Straight guy / gay porn

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by jetskisetter, Jan 22, 2019.

  1. jetskisetter

    jetskisetter Fapstronaut

    76
    107
    33
    Any other straight guys get aroused by gay porn? I consider myself straight, as I have no actual interest in doing anything with another guy, but the porn I’ve watched has always been gay porn.. whenever I imagine myself with an actual partner (not just sexual fantasy), I see mysef with a woman, not a guy, though admittedly my attraction to women has always been more emotional than physical. I think it might be because several of my first sexual experiences were with other guys (just kissing and jokingly touching over clothes). Anyone else experience anything similar? I’ve never really talked about this with anyone before, so it’s not easy, and i’m not looking for people to say “just accept that you’re gay” or anything like that—only looking for people who can relate.
     
    billiammn, Spot618, EL88 and 3 others like this.
  2. I can relate.
    I didnt have those first encounters as a joke tho. I was abused when kid. After that I started to feel aroused by men. I love women, but some guys can sparkle something down there.
    I’ve had chances to do stuff with guys who out of nowhere have offered everything. But in that moment is like… no thanks.
    Still, I was addicted to gay porn. But never saw straight porn since I felt so bad about how women got treated. On the other hand I felt so aroused by dominant men in sexual encounters on gayP.
    It does not mean you are gay. But you have definitely damaged (not permanently but severely) the way you see men, and yourself.
    Do you have problems with self esteem, your looks, sexual performance or something of any sort?
     
    Praksh, Yippy and jetskisetter like this.
  3. Porn No More

    Porn No More Fapstronaut

    137
    148
    43
    My first experience was with a friend at a young age. We started watching p together and led to other things. We both liked girls but enjoyed the thrill of doing things together. I was always in to straight porn but then as escalation occurred it wasn’t enough. I went to gay porn, trans, jo with other men bringing back my young experiences but I have no desire to be in a relationship with a man. Hope this puts things into perspective
     
  4. jetskisetter

    jetskisetter Fapstronaut

    76
    107
    33
    Yes, this pretty much sums up my take on this! I have struggled with low self esteem, and it has only been in the past year or two as I've more seriously tried to kick my porn habit that I have begun to think more positively about myself. Even when I was in really deep with gay porn and even though it aroused intense sexual feelings, I have always felt that the draw for me was more an extension of a desire to be viewed as more masculine, or a desire for better friendships with other guys (friendship with girls just always came easier to me).
     
  5. jetskisetter

    jetskisetter Fapstronaut

    76
    107
    33
    It does help, thank you! It's almost like a muscle that's been consistently exercised for years, so obviously it's going to be pretty strong
     
  6. Dude! It’s exactly that! That’s just how I feel too. I think watching gayP it’s some sort of “worship” to the ideal male body, and somehow that turns us on. I’ve always been super insecure about my body, specially cause I was bullied about it and worst… complimented about it, but by women, saying stuff like “I wish I had a waist like yours”; so I develope serious doubts about my body.
    And of course, the endless (and out of logic) feeling that my genitals are not big enough.

    I also can relate so much with being able to make female friends so easily, but constantly struggling with making guy friends.

    Dude! I’ve never read someone explain this so accurately close to what I expereince!
     
  7. Committed to One

    Committed to One Fapstronaut

    148
    409
    63
    Very similar experiences. Introduced to sex at age nine by an older teen girl, then hyper sexual from then on with guy friends and any girl I could score with.
    After I got married I didn't want anything to do with it, though still really enjoy the A stimulation and still totally addicted to M. As my addiction escalated and then internet porn became a thing, I found gay/twink porn very arousing. That led to looking at Craigslist, gay chat and apps and then looking to hook up. Never followed through with it physically but certainly acted out online. I'm not gay and don't have any emotional attraction to guys, it just was the unchecked escalation of my addiction. I even rationalized that since it wasn't with another women it wasn't really cheating on my marriage.
    Total denial, total brain fog, total addiction thought process. Having all that secret behavior really messed with everything and every relationship in my life but I refused to see it.
    After a discovery of emails and accounts and apps profiles, all that came to light.
    Denial was no longer an option.
    Really, really painful stuff to work through. Fortunately we are working through it and our relationship is healing. And I am no longer searching for a constant state of arousal. 60 days of hard mode brought a lot of clarity.

