Streak broken after a month

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by w95chris, Sep 13, 2017.

  1. w95chris

    w95chris Fapstronaut

    Well i did not masturbate for one moth but 2 days ago i saw something that woke up the urges and i fapped.I did it again today though and honestly i do not regret doing it.

    I know i should reset but what bothers me is that two days ago i felt awesome afterwards for a while but that passed after some time and then i felt tired like i was up from 5 in the morning or something like that (it is normal to feel like that for a while) but the next day i felt like any other day.I mean i did not feel awful or something like that which happened in the past.

    I think that i am healed right now and that all of that for which i was hoping to achieve and feel at the end of the journey now came true.I had done this in the past and i eventually fapped again and again until you know i became an addict again so now i will be extra careful.

    I also want to say that i was not "open minded" during the beginning of my first journey(s) and i thought that you should never fap again for no reason and that porn is bad for your health.Although now i stand by what i said about porn but things have changed about masturbation.I now think that if you are healed you can fap (without porn of course) say once a month or so

    What do you guys think?Do you think that i am healed or do you think that this is my mind playing tricks and that i should start again in "hard mode"?
  2. Your mind is obviously tricking you.
  3. TheAwhit

    TheAwhit Fapstronaut

    I think this really depends on the person, but if you can stay in hard mode as much as possible that really is the best way.
  4. w95chris

    w95chris Fapstronaut

    @MeTP is it now?I am not saying that in order to patronize you or anything with that.All i am saying is that if my mind was playing games with me wouldn't it last only for a while?Have you been in the same situation before to say that with confidence?(Again i am not trying to claim you wrong but only asking because of your confidence)

    @TheAwhit What is hard mode anyway and when do you stop it?I mean at what point do you know when to stop?Surely fapping frequently is wrong and addicting as is watching porn but when is the right time to stop?I really think that the key is limitation.If you fap once a month OK fine no problem but if you do it again and again then we have a problem.Like alcohol drink once in a while and it is okay but drink too often and you become an addict
  5. I don't know how is your story but one month is too short for reboot.
    I saw many times people here that were writing like their mind was tricking them to abstain from NoFAP and to check by fapping or watching P if they are healed, to try fleshlight to use their penis to vagina-like penetration etc.
    Personally I know from my experience that mind will whisper you to fap once to check your heatlh, to watch P ( your are healed so p will not suck you back into destruction), to fap because you feel low etc. After meditation course where I truly recognized how mind works I can tell you that unrecognized and unobserved mind is our worst enemy together with ego and he will tell us most disgusting lies to do to destroy us and give him quick fix of dopamine.
    It's mine experience about porn and mind, you can do whatever you want but remember why you started noPMO.
    RedPillRebooter likes this.
  6. Veronico

    Veronico Fapstronaut

    Dude, I relapsed after 8 months and I feel like I was before relapsing. I'm relaxed and fine, I consider myself succesfully healed.
  7. w95chris

    w95chris Fapstronaut

    @MeTP I had a longer streak about 130 days and i was healed at the time but then i became an addict again for a 10 days i think before i started to abstain once again.I believe if you are healed once and become an addict again then in theory less time is required to get to the point you were before.My mind used to whisper things to me but now i completely understand what i am doing thus i do not regret it.Its not like the heat of the moment where you do something bad and then regret it.

    I do remember why i started this journey.I started it in order to heal myself and in order to feel better.Now i see that i do feel better and i am better person.I have grown as a person and i am more calm now.Of course no PMO is responsible for some of these things and i am glad i started this journey now though i am healed and the only thing that is required is to pay attention not to go back to square one

    @Veronico I felt the same way.Just like before relapsing a bit tired though but that is normal.Now the only thing that is required is to keep control of the relapse sequence (if there is going to be another relapse(s)) and that is all i think in order not to fall back to our old habits
  8. @w95chris I agree with you completely and understand you. Good luck on your path bro !
    w95chris likes this.
  9. I think I'll eventually return to an occasional fap, obviously without P. But right now my mind/body is basically telling me not to fap, so I suppose I need more time to heal. I'm 6 weeks hard mode. I'd say do whatever feels right for you. If you feel that your fapping is getting out of control, then maybe return to nofap. A lot of people in here are shaming masturbation and I don't see anything wrong with it as long as it's without P and it doesn't become excessive.
  10. w95chris

    w95chris Fapstronaut

    Well faping is not bad -to me at least- as long as it is kept under control and without porn.If you are healed then sure fap if you want to but be aware that it could take control over you if you are not careful and end up right where you started.If you feel that faping is getting out of control then return to NoFap and start again.

    In the end though it is up to what each person feels like it right.There are no book of rules here that apply to everyone.Perhaps to most yes but each person is different
  11. nofepper

    nofepper Fapstronaut

    OP please explain better your situation. Why you started with noFap. It was because PIED, HOCD, benefits or something other? I also want to M sometimes after reboot, but not on porn and not if i'd lost my benefits.
  12. We CAN Do This!

    We CAN Do This! Fapstronaut

    I would say if you fap again within the next week, reset your counter, because that would prove that you don't have control and the chaser effect has caught you. By all means, carry on now, but just beware because it's very easy to trick yourself into thinking your no longer addicted.

    Good luck :)
  13. w95chris

    w95chris Fapstronaut

    @nofepper if you are directing this question to me then it was by accident.I fapped so many times a day then during the next few days i had no intention to fap at all and i felt better so i decided to continue and it was not difficult at all.After many streaks i reached 129 days and i decided to fap out of curiosity and i felt the same as before.Then i got addicted again for a week or so until i finally got control of it once again.I do not think i had PIED though but i am not sure because i never had sex so even if i had probably i did not realize it

    I still have control over myself and my actions and when i fapped i was completely aware of what i was doing and made peace with the idea.In the past i always thought: "it is ok just a quick look" or "never mind start again tomorrow no harm done" and similar thoughts

    @We CAN Do This! i am still tempted every day but i control myself and do the right thing.Perhaps i am not healed or perhaps i am.What i know for certain is that i feel much better now than before and when i fapped i felt almost the same as before (just tired and sleepy but that is normal).

    I wish the best of luck and i wish you succeed in the journey
  14. Halo_30

    Halo_30 Fapstronaut

    @w95chris I relapsed after about a month and had similar thoughts as you about whether I have healed.
    I started my no PMO journey because of PIED, so I'll know if I've healed only if I have sex with no ED.
    PIED is a terrible thing, and I prefer to continue with no PMO for as long as possible to make sure I get rid of it.
    If you don't have PIED and you're "only" addicted to porn, and you know that you now have control over this addiction, so perhaps you have reached your goal. Only you can know that.

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