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Stoic Recollections and Realizations

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by aspiringwriter1997, Feb 1, 2021.

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  1. You're welcome! Thank you for taking the time to read this! :D
     
    Cole96 likes this.
  2. Virtue and Kindness

    There's no denying the world we live in today's cruel- the cruelest in all of history. People are vain, politicians only care about what benefits them, not their constituents. We see people be vulgar, disrespectful, distasteful, and everything in between. We often hear the media lament about the lack of kindness and virtue in society and how these are troubling times.

    But what if it wasn't so? What if the media's to blame for the lack of what I said above with their constant pessimistic view that makes us miserable? I'm not saying it's all their fault as we're to blame for some of our problems, but I always get tired of hearing the same negative language everywhere. Sometimes we want to escape reality, not have it come barging in uninvited. I was watching some Youtube videos of a Canadian news station earlier and was shocked at what I saw: the reporters were laughing, making jokes, having a good time. Everything was cheerful and they enjoyed reporting the news. We don't have such stations here as everyone's either serious or so far off the crazy train, you wonder why we allow such people on the air in the first place.

    It goes back to what I said above, the world's a cruel place. I hear people say that it's no different now than it was in the past. That's where they're incorrect. Do you think our ancestors would've tolerated such a mindset? No. They'd have those people over their knees and spank them. People in the past were virtuous and kind due to their faith and education. They were taught the importance of being a good neighbor, having a well-rounded mind, and contributing to society's wellbeing. Modernist thinking has eroded that and if you try to defend such merits, you're torn to pieces by the Twitter mob. It's why I gave up being frequently active on most platforms and choose to spend more time writing and reading. If the world can't reverse course, at least I can.

    I've got a different mindset now than when I was younger. It's a part of life. We learn more as the years go on and our views involve. Some people are selfish, they think we can't change our views or we'd be hypocritical. Yet, to grow, we have to be hypocrites. We change and those who refuse to believe it's our instinct to do so find themselves lonely on the pedestal of a self-righteous high ground. Our ancestors knew this when they went to church, were taught a classical education, and emphasized hard work.

    As far back as Heraclitus, that's what the ancients thought. They saw virtue as the light of reason that governed the universe. The most valuable asset is not money or love, but wisdom. We learn virtue and kindness through the mistakes we make. We learn how to be a good person by messing up and how it was wrong. People today don't want to forgive others for the mistakes made years or decades ago. They want to cancel and toss them aside like a piece of meat. It's cruel and senseless. The ancients roll over in their graves and the saints shake their fists in fury.

    To achieve virtue and kindness, we've got to abide by a set of standards. Want something? Work hard for it. Don't take the easy way because it's like wiping your ass with those same standards that have been a staple of Western Civilization. You wouldn't wipe your rear end with something important to you so why do it to the world we live in? Yes, it's cruel, but it was never going to be easy. Since the dawn of humanity, we've had to work hard to survive. If our ancestors had expected everything to be handed to them, would we be here today? Nope.

    For example, take me. I didn't understand all of this as a child and thought things would be easy when I became an adult. I eventually realized that wasn't the case, I worked hard to catch up and I'm still a work in progress. I worked hard to earn my degree, spending days reading textbooks, writing papers, and exhausting myself to sheer collapse to earn two degrees in eighteen months. When I was looking for work, I spent four months filling out job applications and sending in resumes until I got a part-time job. As a writer, I spend hours researching, taking notes, editing, and looking for ways to better my craft. All of these things show me the importance of hard work and it's nurtured my virtues as I see what adults have to do to thrive in the world. My kindness has always come naturally as a result of being bullied and not wanting my bullies to win, but understanding hard work has seen it spread deeper than what I imagined. I work hard to prove others wrong and show that contrary to what some might believe, good always prevails in the end. In describing the standards to achieve kindness and virtue, Epictetus argues

    "When the standards have been set, things are tested and weighed. And the work of philosophy is just this, to examine and uphold the standards, but the work of a truly good person is in using those standards when they know them."