    Bottom line, as guys we can get aroused by just about anything if we let ourselves go there. And if we do, it WILL escalate.
    Take a hard break from all of it and you'll find over time you will normalize. Posting here can help, getting real and honest with a recovery group has been most helpful for me. You're not alone and a lot of guys are struggling (or just completely giving in) with the same stuff.
     
  8. Darwin Kemper

    Darwin Kemper Fapstronaut

    Hi Jetskisetter,
    I have been going through a week long relapse/binge and a bunch of it revolves around gay porn. I was talking about this with someone else recently:
    I am straight, but enjoy watching gay porn and love self sucking, shaving and anal play - masturbate constantly and fascinated by the sight of cum.

    Sadly this led to the practice of edging, I always wanted to have an impressive visual (I used to post videos of daily wank sessions for a period of time).

    Never been attracted to males in real life but damn they make some good porn.

    I always considered myself lucky to be turned on by both gay and straight porn. My most recent habit is watching softcore porn in my browser (20 year old girl next door striptease) and having the audio from some guy inserting a lotion bottle on in the background. The juxtaposition of the two is intoxicating.
    There is a group here that might be good fit
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?groups/confused-sexualities.26/
    They are a closed group so I don't know what they discuss but the description says For those who attracted to porn genres that do not coincide with their sexual orientation

    Feel free to start a conversation with me, if it isn't a good fit.

    DK
     
    Gmork and jetskisetter like this.
  9. CMAN246

    CMAN246 New Fapstronaut

    4
    5
    3
    I too can definetly relate to this post.

    When I was 10 I was exposed to gay images on the internet... I think it was me trying to find out if I was normal and wanted to compare myself to other guys. I think this exposure skewed my view of what I find attractive, much like how sexual encounters at such a young age would change your sexuality. Much like you I am addicted to gay porn, and yet am emotionally attracted to women. Once a gay guy was hitting on me and wanted to have sex (even though I was 16...) and the whole time I just wanted him to go away...

    My point is that a sexual encounter as a kid or teen would change your sexual feelings. If you have no romantic interest in guys then you are not gay. Period. My question to you is have you done a 90 day reset or anything like that? I feel as though once you reset that you will not have these feelings or that they will not be as strong.
     
  10. jetscooled

    jetscooled Fapstronaut

    33
    80
    18
    Hi,
    this is a case of desensitization. The normal case most men have is they fantasize about being the guy that is with all the girls in the porn they are watching or they usually find a dominant man in the gay porn world to admire. I think you are mistaking your lust for these men as a desire to be them or see yourself in the same light as you do these men. With sex addictions we tend to lose ourselves and our identities and we lose them to either porn images or images weve created in our imagination. Just look at this as another hoop you have to jump through in order to overcome your addiction. Your brain is overstimulated and thus playing mind tricks on you to keep your addiction alive and active. Over time, when you HONESTLY refrain and participate in nofap, you will see this slowly, and i mean slowly, subside. Most people think they are going to be superman in 90 days and im here to tell you, as someone who is on day 129, that is not the case. your body is going to need lots and lots (im talking several months, maybe a year or two even in more extreme cases) to fully recover. once your brain recovers and you are back to normal, youll be shocked you were even in the place you are now.
     
    jetskisetter and Deleted Account like this.
  11. @jetscooled You mentioned something that is super important to keep in mind. We can’t expect to heal in 90 days a brain that we’ve hurt, conditioned and (miss)educated for YEARS.
    We need to understand it requires equivalent ammounts of time and effort. Going down the hill is way easier than climbing it.
    That’s why this whole process is for men and not kids.
     
    jetskisetter likes this.
  12. Maximus19

    Maximus19 Fapstronaut

    12
    7
    3
    Hey dude.

    I’m currently going through a tough time myself with something similar, but the difference is I don’t really get aroused by gay porn, but more a specific fantasy to do with having sex with much older chubby masculine men. There is obviously some daddy issues here, however having done some research, I also strongly believe it has to do with my severe porn addiction, which has completely desensitised me to regular sex with girls, and has made me desire more taboo and kinkier sexual pleasures.

    So if you watch gay porn and enjoy it, it could be due to having watched a LOT of straight porn in the past which has made you bored (and thus you are seeing something more kinky and taboo in your mind), or you could simply be bisexual :).

    Best thing for you is to know that there are so many guys out there experiencing similar things, and that not watching porn and masterbating for a long time (as hard as it is) will really give you a lot more clarity in my oponion.

