Struggle with lack of purpose in life

[BigBadWolf_27]

Since a few weeks I'm struggling with... complete lack of purpose in my life.

I truly dedicated myself into this journey, tried to change something. For most of the time I had some bigger goals like reaching ninety days of abstinence, getting a driver's license or reduce my overall level of anxiety. I look back at this whole trip and I'm thinking to myself - "You did a great job..."

For a lot of you it may seem funny, but for me - socially anxious guy with no motivation to do anything with his life, who was jerking off to porn daily and run away from any kind of responsibility... It's a big deal. Finally succeeding with the driving test after three years of passiveness and fear to get into the car... Being able to get out for a bike trip on my own, feeling free and happy like a kid... Kissing a girl for the first time, realizing that real connection is much more worthy that pixelated fantasies shown in porn videos...

For the most part I had a goal to aim for. Now I also have some. I would like to be independent, to get a job and be able to finally call myself as an adult...

The thing is... I don't know what to do. In my area I can get only a "boring", more physical kind of jobs. I tried one and it didn't worked out. I just don't see myself doing something I hate to do, only to gain money. I don't want to force myself every single day to get up for it, I would like to feel some kind of self-realization and purpose...

I also see myself like an "socially awkward" person. Sometimes I think that I will never be able to find a job suited for me. It keeps me frustrated and angry. I would like to find my way out, I'm close to the full change, I'm afraid of falling down into that filthy hole again. With every day I feel more shame that I don't do much with my life at the moment. I'm afraid of that state of complacency. I'm twenty-one years old man, who is afraid about wasting his live...

I'm proud of myself, but I need to make this one more step into the unknown. Do you have any advices what to do to actually find a purpose and mission in life? Should I take whatever job I can at the moment and gain experience or should I seek my inner passion? How can I know what I really want?

 

[DeeJ4y]

If you truly do not have any goals or visions or passion about something I'd say best thing is to try different jobs that could interest you. Maybe look out jobs from another town and move there once you secure a job. Or go educate yourself on a subject that you find interesting. I think that before anybody finds their purpose, they will be lost. Just hang in there, I know anxiety etc can be annoying and scary but if there is nothing that you can do about the situation, meditate and really process the emotions. Maybe read a book called "the power of now", it helped me be more present and also identify my emotions and also to get to the roots of them. Also just thinking about what you are feeling helps. After you know how you feel ask yourself why you feel that way. Ask questions about the feeling until at one point you realize that it is irrational and something that you should not give power to. But process the emotion. And work with the answers that you get from those questions. Feelings always have a reason, they message us. Just do not let them take over. They are the messengers, you are the leader. They tell you that you need to attack something - do it. Dont put the messenger up to the battle, he does not know how to lead a battle, or to battle in the first place. I kind of went on sry bout that, I wanted to find a clever way to say it but I do not know how well it panned out, hope you got something from this.

 

[LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself]

Since a few weeks I'm struggling with... complete lack of purpose in my life.

I truly dedicated myself into this journey, tried to change something. For most of the time I had some bigger goals like reaching ninety days of abstinence, getting a driver's license or reduce my overall level of anxiety. I look back at this whole trip and I'm thinking to myself - "You did a great job..."

For a lot of you it may seem funny, but for me - socially anxious guy with no motivation to do anything with his life, who was jerking off to porn daily and run away from any kind of responsibility... It's a big deal. Finally succeeding with the driving test after three years of passiveness and fear to get into the car... Being able to get out for a bike trip on my own, feeling free and happy like a kid... Kissing a girl for the first time, realizing that real connection is much more worthy that pixelated fantasies shown in porn videos...

For the most part I had a goal to aim for. Now I also have some. I would like to be independent, to get a job and be able to finally call myself as an adult...

The thing is... I don't know what to do. In my area I can get only a "boring", more physical kind of jobs. I tried one and it didn't worked out. I just don't see myself doing something I hate to do, only to gain money. I don't want to force myself every single day to get up for it, I would like to feel some kind of self-realization and purpose...

I also see myself like an "socially awkward" person. Sometimes I think that I will never be able to find a job suited for me. It keeps me frustrated and angry. I would like to find my way out, I'm close to the full change, I'm afraid of falling down into that filthy hole again. With every day I feel more shame that I don't do much with my life at the moment. I'm afraid of that state of complacency. I'm twenty-one years old man, who is afraid about wasting his live...

I'm proud of myself, but I need to make this one more step into the unknown. Do you have any advices what to do to actually find a purpose and mission in life? Should I take whatever job I can at the moment and gain experience or should I seek my inner passion? How can I know what I really want?

Look up on You Tube videos about the concept of "ikigai".

 

[GripStrength]

Since a few weeks I'm struggling with... complete lack of purpose in my life.

I truly dedicated myself into this journey, tried to change something. For most of the time I had some bigger goals like reaching ninety days of abstinence, getting a driver's license or reduce my overall level of anxiety. I look back at this whole trip and I'm thinking to myself - "You did a great job..."

