Only 13 days in and I already PMO. I didn't even see it coming. One minute I'm feeling confident and no where near tempted. The next thing I know I'm surfing youtube for more and more explicit content until I end up saying "screw it" and opening full on P. I'm really disappointed in myself. I know that if I don't reach out to you guys right now I will be binging all weekend.
Dude, you need to add a new, very practical tool to your arsenal now, called the Dialogue Method. Think of yourself as having different personalites. Your main personality is what's called your True Self. This is the part of you that knows what's best for you and aspires to all the true and genuine goals you have in life. Then, there is the addict subpersonality (or subpersonalities even). These are shadowy figures that lurk around in your mind, trying to talk you into serving their addictive needs. From today onward, you need to start exposing these addict subpersonalities as soon as you see one or feel it acting within you or stirring around in your mind. The way you expose it is to name it and call it out at the start of it's stirring. In the beginning, it's sometimes helpful to do this aloud even (if no one's around). The idea is to personify the subpersonality addict so that it seems like a real and substantial personality. Then, in the case of the questions that you were asking, you might go ahead and even ask the "surfing lust addict" in this instance: "What are you doing this?" "What are you seeking to accomplish?" "What are you a substitute for?" Then, just see whether you hear an answer fro your addict - he might just tell you outright. If you do get an answer, you may just learn some beneficial insights into your addiction. Also, if you hear this particular addict subpersonality trying to tempt you, then you override his tempting with the voice of your True Self, contradicting his allurement and exposing his plots and telling him to f#ck off even - telling him you're not interested in his addictive s#it and that you (as your true self) are choosing to do something different, according to your genuine aspirations. The real key is to make this a habitual practice so that eventually it comes naturally even. We need to always personify the inner addict voices so they exist as real entities in front of our eyes, as they are indeed real things in our heads but there they might otherwise lurk unawares and resemble shadows or dark mist. Try it, dude. Report back your progress with this.
JoeinMD, your advice sounds absolutely genius. Since this morning I got up and got out of the house. I removed myself from where I am alone. When I finished mowing the grass and got in the shower I started feeling sorry for myself again and got the urge to PMO again. I did what you said. I called out my Imposter Self out loud. Without trying to come across as a nut case, I felt like Imposter Self tucked tail and ran. I'm going to keep trying this.
Yes, keep trying this and make this your new habit - and think what is true - that a guy obsessively playing with his dick is the real nut case: those who call out the addiction are the sane ones -- yet, it's our addict subpersonality who wants us to believe the opposite - and we believe it. Well, no more!
Good shit JoeinMD, I I'be been doing something similar. I call it being hijacked. I'm feeling great and good, and out of nowhere I become "hijacked" by my sub personality. It's become really easy to distinguish between my true self and the addict in me and act accordingly.
The analogy I use is that I am like a person walking a dog (my subconscious). I just need to retrain the dog so that we can go out for walks together without it taking off on me. My subconscious is always with me, and always will be. I just need to train it behave differently.
