Struggles before bed?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by safarihats, May 11, 2020.

  1. safarihats

    safarihats Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, quarantine has been pretty hard in itself to continue my NoFap journey, but I've noticed that I've been fine for the most part throughout the day. I find things to do to keep me occupied, and I don't fall back into PMO. But when it's time for me to go to bed, and it's just me and my thoughts, I'm all over the place. My mind begins to fantasize and I eventually relapse. Once these thoughts begin, it's a guaranteed end in a relapse. Does anyone else experience this struggle? And have any of you guys found anything that helps manage this? Anything helps!!
     
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  2. CaptainFranklin

    CaptainFranklin Fapstronaut

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    I keep a book by the bed and read until I get tired to fall asleep.
     
  3. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

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    I'm a year plus into recovery. And 98% of the time I fall asleep to a podcast. I actually look forward to going to bed a bit earlier so I can lay there with my eyes closed and listen to one of my favorites.
    I get the same way. If it was just quiet my mind would quickly go into fantasy. So I find listening to podcasts is not only relaxing. It helps me forget the fantasy or prevents them from even coming. Highly recommend you search for a few different podcasts that you may enjoy! Obviously stay away from any that may be sexually stimulating .
     
  4. A. Skywalker

    A. Skywalker Fapstronaut

    I can relate to you, @safarihats . Personally I would suggest to you, firstly, to keep your phone far from you and your bedroom before going to bed; do some exercise and get tired, so you'll be fall asleep very quickly and you won't have the forces to fantasize. Or, as another user said, try reading a book until you get tired.
     
  5. Marcus Aurelius

    Marcus Aurelius Fapstronaut

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    Books or podcasts both work well. If you're going to listen to a podcast though, I'd recommend downloading it to a device that doesn't have access to the internet e.g. an MP3 player. I've found that being on the internet at all isn't a good idea before bed.
     
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  6. FellatiousD

    FellatiousD Temporarily Suspended
    NoFap Defender

    Yes, aside from morning horniness, this is my number one cause of relapse. It's about 50/50 between the two. Sometimes I can break the urges with a determined mindset. In fact, I think that is the single best way. It gets better as I stay abstinent for longer periods. The reason I don't try to distract myself is #1 to practice discipline and controlling my urges; #2 because I don't like to get into the habit of only being able to sleep with distractions; #3 even when I distract myself with stuff, I still relapse a lot. Therefore, the best way to kill urges (day urges, night urges, morning urges) is through sheer determination, at least from my experience.
     
  7. easygoing134

    easygoing134 Fapstronaut

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    I have been searching forums and reading the literature on this site, but I cannot find anything that confirms or my technique or rejects it.

    To conquer the urge at, and in the middle of the night I wear a jock strap with an impact resistant cup.

    When I feel my hands moving toward myself, I hit that hard shell and I remember what I'm trying to do, and in the middle of the night when you shift positions and sheet slides across you- the cup protects you from that stimulation.

    I'm unsure if using tools to keep from touching is an approved "NoFap" protocol but it does work. I wonder if it's like a heroine addict beating the urge by using methodone.... Yeah it's not heroine, but it's also not quitting.

    Moderator help with this idea would be appreciated.
     
  8. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    i never struggled before bed
     
  9. easygoing134

    easygoing134 Fapstronaut

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  10. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Since I don't stay up anymore that time of day seems to be no longer a problem - if anything it's the morning or weekends like the other week when I resorted to using a novel taste to derail that train of thought but that's like one time out of 3 weeks and the morning urges are very weak and very brief, it takes me very little time to wake up now and without forcing myself.

    Of course I've been working on sleep hygiene for a LONG time. I don't try to cram a lot of online time at night, I know it's going to screw up my day. Even if I don't have to work the next day why don't I just do whatever I want to do the next day? Of course I'm also doing a general digital declutter.

    The basic idea is to structure your entire day, it isn't just about night time before bed, it isn't just about number of hours sleeping but a consistent pattern. I have set times when I eat, exercise, (walking) and sleep. Getting back to sunlight exposure though even before that I had the full spectrum lamp at my desk at work.

    The thing is there is no one little trick or a bag of tricks like cold showers and push-ups or something like that, which are nice things to do but doesn't train your body process overall. Your body starts building melatonin slowly very early and it accumulates, depending on a persons genetics they may really need to wind down for bed much earlier. You can still do stuff but you want to start a routine that sets you up for rest, watch all sources of blue light not just screens, etc.

    I could go on and on but then it gets too long for most peoples tastes but the information for this kind of stuff is out there and has been talked about on this forum before and can be found with some searches. The point is though you have to have a routine, and you have to do it consistently. Everything I mentioned has a rationale and a biological basis, for example muscles have clock genes, (exercise) light through the eyes activates the suprachiasmatic nucleus which is the master clock of the body, etc.
     
  11. Ghabbbyyyy

    Ghabbbyyyy Fapstronaut

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    I used to suffer from this sister. Fix your sleep schedule. Only go to bed when you are tired. Stay away from electronic devices 1 hour before going to bed. Idk how bad your addiction is but for me, i can only masturbate to porn. That said what i did to break free from it was switching off my phone and laptop, and putting them in my cupboards. This will atleast ensure u are safe from porn. This has helped me alot as i previously suffered from Porn induced insomnia. Hope this helps because it sure has helped me :)
     
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