I had a breakthrough with the wife yesterday. What a relief! In one of the posts above I wrote: "2. I believe that my wife will come around, given the right motivation, given enough time, etc. I don't know what the proper course of action is to get there, but it will happen." She didn't let me down! Kisses her way We finally talked though everything. She let her guard down. She even let me tell her about details about my porn addiction that she had previously avoided hearing. All of it was good. 5 years ago, this whole fiasco would have taken 3 weeks to resolve, that is progress BABY! The result of the conversation is that she said she will consider the idea of bringing in outside advice about how to improve the intimacy in our marriage, but that she wasn't ready to read a book. She said she didn't mean it a few days ago when she said she didn't want me looking outside the marriage for advice, that she was just emotional when she said that. I am going to find a proper book on the topic (suggestions?) and read it, and she said she is would be ok with me sharing any insightful passages in the book with her. She even recommended I get the kindle version so that it would be easier for me to electronically share things with her. We talked about what kinds of books would be most interesting... like I said, it was a good day I'll keep you all updated and thanks for your support. If you have any relationship book recommendations about building intimacy within a marriage, please send them my way. One more revelation I had while my wife and I were talking... I know I want more intimacy... meaning, I want to feel more emotionally connected to my wife, but... I realized I really don't know how to do that... like, I don't have a good set of tools in brain on how to go from point A to point B. It is like I have only a hammer(sex), but in my marriage I need a hammer, a screw driver, some pliers, an apron, a fly swatter, and a curling iron. I both don't have any of those other things and even if I did, I would have no idea what they were or how to use them. Weird thing is... I don't think my wife knows how to be intimate either, but, I believe she is in denial of that fact. My proof is... if I ask her how we can be more intimate, she is just as clueless as me, and the fact that her upbringing and parents are very similar to mine.