I have journaled a lot on this website since 2018, and this time I wanted to mention
some ancillary benefits that have happened to me. They are unusual to say the least:
1. hyper-emotional - All my emotions are heightened. It is a dangerous situation, being single and lonely, finding myself at the brink of suicide. But I didn't fap to fix my emotions or my life. Instead, I came to realize that emotions were like cumulus clouds on a summer day, which drift and morph minutes later. Why let emotions control my life?
Also, about emotions: being too happy or comic all the time, even though fun, seemed to put my life out of perspective. I was tempted to believe I was a comedian or a comic actor. So I had to control this too, since I had no experience or education in comedy, and needed to focus on my life's work as a musician.
2. longer reach - I had written in another post that I actually grew an inch taller. I was measured by the military and after my reboot measured by a nurse at a hospital. The longer reach thing I have not exactly measured, but I suspect that my arms are slightly longer since the reboot.
Who cares? Longer arms give a man a biological advantage. Other than reaching into the passenger floorboard for CDs in rush hour traffic, longer reach had other benefits. In a fight, that extra few milimeters mean a great deal, because the difference betweeen a jab against an opponent and a punch is only defined by the power of the contact, the power more likely with more physical contact of the fist. Still too short to dunk a basketball, I felt that I was taking up more space in a subtle way, presenting myself as a more powerful male. Also, I thought it helped my drumming.
3. mad music - I struggled with limitations on some of the instruments I play, such as bass gtr, keys and drums, and vocals. I really believe that after the reboot and the numerous streaks thereafter pushed me into higher levels. The main problem I had was getting up and down the scales on piano. After my streak, I started to just do it like a one finger glissando, in a smooth way.
4. fear be gone - I was in two near-altercations in 2019, one with a shoplifter and the other with a park bench drunk. Both of them were threatening, and started to approach to hit. Normally there would have been adrenaline and/or fear. But I didn't feel that way. I just kept my eyes open, ready to dodge, hyper alert. And I just wasn't afraid, which was weird. Other dudes just don't frighten me anymore in a confrontation. Also, after last year's reboot, there was another attempted duke out when a strange dude grabbed my butt at an open stage.
I'd be curious to hear your reflections, strange benefits or opinions!
some ancillary benefits that have happened to me. They are unusual to say the least:
1. hyper-emotional - All my emotions are heightened. It is a dangerous situation, being single and lonely, finding myself at the brink of suicide. But I didn't fap to fix my emotions or my life. Instead, I came to realize that emotions were like cumulus clouds on a summer day, which drift and morph minutes later. Why let emotions control my life?
Also, about emotions: being too happy or comic all the time, even though fun, seemed to put my life out of perspective. I was tempted to believe I was a comedian or a comic actor. So I had to control this too, since I had no experience or education in comedy, and needed to focus on my life's work as a musician.
2. longer reach - I had written in another post that I actually grew an inch taller. I was measured by the military and after my reboot measured by a nurse at a hospital. The longer reach thing I have not exactly measured, but I suspect that my arms are slightly longer since the reboot.
Who cares? Longer arms give a man a biological advantage. Other than reaching into the passenger floorboard for CDs in rush hour traffic, longer reach had other benefits. In a fight, that extra few milimeters mean a great deal, because the difference betweeen a jab against an opponent and a punch is only defined by the power of the contact, the power more likely with more physical contact of the fist. Still too short to dunk a basketball, I felt that I was taking up more space in a subtle way, presenting myself as a more powerful male. Also, I thought it helped my drumming.
3. mad music - I struggled with limitations on some of the instruments I play, such as bass gtr, keys and drums, and vocals. I really believe that after the reboot and the numerous streaks thereafter pushed me into higher levels. The main problem I had was getting up and down the scales on piano. After my streak, I started to just do it like a one finger glissando, in a smooth way.
4. fear be gone - I was in two near-altercations in 2019, one with a shoplifter and the other with a park bench drunk. Both of them were threatening, and started to approach to hit. Normally there would have been adrenaline and/or fear. But I didn't feel that way. I just kept my eyes open, ready to dodge, hyper alert. And I just wasn't afraid, which was weird. Other dudes just don't frighten me anymore in a confrontation. Also, after last year's reboot, there was another attempted duke out when a strange dude grabbed my butt at an open stage.
I'd be curious to hear your reflections, strange benefits or opinions!