    Marcus compares it to a fountain of goodness we're always digging for. If we stop halfway, we'll never reach it, but with a bit of patience and strong will, that fountain will unleash itself when we least expect it. In the final analysis, we need hard work to unlock virtue and kindness because to be kind, we need virtue to guide us. To achieve virtue, we must work hard to realize what's possible to unlock it. In an age where everyone wants to go the easy route, stick to the hard route as what we think is easier isn't exactly better.
     
    Cole96 likes this.
  3. Thanks for sharing :)

    I personally don't feel like using "the media" (from social media and other new media to TV and other traditional media) as a way to measure how good or cruel the world is would be a realistic representation of it.

    As someone who studies the media as part of his career, I can tell you that what we don't see is sometimes more important than what we see. The media is just a reflection of those who have access to it, and choose to communicate through it.

    A lot of good people, just like you, don't use the media to spread positivity. So while it might seem like everyone is cruel due to how the media portrays things, it could just be that the media that you checked on that particular moment wasn't positive; but not that the world has gotten worse.

    In fact, there's a book that talks about this matter, can't remember the title though. It talks about how we are in the best time of humanity's existence (statistically speaking). We just "perceive" like things are getting worse because of the way some media outlets portray things; but we have improved a lot.

    We aren't perfect and this is not an excuse to just do nothing; I'm just saying that the world is more than what we can see in any media; it's out there in the most remote places, starting within you.

    If you can be good, anyone can :)

    Just my opinion hehe
     
    aspiringwriter1997 likes this.
  4. My friend, I always love your replies but this part bothered me as it felt like you were implying I don't spread positivity on all media. That's not true as I'm positive here when I write about my struggles and I use Medium to write articles about my faith and the positive impact it's had on me. I use social media to keep up with friends that are down and to encourage them in their times of need. I write positively in the written form, which is another form of media.

    What I was trying to point out above was how social media is so dominating and controlling and that harms humanity in general. I wasn't talking about the individual as while people like us may be positive, the whole world's a negative bowl we're floating on. I was referencing the fact that giant social media companies like Facebook have been targeting children as little as 5 and have contributed to the toxic feelings teenage girls feel about their bodies and mental health. That was the point I was trying to make, but maybe my frenzy didn't come across clearly as I got into a state of mind of writing this in quick succession without stopping to research or ponder the entire picture.

    So I hope this clears the air and that we're not in a quarrel or anything. I'd love to know the book title for future reading. :)
     
    Cole96 likes this.
  5. Hey buddy! Noooo, I didn't mean it like that, sorry if it bothered you <3

    I consider what you do to be positive, regardless of how large the audience that receives is. I was refering to the fact that "good people" don't usually go around all day documenting all the good they do. It would be vain and a lot of times it's unnecesary. We don't document enough of the good things that people do.

    In contrast, we have way too much negativity documented. We repeat the same tragedies over and over as reminders, and sure, that can be educational; but it can also affect our perception of reality.

    For example: if I always read that Africa is struggling, I will always consider this continent to be in need. In contrast, if we educate ourselves about the situations going on there, we can see the development and the challenges ahead. We have to proactively create our own positive media playlist, in a way.

    I meant "use" as in general usage, compared to the negative content. The internet might sometimes look like a hostile place, but there are good people doing good things around the world all the time, just not necesarily documented online :)

    It wasn't an attack on you or anyone, just an observation :)

    If I find it, I'll let you know the title :)
     
  6. Acceptance (Amor Fati)

    It's hard accepting certain facts about yourself. I'm mildly autistic. I've coped with mental illness. I didn't go to the dream college I wanted to attend. I'm not sure if I'll ever be in a relationship. All of these aspects seem uncommon, but they're linked together through acceptance. They're things I tried to run away from, but they eventually came crashing down. They're bits of my life I was ashamed of and hid away, unsure how to deal with them. It's never easy accepting things you don't like, but it's necessary. All of us have parts about ourselves we don't like. It took me years to accept this and when I finally did, it changed everything.

