Straight teen suffering sissy hypno porn and transsexual fantasies: Part -2

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by samir pasa, Jul 6, 2017.

  1. samir pasa

    samir pasa Fapstronaut

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    Greetings everyone. I'm a 19 year old straight male, previously came to this forum seeking help, now I'm more worried and mentally lost. I need support badly.

    I'm a straight male. I like girls. I'm not attracted to men, never was before. I don't want any romantic relationship or any relationship with a men. Overall, I'm a guy who likes girls, finds girls attractive and wants to marry a girl and have a nice family.

    But recently I've accidentally started watching sissy hypno porn and various transsexual fantasies came into my mind. Before these porn fetishes or genres, I wasn't attracted to dicks, neither now. But after watching sissy hypno porn where you fantasise being an women and getting ficket by men, I'm starting to get worried about my own sexuality.

    I never wanted this. I don't like the fantasy of being a women and getting fucked by some men. I never wanted this, or wished this would come. Before I watched these sissy staff, my porn fantasies were normal, I would easily get aroused my women's boobs or vagina, but now those things barely arouse me.

    I know what a transsexual person is, a person who thinks he belongs to the opposite sex. I've read it many places.

    The thing is, I don't want to become a women or I'm not happy fantasised as a women. But the thoughts keeps turning me on and I'm relapsing badly.

    I started nofap on this year January/February and keep relapsing again and again but never gave up. Because I hate porn and masturbation and what it did to me.


    Sometimes I ask myself as I relapse after watching these sissy hypno porn where you fantasies being the women in the porn you're watching and then I ask myself if I'm happy with this or not? The truth is I'm not happy with this kind of porn and I'm not happy with this all.

    I like women, I want to get a girlfriend and kiss and love her. I'm happy being a man, my real self. Before these kind of porn I never got aroused by these kinds of transsexual thoughts. And I don't want to become a women or a faggot.

    But these porn thoughts keeps turing me on, but I don't like it. I want to get out of this badly and these porn are affecting NY brain. They are creating confusion about my sexuality, creating identity crisis. But I don't like it .

    I am a man, and I always want to stay a man, I'm happy being a man. But these sissy hypno porn videos created confusion that I think many transsexual thoughts. I know I don't like this. But my brain keeps greeting turned on by these fantasises/thoughts where you think that you're the woman in the porn.

    What do you guys think? Do you think I'm homosexual/bisexual/transsexual or I'm straight?

    I need help from you guys badly since where I live it's impossible for me to see a therapist and talk with someone directly.

    Please help me. I came to this forum before and got great help from all of you guys. But my own thoughts are attacking me, creating confusion about my sexuality and keeps breaking me. I'm lost. I can't even think properly.

    Before watching sissy hypno porn I didn't had any fantasies of being a women, but now I constantly get hit by the thoughts of being an woman and how sex would be like from that position. But I just don't like it. My brain keeps carving this thoughts, like sucking cocks or getting fucked by a black man. But I don't enjoy this and I'm not happy with this. I wish I could get rid of these fantasies. I'm losing my original self and constantly getting destroyed by these things.

    Before these sexual fantasises or whatsoever, I could get easily turned on by normal vanilla stiff. I could get easily turned of by images of girl's boobs or cleavages. But now I don't get turned on by those anymore.

    What is happening to me? I don't know. I need help.

    Am I attracted to men? Do I like men? No. I never was attracted to men. Not now. And I don't think I'll ever be. But after watching those kinds of porn I'm attracted to dicks.
    Still I don't find men attractive.

    Same with sissy porn stuff. I didn't even knew back then that these stuff exist. Curiously after finding out I watched some sissy stuff on 4chan and after that I kept getting turned on as those were my new fantasises. Before these sissy stuff I never imagined myself being the women in the porn, or being an women. Now I get turned on imagining myself as a sexy white girl, even though I don't like it. I don't like it at all, and I'm not happy with this. Maybe my brain likes this, but I know I don't like this.

    In a word, I don't like these sissy hypno stuff that I've got myself into, I don't enjoy these. I want to get back into my normal self. I'm happy being a man, I like women, and I want a sexy beautiful women. I still meet many girls on my way to work or in my everyday life and some of them I like or find beautiful.

    I never thought porn could lead me into so much trouble. I feel more feminine and less masculine than before. But I don't want to. I know this isn't my original self and I don't enjoy this, but I developed this sexual desires from nowhere and now I'm stuck.

    Can you guys give me any solution to this problem? I know this entire thing is long but I wrote all of these from my heart, since I know I needed to talk to someone about these problems and it's you.

