Story of my painful Addiction to now FREE & in CONTROL

[PleasureToPain]

I want to start off by saying hello to everyone in here and to just say THANK YOU to NoFap for this powerful platform to really help people. I know people are struggling and it legit hurts me because I’ve been through it all with my addiction and really know all the drowning emotions that comes with it. With that said I’m here to tell anyone reading this that feels suffering/pain/guilt/disgust/loss/weakness/problems to absolutely know there is another side of you, that you WILL reach when you are no longer OUT OF CONTROL………YOU’LL FEEL AT PEACE AND IN CONTROL. Okay here’s my story…..

I started watching porn/masturbate when I was around 12 but I didn’t know I was addicted for years until there was a list of things that I ended up taking notice of. One of my earliest memories of noticing the problem was the random urges to want to watch porn and masturbate because I wanted to “feel” normal because I was stressed out. From there I had the ignorance of thinking it was totally normal (especially how society/media makes porn seem good for the body)……..let me tell you right now, i was on a damn hamster wheel. I would feel stressed and wanted to feel “normal” and “relaxed” but funny thing is, I’d watch the porn and masturbate to then feel absolutely terrible and the cycle would just be reoccurring. It had full control of me. The wild thing was I knew that it would make me feel horrible so I would try NOFAP to feel better……..wasn’t able to go even 1 day! When I tell you I think I tried NOFAP around 1000 times I’m not even joking you. It got to a point where I did the porn blockers/would have alarms on my phone/would lie to partners and family/would even set stuff up to make sure I wouldn’t even have the chance to masturbate or watch porn……..somehow I always found a way! I have dealt with PIED and that I believe was the pure gasoline to my Porn Addiction. It spiraled me and created a part of me that just felt so down and so unmanly and that to me, that was the worst feeling I’ve ever had. There was so many times I would question myself “am I ever going to be able to stop?” “Am I going to be married and be still addicted to porn” and to me that felt so defeating. From having PIED with many partners that led to me feeling a certain way about myself and having to never be present and never going after what I really wanted to do and the feeling of the grip of porn addiction had on me for PAINFUL YEARS…. I’m here to tell you I have found myself that put me in complete freedom and complete control. It’s been about a whole year without watching Porn or Even masturbating. Before that, my best NOFAP streak was 27 days I have gotten my confidence back, I’m in an amazing relationship, I feel connected, I’m present, I’m Calm, I can’t even believe to say that I have no urges at all to even want to watch porn and masturbate which to me is wild because there were times where I didn’t want to at all and would tell myself “don’t do it! and I would almost wake up form a daze knowing I just did it and would get so down on myself. There were times I would be doing and it and during I would tell myself I can stop right now but the voice in my head would say “it’s fine, just do it today and then you’ll start tomorrow”…….the scary part of it was I did the same thing yesterday! I’m completely free from Porn and Masturbation and it seriously feel like you have your life back. I want to help as many people as possible so I’m Looking to start some media where people can find motivation in it that really helped me understand everything. I know how much some videos helped me by someone talking about there situation so I actually feel compelled to want to do this for the people I truly want to help that are struggling. You can do it, I will be updating a lot on this website and for anyone that wants more info on where I’ll be posting some motivation nofap content just message me and I’d love to be someone who has helped someone. Thank you again NOFAP and thank you to everyone who read this I appreciate every single one of you! Be strong, know your possibilities, and be FREE!!

**UPDATE**
ALOT OF PEOPLE HIT ME UP FOR MEDIA SINCE SO MANY PEOPLE COULD RELATE SO I DECIDED TO DO A VIDEO MORE IN DEPTH ON HOW I STRUGGLED WITH MY PORN ADDICTION! HOPE YOU ENJOY! WOULD LOVE TO GET FEEDBACK FROM ANYONE ON IT IF WAS HELPFUL!

 

[0xADi90]

Congratulations!

 

[Gabriel Knight]

First of all thank you for sharing your intimate story with us, and i am glad that there are people who are successful solving this issue. This is what our community needs, people who are willing to share and help using their experience, because to be honest, you can read bunch of books, nothing can beat the personal experience, it is the most quality information we can have. Yes, we are all different, but by comparing the info we get, we can make the modules for ourselves from different sources and find the win combo. Of course some would eliminate only some parts from their lives, some modify it, but it is what's good about this online resource, you choose what you think is best for you, and apply certain strategies.