    For a long time, I saw myself as another person. I tried to mold myself into what everyone wanted me to be, but it left me exhausted. I was miserable and I couldn't figure out why. Slowly, little trinkets of truth came to me and I began finding myself again. The things I shunned because they made me odd, I embraced again. Accepting everything else in life comes on the heels of accepting yourself. It's never easy. Tears will be shed. Anger boils over. But when the emotions fade, there's a peace unlike anything out there.

    The same goes for things we don't want happening. Life's never going to go the way we want to and we can't change a thing about that. Death, divorce, pain, all the negatives we want to avoid are unavoidable. We question why they happen without understanding that it has to happen. We hear of the need to experience the bad to get to the good. It's an experience designed to test us, molding our character based on the response our mind formulates. But that's where we choose the outcome. The path we take at the road's fork will impact our lives going forward. Once we leap, we can't go back. This reminds me of an essay I've been working on regarding the concept of time in T.S. Eliot's "Burnt Norton." When the reader hears of the footsteps echoing down the passage they didn't take, it leads to a rose garden inaccessible to all because the path to it was never traveled. The rose garden represents the what-ifs we ask of ourselves. Every time we ponder such possibilities, we speculate what our lives would've been if things had turned our different.

    Is that a good thing to do?

    I say so because it brings about mistakes you avoided that could've upended your life or actions that never went beyond the drawing board which could've sent you further down a dark path. This makes me fortunate to discover my faith in God again and awaken my interest in Catholicism as I seek to become a better devout man who moves forward past his mistakes. It reminds me of what Chrysippus says,

    "This is the very thing which makes up the virtue of the happy person and a well-flowing life- when the affairs of life are in every way tuned to the harmony between the individual divine spirit and will of the director of the universe."

    Accepting everything about myself and the world around me has changed me for the better. Everything's come together as I've graduated, found a job, and I'm more confident in my writing than ever before. I accept that such actions would've never occurred had I not awoken from my slumber. I accept myself for all my faults and shortcomings, striving to do better to make up for past mistakes. I accept that I'm human and will make mistakes, but learn from them. I accept all of these things with the peace that comes with it. A happy life with God's will serving my best interests on how to live a good life in the acceptance of his love.
     
  7. Beautiful writing. Thanks for sharing this! <3

    I've been struggling with acceptance lately and this piece helps me remember why this journey is important. :)
     
    aspiringwriter1997 likes this.
  8. Meditation on Morality

    It's no secret we're going to die. We all die at some point in our lives and have death all around us until we're granted the eternal slumber from which we never awake. It's something I've been aware of since childhood and the deaths of those I hold dear and near to my heart. I lost an aunt and uncle this year so it's been a constant reminder.

    I've been afraid of death since I was little. When I realized we eventually die, I remember sobbing and wanting to live forever. I cried watching death scenes on television. My fears extend from not knowing what was on the other side and if I'd wake up again. As a child, it's scary to be pondering such thoughts when you're expected to be innocent and sweet. This fear enveloped itself into my paranoia and made me unsure of my sanity.

    But philosophy changed that. I think my love for philosophy extends from the fact it gave me the comfort my evangelical community didn't. It provided me some sense about death, but it wouldn't be until I finally embraced my interest in Catholicism and discover Saint Augustine that I realized we're dying from the moment we're born. However, this is a stoic journal, not a Catholic one so I'll refrain from going on a tangent.

    Anyway, philosophy's not just an academic pursuit in today's society, but an active force. We're always asking questions about the world around us and asking questions is an essential part of philosophical inquiry. We're curious and seek answers to satisfy our curiosity. It's a love of wisdom and a solution to life's problems. This feeling's remained with me as I read Holiday's book because not only has the wisdom been delightful to read, but it's helped me cope with my fear of dying. I'm no longer anxious when I think about it because I know it's unavoidable. Rather than being afraid of the end, I'm focusing on trying to live the best life. I seek to make the most of each day, doing my absolute best and being grateful for another chance in proving myself.

