Stop calling yourself an addict!!!

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ilovesex, May 13, 2019.

  1. ilovesex

    ilovesex Fapstronaut

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    I always read i will always be addicted, i always have to fight. I AM!
    Did you know that you can decide what you are? That you dont have to identify with the history of yourself? That by repeating your story you strenghten your ego and that you make it more hard for yourself than you have to?

    This is the case.
    You can be whatever you want.
    In spiritual practise you learn, no you feel its all a suit you are wearing. Nothing more. You are not your past, not even your charakter and not your wins and losts.
    You are the Soul. You are the awerness!
    (I recommend to read Power of Now)

    Its really absurd that they teach this in the 12 steps programs worldwide.
    ,,I am John and I am an alcoholic.''
    Yeah repeat that a thousand times and you will stay like that.

    I thought I am shy, weak, i cant get woman, ever be wealthy and so on...
    Now I know the opposite.

    Just watch your thoughts and what messages you give out to the universe.
    The next time you catch yourself identifing with your problem just twist it up.

    I am a healthy dude who lives pornfree because i enjoy having real sex!

    Period.
     
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  2. MuscularSherlockHolmes

    MuscularSherlockHolmes Fapstronaut

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    :emoji_thumbsup:

    The thing is not this simple. Being an addict doesn't always mean a negative thing, and accepting it could sometimes help you recover better. But I agree, most people use it as a crutch to spin their wheels and get nowhere.
     
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  3. ilovesex

    ilovesex Fapstronaut

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    Explane me what i am missing please.
    Accepting is the first important step. After that what is the benifit from identifing with your problem?
    Couldnt it be that it is more constructive to identify with the new me? :)
     
  4. MuscularSherlockHolmes

    MuscularSherlockHolmes Fapstronaut

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    Addiction is like a disease (which may be a simple one in one case, and a very complex and dangerous one in another case). Simple fixes don't work sometimes, and it is a multi layered thing. Depending upon a person's background, his or her reboot strategies will vary. For example, somebody who is a sex abuse victim, will have to deal with their addiction in a different manner than the average Joe beating his meat day in and out. Going into details wouldn't help in a generalized manner, and is very specific to the individual. I hope you understand what I mean.
     
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  5. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    Hi, I’m John and I’m an alcoholic.
     
  6. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

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    I definitely see both sides of this . You're right , I feel like you should definitely seperate yourself from the addiction , because that is not
    The real you , it's the addiction . I feel why lots of people still associate ( hi I'm Brandon, I'm an alcoholic) with this is because just when you think you have the addiction beat , and you feel like it does t have a crutch anymore on you is when it sneaks back. So in a way you have to maybe keep an eye on it , or keep some extra soldiers on the watch for that sneaky fucker !
     
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  7. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    The reason why they make people say that they're an addict at AA meetings is to fight one thing: Denial.
    You first have to admit that you have a problem before you can fix it properly.

    Also you can't just think yourself to be anything, that's fairytale-bs. I'm 27, I can imagine that I'm 60, I'll still be 27. Some facts are facts, just like the fact that we're addicts around here.

    Of course you frame your perception with the vocabulary you use but you have to in order to make the right choices. Doesn't mean you're clinging to the past, more that you're not ignoring the truth.
     
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  8. I respect your view point

    I identify better with rigorous honesty, it has worked better than the omissions and denial i practiced before my eyes were opened
     
  9. ilovesex

    ilovesex Fapstronaut

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    Uhh the reality and truth argument.
    I recommend you to look the topics up where you understand that you are ,,god'' and create everything.
    And when you see that this awereness is what people get healed or run marathons at the age of 80, you might wonder how much of your fixed reality is variable.
    Dont worry i understand you fully and thought like you a few years ago.
    Im saying that for your benefit do what you want with it :)
     
  10. Ronila

    Ronila Fapstronaut

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    Not how addiction works.
    Its more like being diabetic, person must accept they are diabetic and pay extra attention to make sure their blood sugar stays normal.
    You can say I am not diabetic, I decide what I am a million times - it will not stabilize diabetics glucose levels. Same way it will not stop people from watching porn or using drugs
    In fact being all aggressive and vocal about your willpower makes you feel even worse when you fail.