    Don’t worry brother, we all support you here
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. jetskisetter

    jetskisetter Fapstronaut

    76
    107
    33
    !!!
     
  14. jetskisetter

    jetskisetter Fapstronaut

    76
    107
    33
    Yo thanks for sharing this! Right before I decided to do nofap, I had started looking into gay meetup stuff--it felt exciting at first, but whenever there was opportunity to actually do something with someone, I thought "what am I even doing here? this isn't what I'm looking for!" I think that was what really shook me into accepting that these sex addictions just escalate and escalate. I could see where mine was going, and I wanted to get in control of it before it completely took over my life. Appreciate the support !
     
    Andyuk7 and Committed to One like this.
  15. jetskisetter

    jetskisetter Fapstronaut

    76
    107
    33
    I want to check out that group, but honestly worried I might find it triggering! Maybe further down the road
     
  16. jetskisetter

    jetskisetter Fapstronaut

    76
    107
    33
    This feels accurate for me too! I'm in the process of resetting right now, so eager to see how things start changing. Definitely in it for the long haul!
     
    CMAN246 likes this.
  17. jetskisetter

    jetskisetter Fapstronaut

    76
    107
    33
    I definitely think that's the appeal of gay porn for me--it's like I don't feel masculine enough or attractive enough, so I project those feelings onto the guys in porn. The real desire isn't to be with another guy; the real desire is for other people to view me how I view those guys--as masculine and attractive.

    And totally agree with what you said about it taking longer than 90 days. I get having that as a goal, and I'm sure it works for some people depending on what they're hoping to accomplish, but I have a lot of deep-seated stuff I'm trying to reset. It didn't take 90 days for me to get here; it probably won't take 90 days to get out.
     
    Spot618, Deleted Account and CMAN246 like this.
  18. jetskisetter

    jetskisetter Fapstronaut

    76
    107
    33
    Thanks for the support, dude!! It's so true--when we take our sexuality into our own hands and retreat into fantasy, it really just fucks with our heads.
     
  19. PathOfReform

    PathOfReform Fapstronaut

    150
    120
    43
    Hopefully you don't view me as an asshole, but the part about your first sexual experiences kind of reminded me of this post:
    [​IMG]

    I'm not implying you're gay at all. Put it here in hopes to share a laugh(laughing at these dark times helps). You're not gay, otherwise you wouldn't have any attraction to women.

    If you were into gay porn since day 1 and it was almost exclusively gay porn, and only really had sexual experiences with men, you might be somewhat bisexual. I'm not going to rush to assumptions since I don't know your full background and key details might be missing. To me it honestly sounds like you do have some interest in, albeit solely physical and even then to a certain extent, in men.
    The human brain is fucking weird, dude. Laying off of porn could give you an answer or at least clear up things for you a little bit more regarding your sexuality, since it definitely fucks with your sexuality not only via desensitization to what is considered the "default genre"(straight porn)for most users here, but it also limits your point of view and keeps your brain from acting normally due to the constant urges your addiction practically injects in your mind. It keeps you from thinking about anything else. It plain and simple hijacks your brain once you get addicted. Perhaps you'll find gay porn competely weird or repulsive once you lay off of it, and whatever you experienced it the past may just end up being nothing more than some irrelevant experiences that you were excited about because you weren't completely sure about your sexuality and were eager to see what it might feel like.
    When you're a kid and you watch too much porn, you might end up doing things with another available, very young friend not realizing what you're doing and with only one objective in mind - making yourselves feel good like they do in porn.
    Fortunately for me, me and most of my friends were clueless and played video games and football all day long and only discovered this shit later when we knew what sex and sexuality are.

    And may I ask how old are you?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 30, 2019
    kruznick and Andyuk7 like this.
  20. Marcelo48

    Marcelo48 Fapstronaut

    88
    122
    33
    Damn, are you me? I can relate with everything you said. I also would love to have someone to talk about this since it's impossible in real life to find someone.
    I remember when I was young I only watched straight porn, and looked with disgust at anything considered "gay". Of course that over time my brain started to starve for more and more novelty and that as everyone knows ended up with trans and later gay porn. As it was not enough it was followed by anonymous sex with men along with other things.
    Long streaks of NoFap help me to clear my thoughts of this kind of stuff but I've been struggling lately.. There is this Confused Sexualities group but it is closed. How do I join? (edit: Found the button :p)

    Shit, right on the feels.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2019
    Andyuk7 and jetskisetter like this.

Share This Page