    By proving ourselves, we don't hide from our feelings. It's stereotypical to portray stoics as being emotionless, but that's incorrect. Rather, the stoics are good at controlling themselves. Yes, we still experience feelings but we don't let them consume us. We accept what's occurred and move on because stoicism's designed with dealing with these emotions right away. We shouldn't run from them and make things worse. That was my problem regarding my phobia of death. Rather than facing the feelings right away and trying to solve the problem, I kept running away from it and allowing it to grow unchecked for years. I regret not owning up much sooner, but one of the things my stoic dive has taught me is how distraction's good in the short term, but focusing's better overall.

    Seneca quipped that "It's better to conquer grief than to deceive it." We're scared of death because of the unknown and grief serves as a prologue to the main event. We can conquer it by letting go of our fears and trusting in ourselves. It's easier said than done, but those who came before us provide the guidance we seek to quail such fears. For example, look at what Epictetus said,

    "Do you then ponder how the supreme of human evils, the surest mark of the base and cowardly, is not death, but the fear of death? I urge you to discipline yourself against such fear, direct all your thinking, exercises, and reading this way- and you will know the only path to human freedom."

    All death does is contain the fear we run from. If we stop running away from the fear, we can find the path that leads to freedom- even if it only comes at the end of our lives. I won't dwell more on our morality but think about this as we go forth in the new year. Do you want to keep running from your fears and let them thrive? Or do you want to conquer them and know that in the end, you've lived a purposeful life?

    (Besides the occasional entry dealing/reviewing a stoic text I've read, this is the end of the journal. I've completed Ryan Holiday's The Daily Stoic and gained a valuable insight into myself and how stoicism overcomes others can't. This has been a wonderful journal to document my changing writing style and see my progress in several life areas I hadn't had much luck in before reading these daily devotions. Thank you all for being on this journey with me and let's walk into 2022 with the knowledge and tools accessible to gaining a free life once and for all.)
     
  9. Thank you for sharing your insights. I wish upon you a very succesful year. Please pursue writing as often as possible, it is a pleasure to read. :)

    All the best on your journey! Happy New Year :)
     
  10. The Obstacle is the Way

    One of the great takeaways I've learned this year is the need to overcome obstacles. While I've done this for most of my life, reading Ryan Holiday's book made me realize I've not done it as best as I could. Thinking back on it, there's been obstacles I could've handled better but I either gave up out of frustration or walked around it without directing it head-on. Although this served me well at the time, it came back to bite me in the ass when I had my nervous breakdown and hobbled on the path that's led me here. There are many things I could've done differently in my life, but I won't beat that dead horse as I've said this several times.

    In the book, Holiday discusses overcoming obstacles in three sections: action, perception, and will. From these three sections, we learn that we must act on overcoming the obstacles, perceive what's causing them, and have the will to not give up and be able to make the most of such a challenge. I find these three calls to action reasonable as Holiday points out that we're responsible for doing this. Each of the sections pertains to body, mind, and spirit. We can resist any temptation that becomes an obstacle no matter what as long as we stay grounded. Too often obstacles make us go into the clouds and we become detached from the reality we're supposed to focus on.

    When I read about the need to steady your nerves, that struck a chord inside of me as too often, my nerves are the cause behind my failures to overcome obstacles. I'm easily overwhelmed when things get too rough and take a step back until my mental state returns to equilibrium. The book shows me that I can be overwhelmed but I don't need to let it get to me. If I'm in control of the situation and my emotions, I can steady my nerves. Meditation, praying the rosary, painting on a canvas, reading, writing a letter/poem, all these things calm me when my nerves are overwhelmed. I could take medication to calm them, but what if I become dependent on them? That almost happened years ago and I don't want to develop a medication addiction I'm not aware of. The struggle of giving up something easy to something reliable makes me work twice as hard but I feel more satisfied.