    One of the biggest problems with addictions is that people see them as nothing serious, "I can just stop" they say - "anytime". Oh I can just "wish it away" and overpower it will my iron will"
    For this reason smart people realized that first step in recovery is getting the person to understand that they have an addictive behavior and and they really cant stop, and that is why people repeat it.

    When I read things like these, all I can say is, there is lack of understanding about addictive behaviours here.
     
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  11. ilovesex

    ilovesex Fapstronaut

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    Haha the sneaky fucker i totally feel you :D
    You know good that you put it this way.
    This is where i can be more clear.
    Its all about consciousness.
    Yes first you are conscious about what your destructive pattern is and that you want to change it.
    But after that there is no point in identifiing with it.
    Because with my approach you get to the level where you are conscious in most of the moments.
    You decide in that moment who you are and how you want to behave.
    And as i speak it out i realize this is not so common. It comes with constantly watching your thoughts and feelings, from daily spiritual practise.
    So this maybe why it sounds unpractical :D
    But maybe another desirable goal :)
     
  12. ilovesex

    ilovesex Fapstronaut

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    PS i know stuff like this can sound out of space or maybe cocky so i want to add the ,,i wouldnt belived it either before, so if can do it you can do it.''-factor it.

    2 Years earlier i did my money with girls i pimped and i was violant to them, myself and a lot of other people.
     
  13. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    I used to think like you a few years ago too. I don't buy into the post-modern crap that reality is all in our heads. And I know you don't believe that either. If you do, go ahead and blow up the head of President Trump right now with the power of your mind and give the world some interesting news.
    There is an outside reality, a universal truth, there is nature and it isn't controlled by your consciousness. And you're not God, you're the image of him. If you think you're God you're making the same mistake as the devil. And no, I'm not Christian, or part of any religion.
    If you would actually believe that you're God, that means you think you're all-knowing and all-powerful which is psychopathic, and I doubt that you are.
     
  14. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    Totally wrong.

    Think like like that and you will relaose within the 1st year.

    Always know you're an addict, akways know porn is dangerous, for the rest of your life.
     
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  15. Blackjedireturns

    Blackjedireturns Fapstronaut

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    Great job friend. Amazing words
     
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  16. My name's Dakshinamurti, and I *AM* an alcoholic. I am a methamphetamine addict, cannabis addict and a pornography addict.

    I see where you're coming from but for me, if I forget that I'm an addict, I'm fucked. All it takes is one drink, one pipe, one joint, or one PMO session... and I am truly fucked. Some people benefit from not seeing themselves as an addict; I am not one of those people.

    For having that knowledge, I am free to go about my life. If I deny or forget that simple fact, I lose everything.
     
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  17. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    In fact the OP relapsed three weeks ago. :rolleyes:
     
  18. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    I'm an addict. Sorry guys. But I'm an addict, addcit, addcit :D
    I might not watch P anymore, but I get easily addicted to anything. Computers, sports, food, alcohol, cars, success, money, tv shows... once I like something, I can't get enough of it.

    Some people are underachievers, some are overachievers, some procrastinaters, downers, hot heads, cowards, narcissists... and I'm one of the addicts.
    All of us can be succesful in life, we just struggle with different issues. And we all have our own little super powers ;) addictive personalities are more comfortable with taking risks and are usually talented leaders in business.
     
  19. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

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    Nice topic, because everyone has their own vision or belief about that. I personally think at the moment that I am an porn addict, thats my reality at the moment. Or if you want me put it in your poin of wiev: I Am recovering porn addict. I think that you can identify as an addict (in a simple manner), when you have to resist or say no to somekind of continious act, that isnt good for you. I am not an drug addict, because I dont think about that at all, and dont need to tell myself that stay away from it. But with porn I have to do that. Most common addiction that most people have is overthinking.
    Hard topic to go in depths.
    And if I conguer my addiction i can say I was an porn addict. And no, you are not God. Sry to disappoint you.
     
  20. I reckon being an addict, like a proper addict, actually sets us up for doing incredibly great things so long as we save ourselves before our life is completely ruined. The way I see it, if one can get through porn, meth, alcohol withdrawal... they can pretty much endure any kind of pain, and as a result, achieve anything they set their hearts on.

    The problem is there often isn't enough connection to the heart to find anything to set it on. Not at first anyway. I'm glad to have found this community of people who are intent on 'getting there,' wherever 'there' is.
     

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