Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Deleted Account, Nov 16, 2019.

  1. Hello Fapstronauts,
    my name is Richard (male) and here are some information about me and my situation.

    I started using porn at the age of 16. Back then it wasn't a big deal. I lived in america and we didn't have a lot of internet (internet was like storage e.g. 50 GB for a month for the whole family) so I didn't use it a lot. When I got back to germany this pretty much changed by a milestone. I was able to consume more with better quality. It got really bad during college. I lived alone and had high speed internet that enabled the use. To put it in a nutshell, I watched porn a lot sometimes even 2-3 times per day.

    Fast forward to today. I'm almost 22 years old, never had a girlfriend, never actually had sex and I feel lonely. Don't get me wrong. I have friends that I enjoy being with but even with them it feels like something is missing. A few weeks ago I got out of a major depressive episode that almost destroyed my life: my grades got really bad, I didn't go outside and I gained almost 15kg, also I masturbated too much.

    So what do I want to achieve here. To be honest I'm not really sure. I've read a lot about nofap and it's benefits. Getting more willpower, better skin, better sleep, overall more enjoyment of life. They all sound pretty good but my main goal is to see a beautiful girl somewhere and not only think of her as beautiful but to have a drive to talk to her with the goal of intimacy.

    Let's see how this goes.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2019
  2. helpinghand4all

    helpinghand4all Fapstronaut

    Same story different scenario, 20 and fucked up, Here are a few things I promise you wouldn't get from following nofap :
    1) Good Sleep: I've Developed Insomnia on Nofap and it's pretty bad I have to drain myself of energy to get a good sleep.
    2) Willpower: Willpower develops separate from nofap from what I know.

    You'll surely get a good looking girl just don't give up, you'll have lots of energy and stability.
    Girls would be more interested in you, all of them. Just don't forget to exercise when you cross the 30 day mark. If you're good at social skills it won't take you long else you'll have to develop social skills.

    My case is that I'm afraid that even if I put in so much effort, the person I'll be with will leave me and that'll hurt, so I would never mind trying.

    The best thing about nofap is that you get that inner satisfaction and realize that your life is so beautiful. Girls would want to talk to you, every girl you meet everywhere will want to talk to you it depends upon you where you take everything from there. Some will keep on staring you, act clumsy in front of you while staring at you constantly that is the point you should realize that now you can proceed with trying to get things to work. Even the prettiest girls behave similarly. All the best don't forget to keep your confidence up even when sometimes the lows of life hit you.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Hey helpinghand4all,
    thanks for your kind words. I now have the feeling that maybe my story was a bit exaggerated. To be clear: I feel lonely but not miserable. I've gained 15kg but still look slim and I'm a virgin but I'm not ashamed of it. It's more the fact that I often had the chance to be with a girl but I had too high expactations (maybe because of porn) so I didn't mind to do something with her.

    About the Insomnia: Did your sleep ever get better or did it stay bad?

    Best, Richard
  4. helpinghand4all

    helpinghand4all Fapstronaut

    I'm kind of ashamed of being a virgin, it's just how the society pushes it, I've only had crushes over time and Everytime I was too needy for the other person to be interested. Same here not too high but high expectations. It's just that for relationships to work out the girl has to be constantly interested. I feel miserable. No girl has ever said the three magic words to me, but I'll just let that happen since now I know how that happens, till that point I'm not going to put any effort.

    You'll feel more fresh with less sleep but I have trouble sleeping at the right time, sometimes it gets past 2 or 3, while I get in bed at 8 or 9.

    About the Insomnia, it's just that there's too much energy on nofap if you don't use it you'll start ruminating and racing thoughts along with the energy won't let you sleep so fix time for exercise. There's too much energy so spend it best on socializing, if you socialize along with nofap you'll grow tremendously, there would be no difference between you and the most popular guy you know. Faith is extremely important, hope you keep on with the streak!
  5. I think it's sad that being a virgin is criticized or shameful in todays soceity. Not everyone is lucky enough or has enough self confidence to talk to a girl in his early or even "later" years. Many of my friends told me that they got in a relationship when they didn't try to be in one. I think you shouldn't try too hard to get a girlfriend and just try too sozialize. As you said, don't put any effort in it unless you have the feeling it could work out. In that case you shouldn't wait and just try it. Maybe it works or maybe it doesn't. The less expectations you have the less it will hurt if it doesn't work out.

    Just a side question. NoFap recommends to get a Accountability partner. Do you have one already?
  6. helpinghand4all

    helpinghand4all Fapstronaut

    Getting an AP kick-starts the nofap routine, I got people from forum who were just like me so it helped a lot, for you someone you might already know could be beneficial, we don't talk since few months now there is no need for an AP, getting an AP who's just like you helps a lot.
  7. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!

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