    So can I be recovered from this sissy porn fantasises? I don't want to be gay. I don't want to be bisexual. I don't want to be transsexual. But I fear that these porn will turn me into someday or slowly turning me into.
    My mind is constantly getting attacked by fantasies of imagining myself of being a women, and how hot it would be. But I know I don't like it. But somewhere in my mind it keeps me turning into and I don't know the problem. I need help to fix myself.

    I was never into sissy hypno or these kinds of porn where you imagine yourself as a girl. But now I keep getting turned on by this. Before that these weren't my desires. But now somehow it turns me on.

    I'm losing my mind. My family depends on me. But I'm suffering from problems like depression and struggling.

    It's strange cause I hate it and enjoy it at the same time. I don't want to become a women or transgender in the future and I don't like imagining myself as a women. But at the same time I get turned on by these thoughts and urges ad end up masturbating multiple times by watching these kinds of porn on 4chan. I hate 4chan and all the porn there and everywhere else. Every single time I get irned on and get an urge I end up visiting 4chan and other porn sites and end up watching porn and relapsing.

    Currently I'm trying to achieve a 90 day reboot but keep failing badly.

    Please tell me what to do. Do you think I'm homosexual or bisexual or transsexual? Do you think that I'll turn into a gay or transgender one day? Or I can heal myself? FYI I don't hate gay people or any other gender. But I'm not okay with this current situation right now

    In a word, I'm a straight guy who is into sissy hypno porn and feminization stuff, and porn where you think yourself as the women, but don't like it really. I want to be back to my original, normal self. I don't enjoy these stuff and it's hurting me badly.

    Help me. I need some help badly. Nofap forum is the only option. Please don't mind me for writing this long post. But I need guidance or help badly. I want to know how to get rid of this.
     
  2. HelloSalute

    HelloSalute Fapstronaut

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    Don't look at porn at all. That's my advice. and my advice to myself. While I never specifically had what you're explaining here, I did find myself starting to get "Curious" about looking at gay porn or transsexual stuff. I never looked at it though. I shut it down immediately... If you completely stop looking at porn you should go back to normal. Although I don't know how long that will take. I had erectile dysfunction from the years of porn I watched. Over a period of time that became less and less of an issue as I got porn away from me. My voice returned and deepened. My assertiveness returned and my confidence in general. The ability to be near women. Looking at porn made me look at women around me in a weird way. I didn't want to be around them. Now that Porn is gone and hopefully forever gone out of my life, I have no qualms about being around women and talking with them.

    I'm not going to lie, I absolutely get urges to look at porn, and its not exactly easy to stay away, but overall its a huge benefit to stay away from.
    Hopefully this helps.

    May God and Jesus help you and all of us to stay away from porn. For their glory.
    Peace be with you.
     
    Tarheels16 and samir pasa like this.
  3. TheLoneDanger

    TheLoneDanger Fapstronaut

    You're not gay. If you would've said you're not attracted to women, you might have been gay. But you have warped your brain so much that you need twisted and false stimuli to arouse you now. The only solution is stopping all porn and masturbation. It works and all you can do is take my word for it, as I've seen firsthand the transformation back to my normal self.

    But you see, knowing the solution is the easy part. It's if you're willing and able to do it is the hard part.
     
  4. Anderstanding

    Anderstanding Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, don't panic. You are not gay. I tell you from experience on those kids of shit. Do some research about HOCD and you will clarify all doubts you have on this subject.

    It's just your brain escalating to some harder material in order to get you more dopamine boost. It tricks your mind to the hell. Don't worry. Stop porn completely and you will feel better over time. This doubts will still popping up in your mind for while but try to let it go without giving credit on it.

    For me I had to go hardmode on my NoFap journey.

    Stay strong!!
     
  5. samir pasa

    samir pasa Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for replying. Did hard mode fixed your problems or thoughts? Also another question, do you think these fetishes are because of porn?
     
  6. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    If you get out of it and stay out of it, your mind will settle down and reboot. Hypno-porn really plays with your mind. N
    Stop it.
    Block it.
    Find something healthy to think about and fill your mind with.
     
  7. Anderstanding

    Anderstanding Fapstronaut

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    It can be. For sure. But the answer for this question you only can get from within.
    I believe everything has a root. So, try to dig it up and see whats buried inside your mind. Don't be afraid to face your true inner self, it is usally the solution for our problems and has all the answers. It know better.

    About my struggles, my issues didn't go away yet but it got better considerably.
     

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