 

[PleasureToPain]

Congratulations!

First of all thank you for sharing your intimate story with us, and i am glad that there are people who are successful solving this issue. This is what our community needs, people who are willing to share and help using their experience, because to be honest, you can read bunch of books, nothing can beat the personal experience, it is the most quality information we can have. Yes, we are all different, but by comparing the info we get, we can make the modules for ourselves from different sources and find the win combo. Of course some would eliminate only some parts from their lives, some modify it, but it is what's good about this online resource, you choose what you think is best for you, and apply certain strategies.

100% agree! Personal stories that somehow have some relatability to it can really help guide us to understand the possibilities! And that’s something I got really interested in! I’m very eager to start planning up a ton of ideas to create some amazing media for my fellow fapstronauts to give a good motivation where they can find peace in knowing there was somebody just how they felt and that there is light at the end of the tunnel! Thank you my friend for your kind words!!!

 

[Deleted Account]

Wow very motivating. Your story mirrors mine. I'm in the process of removing porn from my life for good. Started again 9 days ago and I'm not going to look back. Thanks for sharing your story and I'm looking forward to the light. I've been in the dark for too long.

 

[PleasureToPain]

Wow very motivating. Your story mirrors mine. I'm in the process of removing porn from my life for good. Started again 9 days ago and I'm not going to look back. Thanks for sharing your story and I'm looking forward to the light. I've been in the dark for too long.

I’m sorry to hear that my friend!! I promise you’ll get there! Trust me when I say that I know how down and dead inside it can make you feel alone with all the strong emotions! I’m just happy you’re on the journey and 9 days in!! I fully believe you can make it happen! I’ll friend you and hopefully you can keep me updated! I’m here for you and with you!

 

[Babson]

Congratulations brother. So happy for you. I want to ask you a question. You mention in your note that you’ve experienced “PIED” before. But now you’re in a relationship. Does that mean that your pied is gone, if so then how long does it take you to be cured?.

 

[Neverfeelingdownagain]

Hey dude thank you for that post. It is so relatable. Especially the part about the hoards of short streaks and the feeling of hopelessness. The novelty of NoFap leaves and you’re stuck in cycles of failure feeling like it’s just who you are (the short streak guy). I have had week to 10 day to 1 month streaks, but not a year.

I don’t wanna be the guy that asks for the same old tips and tricks. How do you get the itch out completely?

 

[Redemptionisrequired]

Well done!

 

[agentrs11]

I want to start off by saying hello to everyone in here and to just say THANK YOU to NoFap for this powerful platform to really help people. I know people are struggling and it legit hurts me because I’ve been through it all with my addiction and really know all the drowning emotions that comes with it. With that said I’m here to tell anyone reading this that feels suffering/pain/guilt/disgust/loss/weakness/problems to absolutely know there is another side of you, that you WILL reach when you are no longer OUT OF CONTROL………YOU’LL FEEL AT PEACE AND IN CONTROL. Okay here’s my story…..