For a lot of you it may seem funny, but for me - socially anxious guy with no motivation to do anything with his life, who was jerking off to porn daily and run away from any kind of responsibility... It's a big deal. Finally succeeding with the driving test after three years of passiveness and fear to get into the car... Being able to get out for a bike trip on my own, feeling free and happy like a kid... Kissing a girl for the first time, realizing that real connection is much more worthy that pixelated fantasies shown in porn videos...

For the most part I had a goal to aim for. Now I also have some. I would like to be independent, to get a job and be able to finally call myself as an adult...

The thing is... I don't know what to do. In my area I can get only a "boring", more physical kind of jobs. I tried one and it didn't worked out. I just don't see myself doing something I hate to do, only to gain money. I don't want to force myself every single day to get up for it, I would like to feel some kind of self-realization and purpose...

I also see myself like an "socially awkward" person. Sometimes I think that I will never be able to find a job suited for me. It keeps me frustrated and angry. I would like to find my way out, I'm close to the full change, I'm afraid of falling down into that filthy hole again. With every day I feel more shame that I don't do much with my life at the moment. I'm afraid of that state of complacency. I'm twenty-one years old man, who is afraid about wasting his live...

I'm proud of myself, but I need to make this one more step into the unknown. Do you have any advices what to do to actually find a purpose and mission in life? Should I take whatever job I can at the moment and gain experience or should I seek my inner passion? How can I know what I really want?

I’ll tell you this. I’m almost 30 and I have zero clue about career goals and passions (when it comes to careers).
But I remember distinctly, 21 was a turning point year for me. I was doing really good and felt like I was getting on the right track. 21 was the start of the end for me. I went in completely the wrong direction. I let how I was (Which sounds a lot like you when it comes to goals and personality) push me in the wrong direction. I completely lost whatever hope I was holding on to. Completely lost myself.

I’ll give this advice. Your 21. Who cares what you do, don’t let it get to you or try too hard to find this perfect plan. Just always make what you think are the right choices on the day to day. If you want to be more adventurous. Have an adventure. Just do it, do whatever you want. But make sure you’re actually doing it. Just enjoy life. Let it slide but keep it in the back of your mind; that if you get any kind of excitement from something career wise or life goal wise, to just pursue it ASAP. Don’t sit on it. If you don’t like it just keep doing it until something else sparks you more.

Just enjoy life and take advantage of opportunities and trust that it will all work out eventually if you want it to

 

[Don'tLookBack]

Since a few weeks I'm struggling with... complete lack of purpose in my life.

I truly dedicated myself into this journey, tried to change something. For most of the time I had some bigger goals like reaching ninety days of abstinence, getting a driver's license or reduce my overall level of anxiety. I look back at this whole trip and I'm thinking to myself - "You did a great job..."

For a lot of you it may seem funny, but for me - socially anxious guy with no motivation to do anything with his life, who was jerking off to porn daily and run away from any kind of responsibility... It's a big deal. Finally succeeding with the driving test after three years of passiveness and fear to get into the car... Being able to get out for a bike trip on my own, feeling free and happy like a kid... Kissing a girl for the first time, realizing that real connection is much more worthy that pixelated fantasies shown in porn videos...

For the most part I had a goal to aim for. Now I also have some. I would like to be independent, to get a job and be able to finally call myself as an adult...

The thing is... I don't know what to do. In my area I can get only a "boring", more physical kind of jobs. I tried one and it didn't worked out. I just don't see myself doing something I hate to do, only to gain money. I don't want to force myself every single day to get up for it, I would like to feel some kind of self-realization and purpose...

I also see myself like an "socially awkward" person. Sometimes I think that I will never be able to find a job suited for me. It keeps me frustrated and angry. I would like to find my way out, I'm close to the full change, I'm afraid of falling down into that filthy hole again. With every day I feel more shame that I don't do much with my life at the moment. I'm afraid of that state of complacency. I'm twenty-one years old man, who is afraid about wasting his live...

I'm proud of myself, but I need to make this one more step into the unknown. Do you have any advices what to do to actually find a purpose and mission in life? Should I take whatever job I can at the moment and gain experience or should I seek my inner passion? How can I know what I really want?

I can't really say what your purpose in life is. It's not something that comes easy to most people, nor should it be. I think we need to be stretched first before we "find" any purpose.

Personally, I was pushed to the point of almost ending my life, but I prayed to God in my darkest moment and found a way out. All glory to Him. That's my experience, though.

However, if you never get this huge spiritual experience in your life. I would give this advice: The fact that you are on this website shows you have a purpose: To quit porn. Run with that! Start creating a list of good habits that you want MORE than porn. It doesn't have to be this awe-inspiring, revelatory life, but just a life that is headed in a direction that you want to go more than this trash addiction. Start by taking care of your health, talking to people you trust if possible, staying hydrated, meditating, whatever. You obviously see that porn has had a negative impact on your life. And why is this? Because you already have a purpose my man. You wouldn't be here if you didn't think there was a better life than porn. Now it's up to you to decide what that life is going to be like. What kind of hobbies do you want to fill your time with? What kind of career would you want to work toward? What friends do you need to drop and what kind of people do you need to surround yourself with? Make your lifestyle porn-free.