    All of this is wrapped up nicely when Holiday writes,

    "Life is a process of breaking through these impediments- a series of fortified lines that we must [tunnel] through.

    Each time, you'll learn something. Each time, you'll develop strength, wisdom, and perspective. Each time, a little more of the competition falls away. Until all that is left is you: the best version of you."

    Learning to overcome obstacles allows the best version of me to come forth. It is up to us to see each obstacle as a challenge we can conquer and learn from. If we let outside forces control us, we run away from such obstacles instead of facing them. You have to be a bit pessimistic to achieve this but it does work. It may take years, even decades, to fix all of my younger mistakes and learn from them but as I'm almost 25, I see a chance to change my life while I've got the chance. It won't be easy but it can't be when striving to have the best path forward.

    It reminds me of a poem Walt Whitman wrote toward the end of his life and serves as a great reminder to every one of us:

    "The untold want by life and land ne'er granted,
    Now, voyager sail thou forth to seek and find."
     
  11. Ego is the Enemy

    Our biggest enemy's ourselves. We try to blame the circumstances, environment, or people we believe are responsible for things going wrong when we've only got ourselves to blame. We're our biggest enemy because we allow ourselves to put the cart before the horse. We think we're invisible and never realize that it's our ego becoming inflated. If we're not careful, success goes to our heads and makes us think we're better than what we are.

    It's a problem I've seen first-hand. When I first joined NoFap, I allowed my ego to get the best of me and my first attempt didn't go well. It wasn't until I woke up in the middle of the night ejaculating that I realized I needed to get a grip on myself. I've gotten better at controlling my emotions and keeping myself in check. When we're young, we assume the world's a mat we can walk upon, not realizing it's easy for us to have the wind knocked out of us. We have to fall on our asses to realize life's not going to go the way we expected it to.

    Ryan Holiday argues that Freud's definition of ego is one where we've got an unhealthy belief in ourselves. People argue that sounds more like confidence than ego. Yes, you're confident when you believe in yourself, but the difference between the two is that confidence allows you to be humble and keep yourself in check. If you're not humble when you're confident then you're an inflated ego. We've got to be real with ourselves as we can't let our belief in ourselves get too carried away. It has to remain firmly on the ground, never going into the clouds where we chew off more than we can swallow.

    The book is designed to serve as a reminder for us to make better decisions and eliminate our egos. Holiday argues that

    "The only real failure is abandoning your principles. Killing what you love because you can't bear to part from it is selfish and stupid. If your reputation can't absorb a few blows, it wasn't worth anything in the first place."

    If I'm a writer, I must be willing to part with my insecurities to secure my dreams. Not everyone's going to enjoy what I write and that's understandable. People will call my reputation into question given my past, but I've done absorbed blows before and come out on top. The idea that I'm not worth anything if I abandon my principles for my ego opened my eyes to the fact so many people of my generation are doing this. They care more about their ego and position in society than their principles. They forsake virtue for their selfish desires. It's why I always stood out as humble and modest because, from an early age, I was taught to never abandon my principles.

    Sometimes it was easier said than done, but I've stuck by it. I've never given into the hookup culture or been anything short of what's expected of me. I've grown into a quiet, pious man who keeps his struggles confined to the privacy of his heart and the minds of a few close confidants. My principles have guided me and long-kept my ego in check. My ego does flair up from time to time, but I'm able to shrug it off because I know better than to pursue it. Ask yourself if your ego's your enemy.
     
    bellator de Christi likes this.
  12. Stillness is the Key

    Too often, I see my friends complain about their lives and wonder what they're doing wrong. They've accomplished their goals, are successful, and have everything they've desired. Yet, they look at me and see how happy I act despite my setbacks and want to know my secret. It's not a secret, but merely common sense. My friends fail to realize they're being so busy with their lives, that they're not taking the time to find stillness. They ignore the need for solitude until everything overwhelms them.