I started watching porn/masturbate when I was around 12 but I didn’t know I was addicted for years until there was a list of things that I ended up taking notice of. One of my earliest memories of noticing the problem was the random urges to want to watch porn and masturbate because I wanted to “feel” normal because I was stressed out. From there I had the ignorance of thinking it was totally normal (especially how society/media makes porn seem good for the body)……..let me tell you right now, i was on a damn hamster wheel. I would feel stressed and wanted to feel “normal” and “relaxed” but funny thing is, I’d watch the porn and masturbate to then feel absolutely terrible and the cycle would just be reoccurring. It had full control of me. The wild thing was I knew that it would make me feel horrible so I would try NOFAP to feel better……..wasn’t able to go even 1 day! When I tell you I think I tried NOFAP around 1000 times I’m not even joking you. It got to a point where I did the porn blockers/would have alarms on my phone/would lie to partners and family/would even set stuff up to make sure I wouldn’t even have the chance to masturbate or watch porn……..somehow I always found a way! I have dealt with PIED and that I believe was the pure gasoline to my Porn Addiction. It spiraled me and created a part of me that just felt so down and so unmanly and that to me, that was the worst feeling I’ve ever had. There was so many times I would question myself “am I ever going to be able to stop?” “Am I going to be married and be still addicted to porn” and to me that felt so defeating. From having PIED with many partners that led to me feeling a certain way about myself and having to never be present and never going after what I really wanted to do and the feeling of the grip of porn addiction had on me for PAINFUL YEARS…. I’m here to tell you I have found myself that put me in complete freedom and complete control. It’s been about a whole year without watching Porn or Even masturbating. Before that, my best NOFAP streak was 27 days I have gotten my confidence back, I’m in an amazing relationship, I feel connected, I’m present, I’m Calm, I can’t even believe to say that I have no urges at all to even want to watch porn and masturbate which to me is wild because there were times where I didn’t want to at all and would tell myself “don’t do it! and I would almost wake up form a daze knowing I just did it and would get so down on myself. There were times I would be doing and it and during I would tell myself I can stop right now but the voice in my head would say “it’s fine, just do it today and then you’ll start tomorrow”…….the scary part of it was I did the same thing yesterday! I’m completely free from Porn and Masturbation and it seriously feel like you have your life back. I want to help as many people as possible so I’m Looking to start some media where people can find motivation in it that really helped me understand everything. I know how much some videos helped me by someone talking about there situation so I actually feel compelled to want to do this for the people I truly want to help that are struggling. You can do it, I will be updating a lot on this website and for anyone that wants more info on where I’ll be posting some motivation nofap content just message me and I’d love to be someone who has helped someone. Thank you again NOFAP and thank you to everyone who read this I appreciate every single one of you! Be strong, know your possibilities, and be FREE!!

“If I want to be free, I gotta be me” -bob proctor

It's definitely a long addiction from a young age.. Can you write a little about your reboot? First of all - how long did it take you to be completely healthy again? What are the things that bothered you? what did you feel Have the symptoms made your daily life difficult? What helped you during rehab? On which day did you feel a significant change?

 

[ClarityofClearWater]

I want to start off by saying hello to everyone in here and to just say THANK YOU to NoFap for this powerful platform to really help people. I know people are struggling and it legit hurts me because I’ve been through it all with my addiction and really know all the drowning emotions that comes with it. With that said I’m here to tell anyone reading this that feels suffering/pain/guilt/disgust/loss/weakness/problems to absolutely know there is another side of you, that you WILL reach when you are no longer OUT OF CONTROL………YOU’LL FEEL AT PEACE AND IN CONTROL. Okay here’s my story…..

I started watching porn/masturbate when I was around 12 but I didn’t know I was addicted for years until there was a list of things that I ended up taking notice of. One of my earliest memories of noticing the problem was the random urges to want to watch porn and masturbate because I wanted to “feel” normal because I was stressed out. From there I had the ignorance of thinking it was totally normal (especially how society/media makes porn seem good for the body)……..let me tell you right now, i was on a damn hamster wheel. I would feel stressed and wanted to feel “normal” and “relaxed” but funny thing is, I’d watch the porn and masturbate to then feel absolutely terrible and the cycle would just be reoccurring. It had full control of me. The wild thing was I knew that it would make me feel horrible so I would try NOFAP to feel better……..wasn’t able to go even 1 day! When I tell you I think I tried NOFAP around 1000 times I’m not even joking you. It got to a point where I did the porn blockers/would have alarms on my phone/would lie to partners and family/would even set stuff up to make sure I wouldn’t even have the chance to masturbate or watch porn……..somehow I always found a way! I have dealt with PIED and that I believe was the pure gasoline to my Porn Addiction. It spiraled me and created a part of me that just felt so down and so unmanly and that to me, that was the worst feeling I’ve ever had. There was so many times I would question myself “am I ever going to be able to stop?” “Am I going to be married and be still addicted to porn” and to me that felt so defeating. From having PIED with many partners that led to me feeling a certain way about myself and having to never be present and never going after what I really wanted to do and the feeling of the grip of porn addiction had on me for PAINFUL YEARS…. I’m here to tell you I have found myself that put me in complete freedom and complete control. It’s been about a whole year without watching Porn or Even masturbating. Before that, my best NOFAP streak was 27 days I have gotten my confidence back, I’m in an amazing relationship, I feel connected, I’m present, I’m Calm, I can’t even believe to say that I have no urges at all to even want to watch porn and masturbate which to me is wild because there were times where I didn’t want to at all and would tell myself “don’t do it! and I would almost wake up form a daze knowing I just did it and would get so down on myself. There were times I would be doing and it and during I would tell myself I can stop right now but the voice in my head would say “it’s fine, just do it today and then you’ll start tomorrow”…….the scary part of it was I did the same thing yesterday! I’m completely free from Porn and Masturbation and it seriously feel like you have your life back. I want to help as many people as possible so I’m Looking to start some media where people can find motivation in it that really helped me understand everything. I know how much some videos helped me by someone talking about there situation so I actually feel compelled to want to do this for the people I truly want to help that are struggling. You can do it, I will be updating a lot on this website and for anyone that wants more info on where I’ll be posting some motivation nofap content just message me and I’d love to be someone who has helped someone. Thank you again NOFAP and thank you to everyone who read this I appreciate every single one of you! Be strong, know your possibilities, and be FREE!!

