far back as Moses, God commanded the Israelites to not covet what their neighbors owned. Yet, not everyone obeyed such a commandment and it's a problem that'll never go away. We tend to care more for our neighbor's garden than ours. While theirs thrives with abundant fruit and flowers, ours withers into dust.

The stoics don't want us to be optimists or idealists, but realists. If we fall into the former, we're frustrated when things don't go our way and eventually give up. A realist makes the most of each day and strives to achieve everything they set out to do. It's not easy doing this, but we're able to use reason to help us out. It's not easy for someone like me as I've always been viewed as an idealist who tends to get his head stuck in the happy gas clouds more than once, but going on this stoicism dive has made me shed some of my ideal characteristics. Now I tend to be practical when viewing the choices and situations in front of me. Yes, I'm still an Augustinian-Kant-Platonist at heart, but I keep myself grounded when faced with difficult choices.

Such abilities keep us from being too overconfident and cocky with ourselves. Failing to realize this makes us walk blindly into quagmires we can't get out of. However, it's not unavoidable. We've to experience these mistakes to learn from them. You know, we can't learn everything from a book. The seeds of stoicism are underground. We've to maintain the garden they're in to see any fruit come forth. We can't just walk away and expect it to magically appear. It's something we've got to come back to time and time again.

Coming back to our souls, the stoics believed it was protected by a strong internal fortress. We might be physically vulnerable, but as long as we maintain reasonable senses, our emotions, and soul, will remain intact. But it's easy to be deceived into letting your guard down and allow the enemy to slip in without noticing.

But how does all this have to do with fortitude and persistence?

Well, another meaning for fortitude is courage and if we dare to change ourselves, we persist in our efforts to succeed. It takes courage to admit we're wrong and seek help. It takes courage to stand up for the right thing, even when nobody else does. Anything could happen without warning and we can't stop it. There's no pause button in life. It takes courage to face our derailments and fears without throwing in the towel or whining our way out of it. Our friend Epictetus wrote,

"No, it is events that give rise to fear- when another has power over them or can prevent them, that person becomes able to inspire fear. How is the fortress destroyed? Not by iron or fire, but by judgments... [fortitude] is where we must begin, and it is from this front that we must seize the fortress and throw out the tyrants."

In the quote above, I replaced here with fortitude because you can easily assume here means a lot of things, but fortitude is courage and we have to have the courage to tackle judgment and throw out the negativity rotting our lives. Only through such action can we perceive to enter the garden of fortitude and persistene. We can easily shrug off those feelings and go about our lives, but is it worth future misery and uncertainty in the long run?

 

You're welcome! I'm happy you enjoyed it.

It takes courage to do the right thing, but even more to admit you're wrong. Regarding the well-being of others, I'm the same way as there are friends I'd do anything to make sure they're a-okay.

 

You do? o:

 

Courage is Calling

Recently, Ryan Holiday released the first book in his series on stoic virtues. He begins with courage, breaks down why we become afraid, and how we can stand up to our fears. Courage is rising above our fears and doing what's right, even when we feel unsure of ourselves. We live in an age where fear dominates the world we live in and hardly anyone is willing to stand up for what's right. No wonder we distrust the government and media. We can't be certain they're not deceiving us and no one dares to say it straightforward. Our culture's one where a toe out of what's expected can end your career. It's no wonder I've become unsatisfied with such notions and would rather live in a wigwam away from all this.

Maybe that last part was a bit much, but the point stands. We live in a society where hardly anyone's willing to stand up for principle. They much rather avoid it if it means preserving their careers, job, or family. We've become too materialistic and self-centered and need virtue more than ever before. I used to think being on the sidelines was a good thing, but I'm questioning my motives now and wonder if being neutral makes me subordinate to fear.

There's not much to add regarding courage since I've talked about it here several times, but there's a quote from the end of the book that stuck out to me and I want to share below:

"The four virtues were about instilling character- good character- so that at the critical point, a person could act on instinct. Courage is something you do not declare, like bankruptcy, it is something you earn, that becomes a part of you. Just as a writer becomes one by writing- and a great writer by writing that which is worth reading- "courageous" is a superlative paid for [throughout] a life of courageous decisions."

This stuck out to me not only because of the writing aspect but the main point. We try to declare we're courageous in life, but we can't declare our courage and not act on it. We've to earn it before either aspect's possible. I think the problem we face today is people just take what they want. They don't work hard to earn it and because they don't work hard, they fail to acquire what's needed. We can see this when it comes to virtue. How many government officials are intimidated by fear and fail to rise to the occasion when they're needed? We saw this in Cicero, who had his moment decades before the civil war but failed to gather his courage when the time came. It ultimately cost him his life. I'm sure no one wants to be in that situation, but you mentally arrive thereafter a life of weakness and living under the shadows.

For me, I've to become a good writer by writer. I've to take risks, accept feedback, and work hard to improve myself. It takes courage to admit you need help or are a work in progress, but it feels liberating at the same time. I always feel a weight evaporate when I show I'm not on a pedestal. I know I've got a long way to go, but each day, I'm improving in some little aspect, and the courage I unleash when admitting this is better than writing blindly and trying to pretend I'm perfect. No writer's ever perfect. Even if I don't make a lot of money in my writing, I'm rewarded in knowing that it'll help improve someone's life when most needed and that's enough for me.

It takes courage to admit a lot of things. Stop running away and answer the call. Let your courage guide you and you'll find life more rewarding than you first imagined.