    I was like this once. I remember around the time of my breakdown that I was obsessed with the ACTs. I wanted a great score, especially in math, so I spent six weeks going to see a teacher every morning and studying all I could. I read a practice book front to back several times and was determined to succeed. Well, the morning of the ACT, I woke up with a fever. I felt miserable. It was like I'd been run over by a bus. I went to school and everyone (my best friends, teachers, and the ACT instructor) wanted me to go home to recover, but I refused. I made a vow to take the test and went through with it. Afterward, we went home for the day, but I remember collapsing as soon as I got to my room. I missed school the next day because my body was too worn out to do much. I felt miserable. I'd let my body exhaust itself because I didn't take a moment to breathe during those six weeks. Every moment not focused on schoolwork was centered around the ACT. I ignored my brain signals for a rest and I had to develop a fever from severe burnout before I was finally forced to comply.

    This was an early lesson on the importance of stillness. When I began my stoic dive and as recently as being put back on my anti-depressants, I (re) discovered why stillness is the key to a fulfilling life. In an age where all we do is the usual routines like work, eat, sleep, etc. it's nice being able to devote some time to yourself in body, mind, and spirit, and discovering how you can improve yourself. Some of the things we can do include:
    • Rising above our physical limitations
    • Finding hobbies that rest and replenish us
    • Developing a reliable, disciplined routine
    • Spending time being active outdoors
    • Seeking out solitude and perspective
    • Learning to sit- to do nothing when called for
    • Getting enough sleep and reign in our workaholism
    • Committing to causes bigger than ourselves
    One of the things I enjoy doing when seeking stillness is journaling. It's therapeutic taking the time writing your thought out on a page that's refreshing in letting your mind unwind from a busy day. I find gardening, reading, and spending alone time to be helpful because it keeps me still. It allows me to turn away from what I've been focused on to focus on me. I've seen it first hand and it's why I've become more solace in how I spend my time. It's why I've cut back on my social media and don't care much about it anymore. It's too obsessive and when something that's supposed to be fun becomes a chore, you know you've got to take a step back.

    Throughout reading Ryan Holiday's book, he reaffirmed what I knew before, but raised an interesting point. While he's not religious, he mentioned free will and how the choice to do good lies with us. While he and I disagree on the nature of free will in humanity, we both see we're free to do good. We're responsible for our choices as we alone only decide what we do. I find that insightful as I sometimes struggle to bridge my interest in Catholicism with philosophy, but I felt that was one of those times the bridge came perfectly together without much issue.

    One of my favorite passages in the book talks about how

    "A person who makes selfish choices or acts contrary to their conscience will never be at peace. A person who sits back while others suffer or struggle will never feel good, or feel that they are enough, no matter how much they accomplish or how impressive their reputation may be.

    A person who does good regularly will feel good. A person who contributes to their community will feel like they are a part of one. A person who puts their body to good use- volunteering, protecting serving, standing up for -will not need to treat it like an amusement park to get some thrills.

    Virtue is not an abstract notion. We are not clearing our minds and separating the essential from the inessential for the purposes of a parlor trick. Nor are we improving ourselves so that we can get more richer or more powerful.

    We are doing it to live better and be better."


    A person seeking stillness ends up making the right decisions because they're not rushing. They're taking the time to ponder all their options, hopefully capturing a mistake before it comes to the surface. They make times from their busy lives and schedules to unwind, let go of the baggage, and focus on themselves. You could paint, go on a hike, take up dancing, whatever. Stillness is always available for you to grasp with the reality of doing too much. It's okay to step back, not accomplish all of your goals, and still have a fulfilling life. Why obsess with all of that when no one will remember when we're long dead and gone? Unless you become a famous person or something, it'll not be worth it when that final eternal rest comes along.