“If I want to be free, I gotta be me” -bob proctor

Inspirational! Interesting to hear that you don't get urges to watch porn after 1 year of rebooting. I went on semen retention for 1 year but eventually relapsed because I was watching porn and fantasising/edging a lot. now struggling to get to the 1-week mark again. But your posy gives me hope. I long for the day I don't get strong urges to watch porn.

 

[GuardianDelPack]

Hola guerrero, buenas noches, quisiera saber que es PIED, no lo he encontrado en google; aparte, también te quería felicitar y decirte que gracias a que compartiste tu experiencia de vida con nosotros, me alegra y me da muchas esperanzas para seguir adelante, sigue así campeón.

 

[Imperfect]

Congratulations! Your story is very relatable.
Yes, please share something about your final attempt. Did you use some specific strategies?

 

[Imperfect]

Hola guerrero, buenas noches, quisiera saber que es PIED, no lo he encontrado en google; aparte, también te quería felicitar y decirte que gracias a que compartiste tu experiencia de vida con nosotros, me alegra y me da muchas esperanzas para seguir adelante, sigue así campeón.

Es si tu amigo de abajo no quiere despertarse, cuando intentas de tener sexo.

 

[Samvise95]

Congrats.
Tanks you for your story.

 

[muhammmadalli]

Congo dear congo

 

[Man786]

I got this from a book I read:

Final Instructions If you follow these instructions, you cannot fail:

Make a solemn vow that you’ll never, ever, go online to visit pornographic content again and stick to it. Remind yourself: There’s absolutely nothing to give up. You will be better off away from porn. There is no rational reason to even watch porn. And there’s no genuine pleasure or crutch in porn either. It’s just an illusion, a false belief. A lot like banging your head against a wall in order to feel the relief when you stop. Porn creates the void. There is nothing special about you. Like countless others, you too can quit. There is nothing so tragic in your life that you cannot quit this.

Don’t try not to think about porn, or worry when you’re thinking about it constantly. Whenever you do think about it, just tell yourself “wow! I’m so glad that is behind me! I’m happy and free from that poison!” You don’t need to block these. That’s using the willpower method. Instead, affirm the true belief in face of these images. Practice meditation to realize these images have no power to control you.

Do not use any form of distractions (cold showers, exercise, etc) or substitutes (softcore images, provocative social media images, TV shows, etc). Be mindful of the power of media and social situations at first. Do not give yourself a reward for quitting. Within a few days or weeks, you might (or might not) have a ‘moment of insight’. Don’t be hung up waiting for ‘moment of insight’ to come. Just get on with your life, enjoying the highs and coping with the lows. You’ll find in no time at all the moment will arrive. For some it is a big moment, for some it is barely noticeable. In either case, the moment of insight tells them that “Yes, it really all was just a lie. I did not need porn after all.”

Go to quitporneasily.com to download the 1 page cheat sheet as a reminder of these lessons. You will also get a 5 day email course that will serve as reinforcement about these ideas. More false beliefs will be uncovered.

You will find subtle things keeping you trapped. Be honest and look at them and deal with them. Journal about them, talk to a friend about them, or reach out to me so I can coach you through it. Don’t wait until you’ve uncovered all of them. Quit now.

