Struggling badly atm- Back to square one.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Daviesmark1, Mar 26, 2018.

  1. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

    I haven't been active on this site for nearly a year now.

    During that time I was usually making around 10 days before relapsing.. now I'm doing it every two days or so.

    I am not in a good place atm in regards to my overall quality of life.

    I left home last September aged 18 to compete a journalism course. I had the most amazing time where I lived, made great friends and completed my course achieved good grades.

    Since then, I managed to secure two days a week work experience at a reputable newspaper, where I've had over 100 sports articles published. However I have entered a stage of decline in my life not just in terms of work but also social and general wellbeing.

    As my course finished where I was studying. I had two choices: stay up in the area of the country where I was; which is a good place for media. Or go back home to my rural hometown.

    I threw myself into the deep end and stayed up- though, this has involved living at my 45 year old Aunts house who lives in a city nearby.

    I got a part- time job, working 4 days a week to earn money to allow me to pay the bills- and then 2 days a week unpaid at the paper. Sunday is my one day off.

    Things started out great. I was enjoying the job, the writing and doing fine- but now it's not so great.

    To get the point:

    I don't have any friends where I am currently. I don't particularly like my work colleagues and so don't meet with them outside work

    I miss my friends that I made last year- a lot were from countries around the world so I no longer see them.

    I'm stuck in a rut working in a job I don't want to do.

    I come home from work , cook, go to bed and go to work again- no spare time

    My aunt has been my only real form of social interaction for the past 7 months. I am starting to go about insane haha- I went from going out every weekend to never going out.

    I have been applying for full time trainee reporter roles and had 2 interviews but no job offer.

    I was hoping that my work at the paper would lead to a full time position, but it hadn't. Each time I go in I am less motivated to write. I am not even getting feedback on my work, it gets published by I don't get told what was good/bad. I have covered several live games during my one day off, which have sometimes been 2+ hours away- but I haven't received any payment for anything I have done. I'm not doing it for money, I do it because it's what I love to do but it's just kinda annoying as I am fully qualified. I travel 40 minutes each morning and evening twice a week to do this work, but it's leading me nowhere anywhere now. I have asked to switch to general news but have been told I will have to wait until July/August. ( currently on sport- my main passion). I'm trying to switch as for a lot of trainee reporter roles you need all round experience.

    Also had an interview for sports placement at the BBC, though not accepted.

    Can't seem to catch any kind of break atm.

    Nothing seems to be working out for me right now, and I think I'm holding myself back by masturbating and wasting my energy on that instead of looking to solve the issues.

    I never used to watch porn but now have started...

    I am going through stages of feeling ok and then like everything is too much to handle- I try my best not to get down, but it's now reaching a point whereby it's getting tough to stay positive:/
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2018
    j_pwc_bat and LilD like this.
  2. j_pwc_bat

    j_pwc_bat Fapstronaut

    PRO'S -- you seem to be "in your element" ......... or "doing what you love". This is great.

    What can you do??????

    You can apply to other news papers -- if you like. (But tenure will be attractive to future employers).
    You can join Free Dating websites -- women like a man with a plan. You have a plan and it is progressing. If you send 1-3 letters per day....... this will address your social needs......... and help you avoid PMO.
    You can beat PMO -- which will make you stronger.... write stronger articles... be stronger... No PMO will cause you 'to seek others' a bit more: A. anytime...anywhere you see a lassie you can strike up a conversation "do an interview" [you may or may not want to know her] B. be a little more sociable with co-workers -- perhaps take in a box of cookies (or individually wrapped treats) to show that you wish them well.

    As you beat PMO -- and do a 100% Focus on whatever activity is before you .......... you will be able to cut off an 30-60 minutes at your newspaper job (maybe other job too). Ask manager, "If I complete "x-y-z job " .... 30-60 minutes earlier...... with same quality... is it okay to go home?" This would add to your free time........... and you could work out 10 minutes per day.

    Definitely want to work on "no PMO" -- all benefits.

    You can win !!!

    Here's some tips:

    1. You literally don't have to watch porn ever again. (self.NoFap)
    submitted 2 years ago by
    BazookaMorpheus88 Days

    2. When PMO is not even an option (self.NoFap)
    submitted 3 years ago * by
    Kestral 233 days

    3. Google: "The pain of self-discipline [4] is far less than the pain of regret [8]" ..... Find an image you like......... and save it onto your computer or phone.

    4. Rewards -- treats or dessert (for good behavior); or buy something related to a hobby you really enjoy; listen to your favorite songs, etc.

    5. Some guy on line had this great advice: " Never touch your dick……[or female parts for women]."
    Tip……. when showering use a wash cloth

    6. Humor :) ....... Google: "Glad you could join me Mr. Bond". Funny, somewhat possessed toddler............... Anyone know the Villain the toddler is supposed to represent?

    7. Click on the NoFap "Emergency" button and find an image you like (positive influence):

    BONUS -- Fasting 1-3 times weekly [meals; or days] will help you have more self control -- and many health benefits. If you skip breakfast, GREEN TEA (WITH CAFFEINE) is a good, mild, stimulant.
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2018
  3. Well, it is sad to discover that you have let yourself go like this. :eek: At least return here and get some self-control and self discipline back. Then you will be in a better place in your mind. Masturbating to porn will just make you feel like crap. :(

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