    Do you truly want to live a life chasing all you want and be miserable or one where you're still long enough to find that internal peace and have more fulfillment? Ask yourself that as you go about your day. Stop to smell the roses, feel the breeze, listen to the birds. Focus on now instead of later. Be still.
     
    bellator de Christi likes this.
  13. Discourses

    I remember a while back I said I wouldn't quote Epictetus, but I realized my mistake when I meant to say Epicurus. It's understandable as the names look similar and it's easy for us to get them mixed up. I apologize for that and not recognizing it sooner.

    Lately, I've not been on social media much. All of the toxic, negative energy's too much for my peabrain to handle so I've chosen to unplug in favor of having more mental stability in my life. I've downsized my social media outlets and seek not to spend much time posting about everything when trying to live in the present and I love it. I wish I'd done this much sooner as it could've saved me a lot of trouble as a teenager. I remember my mom not wanting me to join social media but my sperm donor pretty much forced me into it and I wish I'd remain firm in my convictions. If I was to ever make a new Facebook or anything like that, I'd set the bar and my own comfort level, but that's beside the point.

    In an age where we're all obsessed with media and whatnot, it's like what both the Romans and President Snow understood: Panem et Circenses or Bread and Games. It's a superficial appeasement where we erode our virtues n favor of food and entertainment. We become distracted by the artificial and fail to notice what's in front of us. Cicero, Juvenal, and other Romans understood how such aspects brought power and it's crazy to think both sides of the coin are capable of this.

    It's why I strive to read and keep myself away from the online world outside of writing and my ability of controlling what I see. People are easily persuaded today that there's a lack of individuality in society. It's like you're expected to become a mold on one side or the other without any room for individuality. I dread to know what the future's going to be like, but as the stoics always remind me, I shouldn't worry about that. Why fret about these aspects mentioned above when I can die tomorrow? What's good worrying about what's out of my control when it won't matter when I'm dead?

    I wish more people would think that way as it's satisfying to keep myself in check by always reminding myself to focus on what I can control. Reading Epictetus this week was the reminder I needed to not forsake this method as it's done me plenty of good to the point I wish I'd discovered stoicism when I was going through my nervous breakdown, but that's besides the point. One of my favorite quotes from him is one where he suggests,

    "Free is the person who lives as he wishes and cannot be coerced, impeded or compelled; whose impulses cannot be thwarted, who always gets what he desires and never has to experiences what he would rather avoid."

    That's the freedom we'd experience if we let ourselves get away from the distractions we're facing. Being a free person is one who can live their own life and not be forced into a position or place they're not comfortable with. In an age of false illusions and misperceptions, focus on yourself. People might accuse you of being selfish but it's better to know yourself and be meek than to know others and be overstretched. I was like that once before and it took diving to the bottom to realize this. We're human so we're going to be stubborn in our ways, but sometimes having that giant kick up the rear's what we need to get back on track.
     
  14. Discipline Is Destiny

    As humans, we're capable of adapting to situations and one of the things we must adapt to is interruptions to our daily habits/disciplines. We're never going to have the same day each day. There's always going to be variation in some shape and form waiting to happen. Most people I know become frustrated when their daily routines are disrupted. I relate to it as it's happened to me before, but I've learned how to control my frustrations and still make time for my routines.

    I often write during the mornings, but if I'm having to clean the house or help out with something, I'll sometimes write in the afternoons or not at all. Even if I don't necessarily write anything creative, I can still write a message, journal, or edit and that would fill the obligation. I've learned the importance of temperance with myself and my emotions. It's crucial not to let the emotions carry you away as it leads to rash decisions and drags your mental health to scary places. I wish I'd discovered stoicism when I was a teenager as it might've cushioned the effects my anxiety and depression still try to unleash without my medication.

    There's days where not everything goes well and I feel overwhelmed or let down. I used to let my emotions get to me and make me depressed, but now I keep myself busy and not think about my feelings. The stoics said that it was important to find stillness in your body, mind, and spirit to achieve a well-lived life. It's the theme of Ryan Holiday's newest book as it focuses on the successes and failures of those dealing with temperance. Not everyone will succeed, but if you've the will power, you can motivate yourself to make the effort.