Continuously remind yourself to counter the lifetime of false beliefs that: ◦ Porn doesn’t fill the void in my life, it creates it. ◦ I am free! Free! Free! ◦ It feels so good to let the poison out of my system! Without contemplation of these ideas, this will not work. A lifetime of false programming requires some thinking on your part so that it can be reversed!

 

[Robbiebob]

I like the word poison for porn & indeed it is....
This is a curse on our modern society.
I'm right with you my friend, this is a curse that must be broken and live healthy sexual lives.

 

[iceb4]

I want to start off by saying hello to everyone in here and to just say THANK YOU to NoFap for this powerful platform to really help people. I know people are struggling and it legit hurts me because I’ve been through it all with my addiction and really know all the drowning emotions that comes with it. With that said I’m here to tell anyone reading this that feels suffering/pain/guilt/disgust/loss/weakness/problems to absolutely know there is another side of you, that you WILL reach when you are no longer OUT OF CONTROL………YOU’LL FEEL AT PEACE AND IN CONTROL. Okay here’s my story…..

I started watching porn/masturbate when I was around 12 but I didn’t know I was addicted for years until there was a list of things that I ended up taking notice of. One of my earliest memories of noticing the problem was the random urges to want to watch porn and masturbate because I wanted to “feel” normal because I was stressed out. From there I had the ignorance of thinking it was totally normal (especially how society/media makes porn seem good for the body)……..let me tell you right now, i was on a damn hamster wheel. I would feel stressed and wanted to feel “normal” and “relaxed” but funny thing is, I’d watch the porn and masturbate to then feel absolutely terrible and the cycle would just be reoccurring. It had full control of me. The wild thing was I knew that it would make me feel horrible so I would try NOFAP to feel better……..wasn’t able to go even 1 day! When I tell you I think I tried NOFAP around 1000 times I’m not even joking you. It got to a point where I did the porn blockers/would have alarms on my phone/would lie to partners and family/would even set stuff up to make sure I wouldn’t even have the chance to masturbate or watch porn……..somehow I always found a way! I have dealt with PIED and that I believe was the pure gasoline to my Porn Addiction. It spiraled me and created a part of me that just felt so down and so unmanly and that to me, that was the worst feeling I’ve ever had. There was so many times I would question myself “am I ever going to be able to stop?” “Am I going to be married and be still addicted to porn” and to me that felt so defeating. From having PIED with many partners that led to me feeling a certain way about myself and having to never be present and never going after what I really wanted to do and the feeling of the grip of porn addiction had on me for PAINFUL YEARS…. I’m here to tell you I have found myself that put me in complete freedom and complete control. It’s been about a whole year without watching Porn or Even masturbating. Before that, my best NOFAP streak was 27 days I have gotten my confidence back, I’m in an amazing relationship, I feel connected, I’m present, I’m Calm, I can’t even believe to say that I have no urges at all to even want to watch porn and masturbate which to me is wild because there were times where I didn’t want to at all and would tell myself “don’t do it! and I would almost wake up form a daze knowing I just did it and would get so down on myself. There were times I would be doing and it and during I would tell myself I can stop right now but the voice in my head would say “it’s fine, just do it today and then you’ll start tomorrow”…….the scary part of it was I did the same thing yesterday! I’m completely free from Porn and Masturbation and it seriously feel like you have your life back. I want to help as many people as possible so I’m Looking to start some media where people can find motivation in it that really helped me understand everything. I know how much some videos helped me by someone talking about there situation so I actually feel compelled to want to do this for the people I truly want to help that are struggling. You can do it, I will be updating a lot on this website and for anyone that wants more info on where I’ll be posting some motivation nofap content just message me and I’d love to be someone who has helped someone. Thank you again NOFAP and thank you to everyone who read this I appreciate every single one of you! Be strong, know your possibilities, and be FREE!!

“If I want to be free, I gotta be me” -bob proctor

Congratulations man ... I did not tap three times this time is 4 ... the last one I reached 29 days .. but I relapsed .. the main lesson is not to give up . Keep trying...
Thanks man

 

[durotan30]

I want to start off by saying hello to everyone in here and to just say THANK YOU to NoFap for this powerful platform to really help people. I know people are struggling and it legit hurts me because I’ve been through it all with my addiction and really know all the drowning emotions that comes with it. With that said I’m here to tell anyone reading this that feels suffering/pain/guilt/disgust/loss/weakness/problems to absolutely know there is another side of you, that you WILL reach when you are no longer OUT OF CONTROL………YOU’LL FEEL AT PEACE AND IN CONTROL. Okay here’s my story…..

