Stress, fatigue, hurt, failure, and loneliness...

So I stand within a moral contradiction... I am ashamed to say I masturbated last night, and I do not have the bravery to tell my girlfriend, my mentors or anyone...

But there is more to it, I cannot and will not tell those around me , because I do not want to lose those I love. Yet by keeping this secret from them I have invited so much problems into my life.

My girlfriend is in America, and I was doing fine until she left, then suddenly I was alone each night and well it hurt, it's going to be like this for 5 months. I let this loneliness get the better of me and relapsed. Then I got sick and relapsed again, and again and again...

So here I sit now, stuck back in a cycle I thought I could get rid of, realising I need help. Perhaps I'll find it here in the nofap community, perhaps somewhere else.

Perhaps I need to be honest and tell the truth...

Either way I sit here, not coping, losing sleep ...

I guess this thread doesn't really fit the discussion, but I just wanted to say if there was anyone else like me, alone, that doesn't really care about the superpowers, just wants to get rid of the shame.
You are not alone .

 

Yes and know, I've had a brief conversation with my gf while she was in country but now shes away it's very hard to lay any problems on her because she's barely coping being away from home...