    One of my favorite passages is from the beginning of the book, where Holiday argues:

    "The fortunate as well as the unfortunate must figure out how to manage their emotions, abstain from what should be abstained from, [and] choose what standards to observe."

    Even if your life's not gone to plan, you can still manage your emotions, and observe the standards they want to observe. It doesn't matter what side of the coin you're on or your position in life. As long as you can control yourself, you can control what to do and not do. Take trying to do NoFap. It's considered a form of temperance as you're striving to abstain from PMO and control it from affecting your emotions and standards.

    Is it going to be easy? No.

    Will there be times you fail? Yes.

    Can you keep on going? Absoutely.

    As long as you've the will to do it, you can strive to moderate yourself from vices to follow the virtuous path. So many people are too persuaded by all the vices easily available around them. They don't see the importance of self-control until they crash off the wagon and derail their entire lives. Even if it's just through one action, as long as you maintain a beneficial habit, you can discipline yourself to living a more meaning life.
     
  15. That One Should Disdain Hardships

    Having recently read a collection of Musonius Rufus' lectures, it's a shame he's not as well known as Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, or Seneca because unlike other stoics (and philosophers in general), Rufus is quite practical in his advice and I love how straightforward he is in presenting philosophical arguments. There's no doubt that the stoics I mentioned above are also practical, but Rufus helps others who aren't as well-versed in philosophy as he considers philosophy to be something freely available to everyone through practice and reflection.

    In a sense, philosophy for Rufus was nothing more than rules for life, a guide of what to do and not do for a virtuous life. It reminds me of myself in a sense because, for many years, I felt lost and unsure of myself. While I'm on track and have gotten a sense of my identity and purpose, sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a neverending woodland. There are times when I feel normal outwardly, but inside, I'm screaming my lungs off.

    Fortunately, as I've come to learn, philosophy (like Stoicism) can be used for mental healing. In some sense, I do feel healed through philosophy. I've always been curious about the world around me and sought to understand it. Even when people have tried to stir me away from philosophical inquiry, it's impossible not to ponder. Philosophy has always been in my blood as I've always enjoyed discussing things like aesthetics and cosmology, whereas my friends were more interested in things like the newest anime or video game.

    Even with NoFap, it's been a chance to further my philosophical outlet. Have I been perfect? No. There are lots of times I know I could've done better, but each failure or mistake allowed me to see what wasn't working and adapt to better enforce my structure. I've done well lately and it has promise, but I know better than to put the cart before the horse and assume it's foolproof. Being knocked down on my ass a few times has humbled me about this.

    There's a fragment from Rufus that I believe everyone trying to clean their act can benefit from:

    "If one were to measure what is agreeable by the standard of pleasure, nothing would be more pleasanter than self-control; and if one were to measure what is to be avoided by pain, nothing would be more painful than a lack of self-control."

    Philosophy grants the individual self-control. In trying to live a virtuous life and do well for ourselves, we come to realize how important it is to control our actions and self. Yes, as an adult, you're free to do whatever you want, but do you want to? Just because you've unlimited freedom doesn't mean it's beneficial for you. I find it better to not have total freedom if it means being capable of controlling myself. It's up to the individual to decide if they'd rather ride a freedom wave that crashes bitterly onto a shore or abide by a form of measurement that restricts them, to an extent, but provides stability.
     

  16. Holiday is ok, Stoicism is ok. The major issue I have is that if one leans into philosophy instead of faith, it's a problem. Faith is the solution to the gaps where the stoic fails. Either the Bible is true, or it isn't, but the stoic cannot ultimately find rest without faith.

    If the stoic looks at the impermeability of life and accepts it, then it is a seriously disciplined action. Yet, if they are wrong and become indifferent to God, indifferent to repentance, then the indifference is a liability.
     

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