Empecé a ver porno/masturbarme cuando tenía alrededor de 12 años, pero no supe que era adicto durante años hasta que hubo una lista de cosas de las que terminé prestando atención. Uno de mis primeros recuerdos de notar el problema fue el impulso aleatorio de querer ver pornografía y masturbarme porque quería "sentirme" normal porque estaba estresado. A partir de ahí tuve la ignorancia de pensar que era totalmente normal (especialmente cómo la sociedad/los medios hacen que la pornografía parezca buena para el cuerpo)… déjame decirte ahora mismo, estaba en una maldita rueda de hámster. Me sentía estresado y quería sentirme "normal" y "relajado", pero lo divertido es que miraba porno y me masturbaba para luego sentirme absolutamente terrible y el ciclo simplemente se repetía. Tenía el control total de mí. Lo salvaje fue que sabía que me haría sentir horrible, así que probaría NOFAP para sentirme mejor... ¡No pude ir ni siquiera 1 día! Cuando te digo que creo que probé NOFAP alrededor de 1000 veces, ni siquiera estoy bromeando. Llegué a un punto en el que hacía bloqueadores de pornografía/tenía alarmas en mi teléfono/mentía a mis parejas y familiares/incluso organizaba cosas para asegurarme de que ni siquiera tendría la oportunidad de masturbarme o ver pornografía…. .de alguna manera siempre encontré una manera! He tratado con PIED y creo que fue la gasolina pura de mi adicción a la pornografía. Me hizo girar en espiral y creó una parte de mí que se sentía tan deprimida y tan poco masculina y que para mí, ese fue el peor sentimiento que he tenido. Hubo tantas veces que me preguntaba "¿alguna vez podré parar?" "¿Voy a casarme y seguir siendo adicto a la pornografía?" y para mí eso se sintió tan derrotado. De tener PIED con muchas parejas que me llevaron a sentirme de cierta manera sobre mí mismo y tener que nunca estar presente y nunca perseguir lo que realmente quería hacer y la sensación de que la adicción a la pornografía me atrapó durante AÑOS DOLOROSOS... Estoy aquí para decirles que me encontré a mí mismo que me puso en total libertad y control total. Ha pasado un año entero sin ver porno ni masturbarme. Antes de eso, mi mejor racha de NOFAP fue de 27 días. Recuperé mi confianza, estoy en una relación increíble, me siento conectado, estoy presente, estoy tranquilo, ni siquiera puedo creer que tengo No tengo ganas de querer ver porno y masturbarme, lo que para mí es una locura porque hubo momentos en los que no quería en absoluto y me decía a mí mismo: "¡No lo hagas! y casi me despertaría de un aturdimiento sabiendo que lo hice y que me deprimiría tanto. Hubo momentos en los que lo estaba haciendo y durante me decía a mí mismo que podía parar ahora mismo, pero la voz en mi cabeza decía "está bien, solo hazlo hoy y luego comenzarás mañana"... la parte aterradora de eso fue que hice lo mismo ayer! Estoy completamente libre de pornografía y masturbación y realmente siento que has recuperado tu vida. Quiero ayudar a tantas personas como sea posible, así que estoy buscando iniciar algunos medios donde las personas puedan encontrar motivación en ellos que realmente me ayudaron a entender todo. Sé cuánto me ayudaron algunos videos de alguien que hablaba sobre la situación, así que realmente me siento obligado a querer hacer esto por las personas a las que realmente quiero ayudar y que están luchando. Puedes hacerlo, Actualizaré mucho en este sitio web y para cualquier persona que quiera más información sobre dónde publicaré algún contenido de motivación nofap, solo envíeme un mensaje y me encantaría ser alguien que haya ayudado a alguien. Gracias nuevamente NOFAP y gracias a todos los que leyeron esto. ¡Aprecio a cada uno de ustedes! ¡¡Sé fuerte, conoce tus posibilidades y sé LIBRE!!

“Si quiero ser libre, tengo que ser yo” -bob proctor

Buena historia de superación me inspiró mucho. Aunque algo me llama mucho la atención, que significa PIED?