stopping with PM x real sex with wife

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by benRahamin, Jul 18, 2018.

  1. benRahamin

    benRahamin Fapstronaut

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    Sorry, but I did not find a sufficient answer on the forum. My goal is to stop pornography and mastubation. Sex with my wife and orgasm, can it be harmful?

    thanks
     
  2. JJackson

    JJackson Fapstronaut

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    Not inherently but if you're just replacing PMO with it then its not good. If you're having sex all the time and just to satisfy the urge then its not great. If its not that and not all the time its fine. But you are overall better off just stopping everything for a while, fighting off urges rather than satisfying it in a different way.

    Also important to see how you feel mentally right after. If your mind is in a similar state to the one you're in after PMO then you might wanna try to avoid it for a while.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2018
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  3. benRahamin

    benRahamin Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the answer

    usually once a week, but does not remove the desire for M. Real sex with my wife is very different from pornography
     
  4. Lawolf

    Lawolf Fapstronaut

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    I am giving you an answer which i found in a thread about Premature Ejaculation (which unfortunately I suffer from) :
    "You are physically and mentally chasing the orgasm instead of being above it. If you are strong enough to control yourself from fapping, you are strong enough to control yourself from cumming. Sex is no longer a gateway to ejaculation for you, instead it should be a moment you share with your girlfriend".
     
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  5. benRahamin

    benRahamin Fapstronaut

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    Sex with my wife is frustrating, I wish she were like a porn star. this is unfair to her, I feel guilty for thinking so, she does not deserve to be treated this way
     
  6. Lawolf

    Lawolf Fapstronaut

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    Dont be depressed mate, i am suffering from Premature Ejaculation and my wife seems that doesn't have libido at all and has vaginismus.
    But you know what? i took this situation to help me. My wife is not an object to satisfy my urge ..she is a human !I just want to give her love, not focusing myself. When you give you always get. If she is not in the mood- so be it , i dont want to be an ego person.
    But you know what? for the first time last week we make up and i told her i dont want to penetrate, just to have fun- and she was like an animal! She kissed me and touched like never before.. ! I didnt penetrate and didtnt cum- but it felt amazing.
    I belive that is the key here. We will make sex soon, but only when i only want to give her love.. and trust me , any woman can sense it.
     
  7. benRahamin

    benRahamin Fapstronaut

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    incredible! my wife also suffered from vaginismus (now controlled), and also has low libido. she always has orgasm (penetration + massage in the clitoris), even so, she has no desire. I know that part of the responsibility of the problem is mine. I need to make her feel human, like you did.
     
  8. Lawolf

    Lawolf Fapstronaut

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    That’s right mate this is the key here. I have to tell you that you are in a better place then me. My wife even do not know what is orgasm , she even don’t like so much the touch down there( maybe self esteem issue ) . But this is my wife and it’s our journey together to make our sexy life enjoyable and to just want to give everything to each other. Good like in your own journey ! You can PM me if you wish
     
  9. With my wife doesn't seem to be wrong for us. We feel more connected now than before and it is not just a release for either of us.
     
  10. Lawolf

    Lawolf Fapstronaut

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    Can you explain yourself please ?
     
  11. Lawolf

    Lawolf Fapstronaut

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  12. benRahamin

    benRahamin Fapstronaut

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    Lawolf,
    the reason for my wife's vaginismus was childhood trauma, the psychologist used the EMDR technique, only eight months of treatment. the problem gradually disappeared.my wife still feels a little scared at the time of penetration, though, does not block. Do not give up, have a solution!
     
  13. Oh, I meant as far as me and my wife doing things together doesn't seem to be harmful, at least in our case. We have grown more close in all things and even in what we do together. There is definitely want on both sides and the closeness is great.
     

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